Girlfriend and Jealousy

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by worth, May 7, 2008.

  1. worth

    worth Active Member

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    So... I can't get over it.

    Whenever she goes out with this particular group of people, I get really jealous. It's one of those groups of people that acts like a big happy "family" where everyone is touchy feely, etc... except they're all horn dogs and try to hook up with each other.

    And there's like two, three guys that like her in this group. And when we fought once she told me after we made up how she was dreaming of cuddling with this one guy that likes her... but only because we were fighting. I don't know what to think of that, I keep trying to get over it but I can't for some reason.

    And that's why I think it always bothers me when she goes out with them. Just the thought that she thought about one of them sexually and this person also likes her, and that they all go drinking together drives me crazy...

    Please tell me if I'm wrong or not, should I just ignore everything and try to get over it? I don't know how to act/think or I would do just that.
     
  2. Redbeard

    Redbeard OT Supporter

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    Be worried, forget her.
     
  3. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    go out with her?





    guys liking her isn't the problem, it's her using that against you that is.
     
  4. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    The real question here is why aren't you out with her when she's drinking with these people? Do you avoid going because you don't like them or does she not invite you because she doesn't want you there?
     
  5. aim2kill

    aim2kill New Member

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    :werd: not cool.


    btw, where from on gulf coast. its where im stationed when not in this shithole. just a random thought:eek4::hsd:
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Ugh, I hate when people are this petty and immature. She's obviously holding that in front of you to try and make you insecure. This isn't good because as others have mentioned if you get in a worse fight this is the exact kind of girl who could do something with one of these guys just to spite you. There was a thread on that exact situation not too long ago but I can't find it.

    And like Midgetized said, why aren't you ever out there with her? Are you not invited outright or do you just not like these people? If you just dont like them then obviously those guys don't give a shit about you or who you are in relation to your gf. Why aren't you ever out there with your gf having a good time?
     
  7. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    in for answer
     
  8. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    :werd:
     
  9. aim2kill

    aim2kill New Member

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    :werd:
     
  10. Xin

    Xin OT Supporter

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    Exactly what I was going to ask.

    If your g/f doesn't invite you out with them, that's a big red flag. If she just went out with a group of girls, it can be different, but since you and she both know there are men that are sexually interested in her in this group, not inviting you out can be a big sign something deeper is underlying here.
     
  11. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    A woman who is worth it, would never put herself into that position to begin with let alone stay in it if it made you uncomfortable. She's not a good catch. Set sail for FAIL
     
  12. skych

    skych New Member

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    usually when a girl doesn't let you come w/ in those types of situations its because she doesn't want you to see how she acts with these people
     
  13. Im Cool

    Im Cool New Member

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    Exactly! Dude, i just bailed out on a girl that always wanted to have girl nights when we made plans previously. The thing is, you really have to take your mind of it when she goes out with these people and if she doesn't want to bring you, something's wrong. My girl tried bringing up the insecure bullshit but when she went out, she'd always go places where some of my best friends worked and they'd always be calling me the next day telling me how she's so scevious, dancing with other guys and sitting there talking to them for like an hour while wasted. It's not fun and i've learned that if you can't trust them, it's not going to EVER work! Nomatter how much you feel like you love her or whatever.
     
  14. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    If your gf says stuff to upset you because you guys are fighting that's one of the biggest red flags I can think of. She sounds incredibly emotionally immature. Honestly I'd dump her if that happens again, even ignoring the rest of the stuff in your post.
     
  15. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    You did the right thing. Breaking plans = low interest AND rudeness.

    Yeah dude you totally did the right thing. :bigthumb:
     
  16. worth

    worth Active Member

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    We're in a long distance relationship if it makes a difference, that's why I'm not out with her.

    Please no LTR hate. :hs:
     
  17. worth

    worth Active Member

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    I don't want to judge her like that because honestly I can be emotionally immature too at times. I can't expect her to be perfect when I'm not, no?

    She's my first real girlfriend, not considering random hook-up buddies. I've never really been into having a long term thing, so I'm not at all experienced in relationships. Same with her.
     
  18. worth

    worth Active Member

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    No. We've been dating for like 2.5 years, and before that it was all random ass.
     
  19. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    that isnt her being immature, thats her being bitchy and controling. shes saying those things to you to make you jealous and insecure about her feelings for you and if she will cheat or not to prevent you from fighting with her next time. its like saying "dont piss me off, or i will go hook up with guy X that i know you dont like"

    so it is a huge red flag, not one to be ignored

    edit: and she wont suddenly mature in the relationship and stop doing crap like that if she gets away with it. she tests the waters, learns you let her go to far and continues to go to far
     
  20. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    LDR's are hard enough when you actually do trust the other person, so for her to say shit like that to you (even if she's just mad) is a bad sign IMO.

    This is the thread I meant to direct you too earlier:
    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=3777877

    I'm not trying to make you feel even more insecure or jealous of her feelings, but I didn't know it was an LDR to boo which really does make a huge difference. If she said something like that again I'd be long over it and end that shit before it only rattles you more.
     
  21. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    If she talks to you that way, she doesn't have her heart in the relationship. If she's telling you she wants to cuddle with some guy who likes her, she thinks of you as her girlfriend or a friendzoned friend, not her boyfriend.
     
  22. Justin636

    Justin636 Active Member

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    This is pretty easy.

    If you do not trust her now, you never will, and your relationship is already over whether you realize it or not. There is nothing more to it than that.

    Chalk it up as a lesson learned and move on. I understand its your first real girlfriend, but the sooner you realize that your relationship is already over, the sooner you can get back to moving on with your life.

    How long have you two been together?
     
  23. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    I've delt with this in an LTR as well.

    I delt with it and got a lot better with jealousy issues, but to be honest, part of what made me able to deal with it better was me subconsiously pushing her away. I always trusted my ex, but nonetheless it still got to me when she went out/hungout with other dudes that liked her.

    I wouldn't even bother talking to her about it to be honest. She'll get pissed and say you are trying to be controlling/overreacting.

    You can go about this a couple of ways:

    1) Dump her and a find a g/f who isn't so much of an attention whore that she needs to surround herself with dudes that like her. This one of the BIGGEST signs of immature woman who shouldn't be in an LTR.

    2) Just put up with it and keep your mouth shut.... If she is really worth it, this might be a good option. However, surpressing all this will drive you nuts internally. This option would be taken as a means to "ride out the wave" until she matures up and realizes that what she is doing isn't particularly healthy for a relationship that is already strained as it is by distance.

    3) Keep doing what you're doing... which won't get you anywhere either.

    - If she's away at school and will be coming back within the next year or so then it might be worth it to just ride it out.... those people will be out of her life then. If you're the one who is away and those other people will remain in her life and she's not showing any signs of maturing then lose her. You're young, no reason to be a long-term, long-distance relationship if the girl is not respecting you.
    Not to mention playing games with "friends" she has dreams about... knowing it gets to you. Fuck that.
     
  24. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    find a way to put her in your shoes
     
  25. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rolleyes: that's mature
     

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