SRS Girlfriend insensitive to be being fat. need advice.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by darkjedi, Feb 22, 2007.

  1. darkjedi

    darkjedi Muay Thai expert

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    I had always been fit for most my entire life and had always been concious of my body apperance so I worked out atleast 3-5 times a week and watched my diet, and trained in martial arts.

    about a year ago, I got into a motorcycle accident and screwed up my wrist. And then I lost motivation and got depressed for ahwile and started eating shitty foods, and stopped going to the gym or doing any athletic activities, needless to say got fat and gained about 35lbs. now I look fat and disgusting.

    So today, she tells me that her little brother is having a birthday pool party at an indoor swimming pool facility then go to Pizza Hut after for dinner. I figured if I was completely honest and told her about the real reason I don't want to go she would understand and just accept not going to the pool party and just attend dinner afterward. So I told her that I feel very uncomfortable swimming because im self-concious about my weight.. but she just started laughing at me and now is probably going to tell her parents and family about it and make me more uncomfortable..

    I then confronted her and told her to be more sensitive to my feelings, so she said I could go and just not swim. That's fine and all but it would still make me feel uncomfortable and weird showing up to a pool party where I just sit there and not swim. I just feel people will be asking me or be thinking wtf is my problem coming to a pool party and not swimming and would make for an even more uncomfortable situation for me.

    so I explain this to her but she's being stubborn and started getting angry at me so I just hung up on her. What can I do? Am I being too unreasonable? I really really don't want to go and swim or sit there either but I'm willing to go to her little bro's birthday lunch/dinner. I told her to make up an excuse that I had to work for part of that day but she said she does not want to lie to her parents and made me feel more shitty about myself.


    what are your thoughts?
     
  2. Lateralus

    Lateralus New Member

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    I'm a big guy, so I know how you feel as far as being self conscience about swimming. When I was younger I was so worried about it that I simply just wouldn't swim ever, unless it was just my immediate family around. Now I finally realized that people honestly don't care, no adult is going to outright make fun of you.

    As far as your girlfriend, she might be having a hard time understanding where you're coming from because she probably doesn't have a problem with how you look, so she doesn't see why you do either.
     
  3. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I'm skinny but I used to not go to pool parties because I'm as pale as a ghost. I would get ripped on constantly when I was younger. Now it's developed into a nice complex :ugh:
     
  4. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    When I first got with my fiance, I couldn't figure out why he wouldn't take his shirt off around me - after a couple weeks he said it was because he thought I'd think he was fat and ugly. I don't think he's fat at all, I love every ounce of him. Your gf probably feels the same about you, and maybe wanted to try and make you less insecure about yourself.
     
  5. Skeletor

    Skeletor Guest

    well dude... I went to a pool party a few months ago and the only guy who got in the pool with all the naked drunk girls was a fat dude, and the chicks were all over this dude later in the night and none of the other guys who are in better shape or skinnier at least.

    If it's with family, nobody is going to give a shit, seriously. Just go and have fun. Get back into working out, and watch yourself lose bodyfat and/or gain muscle mass.
     
  6. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    How about you stop being so vain and go the fuck swimming? Even if she's being insensitive, she's right: get over yourself, and get your ass in the pool.
     
  7. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Well from her side its pretty unreasonable if you don't go to the pool party. That's why she started laughing. However i can feel you when you feel highly uncomfortable of your own body. So go for the middle road. Take the oppertunity to go, but don't swim, then you are satisfied and then she is satisfied and no one loses in this case. Try not to put her life unneccesary on a halt.
     
  8. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    honestly, it's a pool.

    you may be insecure but remember, in Samoa, the fatter you are, the hotter you are.

    All it is is societal conditioning. I mean, if it's 600lbs then health risks are definate, but a weight gain of 35lbs isn't the worst dude.

    I don't go swimming often since I have weird reactions to sunscreen and am white as snow....
     
  9. JemmaX

    JemmaX New Member

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    wow its nice to see guys have weird sensitivites about their bodies too :hsugh:

    my boyfriend has a bit of a belly and I love every bit of him. Im sure your girlfriend feels the same way about you.
     
  10. deviant

    deviant rest your trigger on my finger

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    if you just can't get yourself to get in the pool, then go anyway but just tell them you don't like swimming, or that chlorine turns your hair orange or something :dunno:
     

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