SRS Girlfriend going back on smoking for another 5 weeks...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by coughlin's law, Jul 12, 2006.

  1. I won't go into details, but I caught her smoking today, I didn't see her do it but I saw a pack of cigs and a lighter, she had smoked 3. While I am distraught at the thought of her doing it, this isn't the first time she has lied to me about it.

    She lies to me about it to make me happy, but in the end I get hurt. We talked about it after a long fight, and she explained to me that it was more of a social thing. There are 3 other girls in her training class, and one guy. The 3 girls smoke, and my GF does it to fit in -- to get some friends.

    So we wrote up an agreement that she will STOP smoking completely and stick to her word. The message is as follows;

    I promise that after my training, I will quit smoking. I will promise my words to him on this day of 7-11-06, that if I have a cigarette, I will tell him. I will not lie to him about smoking anymore, if he promises to keep this between himself and I.

    Conclusion: She doesn't want her family to know that she still smokes, her grandma has been diagnosed with cancer related to smoking. She came from a workplace where she really didn't interact with co-workers like she does now. I guess some people feel peer pressured to be 'one of the kind' in order to gain acceptance. I think this is shallow, but they are not people I'm trying to gain acceptance from. She is straight out of high school, so there is some naivetivity to her.

    But I think, that after writing this agreement, she is showing that she is indeed serious about smoking. It's taken a while for her to stop, but I believe now she will quit.
     
  2. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Wrote up an agreement? That might work for a week or so, but whether you want to admit it or not, she is definitely going to break that agreement. Do you honestly expect her to tell you everytime she has a cigarette? That's rediculous.

    Fact is, she's gonna do what she wants whether you like it or not, and making up little agreements to try and control her is just going to make her want to do it more. If you get too pushy, you might even drive her away.

    The fact that she's lied to you in the past doesn't really help. I'm guessing it's either you get used to her smoking or see ya later.
     
  3. Kytro

    Kytro I am become death, shatterer of worlds

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    Is that innoculation thing out yet? The one where you can take an injection and quite being addicted for a month.
     
  4. She doesn't smoke a pack a day, and she's not addicted, or has cravings. She is going to quit August 12th... she set a time table, and she is going to quit once and for all. I will admit that I haven't been the best for support, but I'll do what I can this time around.

    Meanwhile this month is gonna suck.
     
  5. erynne936

    erynne936 my av is a car, but i'm a girl. stop calling me b OT Supporter

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    wrote up an agreement? sounds controlling and not like something one would do in a mature relationship. You sound like her father, not her bf. if she wants to quit she will have to decide for herself. and if you can't stand dating someone who smokes then you have a choice to make whether you want to be in the relationship or not.
     
  6. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    I think an written agreement is going kind of far ... she will only quit if SHE wants to. She could easily smoke behind your back if she wants to, as you've obviously realized. I agree completely with erynne936.
     
  7. Jester

    Jester OT Supporter

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    :werd: It's nicotine, not heroin. Living a healthy lifestyle is important, but most people have faults in this area. If she tells her friends about this contract, they will laugh and tell her to get the fuck away from the uber-controlling boyfriend, which is obviously not something you want. Giving her shit about it is one thing, but writing up contracts is something else entirely.
     

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