Girl with a kid......good, bad?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by ldaggerl, Mar 8, 2009.

  1. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2009
    Messages:
    924
    Likes Received:
    0
    So I just met this girl, or well I've known her for a while but we just hung out with friends we both knew. Well I just asked her out once and she said yes so we went out and then we just went out the second time. Now I've known she has a kid, didn't really care I mean I'm not the greatest with them because, well I'm 21 it just ain't my time yet. But she cool (she's like 19 I think, had to drop out of school because of the baby and such, but she's going to night school and working and taking care of him ect ect).

    Wondering what I'm getting myself into and what I should do. We went back to her house and chilled on the couch, she had someone watching him but about and hour after we got back (we were very comfortable on the couch) he came back, it was pretty cool with her and her baby. The kid wasn't to bad and was a lot of fun to play with. But what should I do from here, should I just keep seeing her or what. I'm not ready to be in a relationship with her just yet and just haven't dealt with this situation before so I wanted people to give their advice (BTW, please try not to tell me to turn around quick and run the other way too many times. I already have that feeling)
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    At 21, I wouldn't even bother unless it's purely for sex and fun and she knows that. But a 19 year old dropout with a baby? Yeah, the interest will most likely wear fast.
     
  3. Joybang

    Joybang New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2007
    Messages:
    3,553
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    216
    That and the regular "I can't, I have my kid" will get old as shit, very fast.
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    :werd: at 21 you should be living it up, not cancelling plans because the babysitter fell through.
     
  5. Joybang

    Joybang New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2007
    Messages:
    3,553
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    216
    Ouch. I had a friend recently go through this, though he's a little bit older (27). It was kinda hilarious how aggravated he would get when his plans with this chick would fizzle out because of her kids.
     
  6. fray

    fray New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2006
    Messages:
    5,282
    Likes Received:
    0
    This should be a huge red flag you don't ignore.
     
  7. fluentinsilence

    fluentinsilence New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2006
    Messages:
    14,201
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Atlanta
    19 with a kid. Damaged goods.
     
  8. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

    Joined:
    May 29, 2000
    Messages:
    49,189
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    then why are you ignoring it? that feeling is there for a reason...
     
  9. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2004
    Messages:
    50,586
    Likes Received:
    157
    Location:
    Dingoland
    Just be friends and see where it goes. No need to rush anything and no need to make plans for the rest of your life just yet. Single mothers like having friends and just hanging out too you know :)
    :squint: Some people grow up when they fall pregnant. Face the music, do what is best for their child and all that. They can become people you would want in your life even as if just as a friend. Don't judge so quickly.

    People's interests can disappear for many reasons and more often than not it has nothing to do with a child.
     
  10. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2009
    Messages:
    924
    Likes Received:
    0
    All good points, I'll take it under consideration. I wasn't making plans for anything, just never dealt with anything like this before and wondered about it. Thanks again everyone.
     
  11. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2008
    Messages:
    1,816
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    CdM, CA
    yeah...

    if you already have that feeling, you dont need us to tell you anything more
     
  12. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2007
    Messages:
    30,849
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    First post I made in VAG was about the same topic, girl w/ kids.

    I took the advice and since then i've been a MUCH happier person. Less stress, only two people to worry about, instead of 3.
     
  13. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2003
    Messages:
    4,729
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Twin Cities, MN
    Listen to your instincts. Don't "shoplift the pooty" from a single mom...

    Not all guys have what it takes to be in a LTR with a single mother. You need to determine for yourself if you have what it takes or not. Don't take too long to decide before you fall for both the mother and the kid, because after dating a single mother and the relationship doesn't last, then you will have to break up and cut ties with not just 1 person but with 2 people, and the 2nd one is a cute little kid.
     
  14. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2009
    Messages:
    924
    Likes Received:
    0
    I know, I understand all this. I still need time to see what its like. Not looking to hurt anyone and I'm sure she's more worried about her and her baby than me.
     
  15. coldstone

    coldstone New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2008
    Messages:
    12,298
    Likes Received:
    0
    Not all single moms are irresponsible but if she's a single mom at 19 and she's dropped out of school, there's a greater likelihood that she is. You are only 21. Do you really wanna deal with a kid that's not your own if you were to get into a relationship with her? You already said you weren't sure if you were interested in a relationship. If you can play it cool and not get hurt (and not hurt her too), do it. Otherwise, don't.

    If I were in your shoes, I'd stay away because the likelihood of getting hurt is high for both the parties involved.
     
  16. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2005
    Messages:
    7,867
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NJ
    Being a young mother is a result of only a couple things that an absurd amount of people are guilty of:

    -She had sex before marriage
    -She was against getting an abortion (or did not get one for some other reason)

    Though they're so heavily judged. It disappoints me really.

    The few girls that I know relatively well that had children before 20 years old are all such sweethearts. They admit to being irresponsible and decided to own up to it and have the child.

    But everyone considers them trash and not worthy of being given a shot in the dating world.

    "Our" prejudice is only overshadowed by "our" unwillingness to get to know and understand their difficult world. It's easier to judge and get on with life.
     
  17. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2009
    Messages:
    924
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm just going to see where it goes.
     
  18. TwistedMind

    TwistedMind New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2004
    Messages:
    10,608
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm 28 gf is 25 she has a kid we have been together almost a year now. Kids take getting used to, all I can say is I have been left with a raging hard on and nothing but a pillow many times.

    On the other hand when the kids asleep or you know you got a baby sitter on lock down get ready for a night of freaky shit to make up for all the missed opportunities.

    In your position I would probably advise against getting involved emotionally with her. I was looking for somethin to settle me down and it just so happens shes the only chic I have met in 10 ish years that I trust unconditionally.

    Hope this helps in some small way.

    FYI her kid is two, and hearing her say I lub you uber fast and mispronounced puts a smile on my face. To each their own.
     
  19. wolfskymoon

    wolfskymoon Guest

    She might be worth it? becareful though, sometimes women with kids just want a man to help with their burdon, you have to be the judge. Looking at how she decided to keep the kid and works during day time, goes to school at night time, shows that she has a head on her shoulders. Some men look for that all their lives. But relationship wise, i have zero experience so you might want to read what others said.
     
  20. Toxica

    Toxica New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2008
    Messages:
    2,057
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    IN
    To be honest, I doubt she'll have much time to spend with you. You mentioned she goes to school and works, on top of that she is raising a child.

    I'm in almost the same boat as her. I'm 23, single mom (though the dad is still in the picture and he takes care of her too), work, but I don't go to school. I have a hard time trying to manage time to spend with my current boyfriend. I can't imagine going to school on top of everything else I do. I'm just throwing that out there for you to think about. lol
     
  21. TuopaT2008

    TuopaT2008 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2008
    Messages:
    350
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Nevada
    FIXED
     
  22. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2009
    Messages:
    924
    Likes Received:
    0

    Ha ha ha, good point.
     
  23. kaotik1

    kaotik1 New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2008
    Messages:
    3,942
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Albuquerque NM
    what girl doesnt have a kid now days.. its not like shes asking you to be the father of the kid..
     
  24. giz

    giz Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2004
    Messages:
    15,634
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    salt lake
    for her sake, and her child's, don't get yourself involved in something deeper than you originally intend. as long as you are straightforward with what you expect, then go ahead.
     
  25. giz

    giz Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2004
    Messages:
    15,634
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    salt lake
    ironically enough, the one girl I really clicked with tonight revealed she has a 2 year old son. dunno bout this.

    I went through the same thing awhile ago, I ended up canceling lunch plans with that one.
     

Share This Page