SRS girlfriend has another guy's name tattood on her body

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by heffy, Mar 21, 2006.

  1. heffy

    heffy New Member

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    title says it all

    I've been dating this girl for the past 8 months or so. I'm really in love with her and I definitely see myself marrying her. Everything about her is perfect, except for the tattoo.

    She was in a 5-year relationship before me (which is itself hard to deal with). She was about to marry him and all, but her parents disapproved so she ended up breaking it off. That's a whole different story.

    The tattoo is an "S" on her lower back on the left side. Whenever I see it, I get kind of upset since she makes an effort to constantly hide it from me. However, it's impossible to not notice and a lot of people have asked her about it.

    She's met my parents too and it's definitely a long-term relationship. For obvious reasons, I don't want my parents to know she has a tattoo. I'm sure people at our church have also seen it.

    I'll be OK for a few days, but then I'll think about it and get all depressed. Not just the fact that she has somebody's name on her, but that she got a tattoo altogether. I hate tattoos and think they are retarded.

    I just saw a guy getting a tattoo on TV and thought of my girlfriend. She's very sweet and innocent, and it upsets me to think about the tattoo artist touching her bare skin (in a rather sensitive area) and how a guy who loved her wanted to ruin her beautiful skin by having a big S there.

    I can't give her a back massage without seeing the tattoo. She can't bend over to tie a shoe or pick something up without showing me the tattoo. And whenever I do, I get reminded of how much it hurt, how much she loved that guy to sacrifice this to make him happy, how much it will hurt to take it off, and how much it will cost to take it off.

    EVERYTHING about her is perfect except this. I really want to get over it, but I don't know how.
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    I also dislike tattoo's , if you love her enough just save money for a laser operation for her to get it removed. Every negative has also a positive side on it, you see if she has 'that' much commitment towards the guys she is with, then she is someone you should cherish. Yes its nasty, but there are so many nasty things we have to live with during our lives, i suggest you see it thru the fingers and give her some slack space. It will always be an irritance, but that's no reason to ditch her.
     
  3. Nightshade

    Nightshade New Member

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    if it is just an S then turn it into something good for you both!!

    like "Sexy" or "Sex Godess" or something??

    what else starts with S that has significance for you both??
     
  4. Paulie Walnuts

    Paulie Walnuts Im an agent of chaos

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    I know how you feel I hate tats also.

    I have a mental block about women being with other men. It drove me insane with my ex that she had 4 partners before me. I could not get over it. Thankfully I am with my fiance now who has only had sex with me.
     
  5. onslaught61

    onslaught61 OT Supporter

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    just think about whats more important, the fact that she loves you as much as you love her, or her stupid tattoo? It's hard to see that there but I think calling everything off would be even harder. I dunno what else to say man.
     
  6. Easygo

    Easygo New Member

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    That feeling is OK. That will bug you forever. It bugs her too.

    So, get rid of the tattoo.

    I guess the laser removal process is the best available right now. Get the money and do it. Have you checked on the cost? Be sure to see results on past customers from whoever may do it.
     
  7. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    I hear tattoo removals are painful...possibly more painful then getting the tattoo in the first place. IMHO it's her body, she shouldn't need to remove it just because it might make you feel inferior or insecure about your relationship. Like someone above said...the point is that she chooses to spend her time with YOU now, not Mr. "S"

    As far as tattoos go these days, there far less stigma associated with them then there were 20 years ago now. They might not be aesthetically pleasing on everyone, but certainly a small letter on her back shouldn't be affecting you so dramatically unless there is a bigger issue here.
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2006
  8. darnit

    darnit New Member

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    1. If you have problems think about your SO being with someone else before you.. get out of that realationship and grow the fuck up.
    2. If a tattoo on your SO bothers you..get out of that realationship and grow the fuck up.

    Stop thinking about YOURSELF, realationships are not just about YOU. And if a tatoo bothers you, your obviously shallow. So if she had some disfigurement , like a malformed arm, would you even look at her?
    I am amazed by some people.
    Now for me to be nice instead of honest.
    After you have grown up,.learned to accept her for all she is and decided that she is worth it.If she attempts to hide it again, ask HER why she is; reassure her that its ok and that she doesnt have to hide it.
    If SHE decides she wants it removed, be wiling to pay for half.
     
  9. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    The tattoo was something SHE wanted to do. At the time it may have seemed like a good idea to her, and then it all fell apart (the previous relationship). I'd not like it if my b/f had something permanent pertaining to his ex on him (though if it was a T for her first name, it'd work for me since my name begins with T as well), but even if he did, that was a choice in the past he made, and it wouldnt make me think any differently of him since it would have been before he met me anyway. Maybe she'll want to remove it, or add something on to it, its not like its actually the guys NAME.

    If it bothers you as much as it seems to, maybe you need to take a step back and reevaluate thsi relationship and whats REALLY wrong.
     
  10. Devilish

    Devilish Remind me AGAIN

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    I agree with darnit, even though it was said a little harshly :p

    It's an "S" ffs. It's not the guy's whole name. I'd hate to think what you'd be like if she had had children with the guy
     
  11. Nightshade

    Nightshade New Member

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    hey dude ...

    I just thought ...

    if you are dating her for 8 mnths and you haven't seen her ass are you even banging??

    shit dude ... if not, she has taken anal from that dude and then that means you are essentially fucked lol
     
  12. lick wid nit wit

    lick wid nit wit Official OT Oracle

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    Wow, dude, you have some serious issues.

    I know this is the Asylum but, just, wow.
     
  13. Matt2000ss

    Matt2000ss OT Supporter

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    My cousin's GF has her ex's name tattoed really big abover her ass. I cant imagine what that must be like for him when having sex with her from behind.
     
  14. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    Holy Art Batman! It's a tattoo for crying out loud. No big deal. There are worse things in life. That's just being petty, IMO.
     
  15. BurpKing

    BurpKing Money's only something you need in case you don't

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    Im with you on that one. That would drive me nuts. Tats in general are know as the tramp stamp.

    Offer to pay half to get rid of it.
     
  16. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    I have a tattoo. I am NOT a tramp. The very idea...:nono:
     
  17. ~*Mia*~

    ~*Mia*~ New Member

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    Excuse me? I have a small, pretty butterfly on my right ankle. I am about as far from a tramp as possible, actually still quite innocent. Don't make generalizations that aren't true.

    By the way - if I was with someone who couldn't tolerate the fact that I have my little tatoo, I'd dump him. That's very shallow, and not something you should be wasting so much of your time and energy fretting over. Getting a tatoo removed is very painful, I know people who've had it done. Forcing her to do that just so you feel better shows your lack of caring for her. Just get over it or end the relationship so she can find someone more worthy who won't judge her over a letter she has tatooed on her back.
     
  18. Arsenal4rs

    Arsenal4rs BEES!!! MUTHERFUCKIN BEES!!!

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    My ex died in in a Car accident about 1 1/2 years ago. After she died, I got a tattoo symbollizing her above my heart. My current girl (who Ive been with for 1 year now) know about it/her, and has been very supportive of me. She also had an ex's initials tattooed on her. As far as my tattoo goes, she's simply very mature about it, and she knows how much I love her. Hers bothered her though, so she recently had it covered up.

    Honestly man, I would say you really need to get over yourself. She had a life, previous to you, and this is something that was pre-you. If it bothers her, thats a differnet story, and yeah there are removal provedures, as well as cover ups. I think a little more acceptance on your part is called for.
     
  19. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    If this is the level of acceptance that you can muster, then your relationship is doomed. You need to fix YOU, not her tatoo.
     
  20. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    Meh, it's just a tattoo now. It's not like she has her actual ex embedded into her side. I understand that it would bug you, but it's not worth screwing up a good thing over, don't you think?
     
  21. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    Seriously dude, you need to take a step back. You have severe possessive issues with your girlfriend. You need to understand that she is a person, with gifts and flaws, and that she does not belong to you. She has a past that does not involve you. If you truly love her, you will also love her past, regardless of what it involves, because her past has contributed in making her the person she is now.

    The fact that she has a tattoo and it's enough to make you consider leaving someone you'd otherwise marry is absurd. She didn't violate your trust in any way, shape or form. To you, it's an imperfection, but if you think you're going to find the perfect woman, you need to grow up. There is no such thing as perfection in life, and, sooner or later, you'll realise it's the imperfections that make life interesting and beautiful.
     
  22. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    :bowdown:
     
  23. chunkylover53

    chunkylover53 New Member

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    It's not really about the tattoo per se. He's insecure about her ex because they shared something that he'll never be a part of. 5 years is a long time and he probably doesn't feel too good about the fact that they only broke up b/c of her parents' disapproval. And the tattoo is merely a constant physical reminder of that. It's a bit like your gf hanging on to an ex's old gifts, love letters, pictures, etc.
     
  24. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    Many girls keep old love letters, and there's nothing wrong with that. Just because you aren't with someone anymore doesn't mean that you can't hold onto a cherish the old memories.

    Also, a tattoo is a little harder to get rid of than a love letter or gift.
     
  25. Arsenal4rs

    Arsenal4rs BEES!!! MUTHERFUCKIN BEES!!!

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    Girls arent the only ones to hang on to stuff. Guys do it to; and although they <may> not be as romantic about it, or be willing to admit it, it means jsut as much to them
     

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