SRS Girl-What should I do?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Kerberos, Oct 26, 2005.

  1. Kerberos

    Kerberos New Member

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    There is this girl in my class that I talked to for the first time last week. I also sat next to her today in class. She seems really interested in me and the moment I talked to her a bit she started almost quizzing me. However, the problem is that I don't know if I am interested in her. I would say my interest level is about 50%. She seems like a really nice girl, she's thin and she seems interested in me however she has a bad case of acne which I find somewhat repulsive. I'm willing to give her a chance anyways, I might like her better once I know her better, however I absolutely don't want to lead her on in any way since she seems shy and having low self-confidence. Basically, what should I do?
     
  2. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Um, go on a date, get to know her better? :dunno: Ask her out, silly! You might just like her.

    Acne can clear up, personalities don't usually get better... ;)
     
  3. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Go out, see her in different situations. Do fun stuff, no need to jump into a commitment. Learn to be friends, but be ambiguously charming, so she wonders if you're interested or not. That will a, make you something of an enigma and challenge (things women get off to), and b, keep her from just seeing you as a friend so you avoid the friends zone trap.

    And while you do this, you'll gain time and opportunity to see if yuo work with her.
     
  4. Fred91GTA

    Fred91GTA New Member

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    Yeah. go out with her like above. And Acne isn't a serious problem. Any good medication will clear that up. But if you let her go just because of the Acne, you could be passing up a really wonderful person.

    Which would you rather have? The hot cheating psycho bitch?
    Or the semi-attractive nice girl with Acne?

    BTW, not to hijack the post, but GlassUser, care to elaborate more on being ambiguously charming? How about some examples?
     
  5. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    GlassUser has it right. You're in an ideal position to date her without being overzealous and chasing her away. Acne clears up. The only real purpose of dating is to find your future mate, your wife. Is she going to have acne her entire life? I doubt it. And even if she were to, I'd much rather have a wife with acne and a great personality than a hottie who was an absolute bitch.
     
  6. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Every hottie I dated ended up cheating on me. It's just not worth it. One of them gave me an STD and then denied it! Bitch! :madfawk:
     
  7. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    It's pretty much on topic. I guess if I had to give it a brand name, I'd say "gentleman plus". Open doors for her, order for her if you go out (just make sure she's already told you what she's having), stuff like that. Do NOT let yourself think that because you're doing boyfriend-like things with her you are her boyfriend. And occasionally drop something that makes it clear you know this (something about being single, not dating right now, etc). This may be tough to pull off, so don't force it.

    Work on your charming smile; a little smirk out of the corner of your mouth with a glint in your eye will soak her panties (at least if you do it right). If you hear music you like, dance with her for no reason (something like ballroom dancing, not this 60s high school no-touching bs), grab her hand and lead her over somewhere if you see something interesting and/or get an urge to go over somewhere.

    Basically, do a lot of near-boyfriend-like things, but never think (and never let her think that you think) that she's your girlfriend just because of it.
     
  8. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Um, no. Okay, I agree that he should not jump to a commitment, but what is this crap about making her wonder if you are interested or not? Isn't that the same stuff that got you struck being "just buddies" with the Object of Your Affection for 3 whole years? Isn't that what got you to come to the Asylum asking for advice? No. He does not need to play games, and doing so will get him stuck in the FriendZone.

    To the OP, if you are interested in her, then ask her out. When you do ask her out, don't do it in a wussy half assed way either, such as "Hey, can I take you out sometime?" If you are going to ask a girl out right, have a plan already in mind with a specific place and time and don't let her leave without an answer or a confirmed time to pick her up. Also, have a back up plan in mind as well, in case she is busy on a particular day, then offer your counter offer date. If that doesn't work, you got your answer.

    If you play the friend card then you have no one to blame but yourself for wasting weeks even months of your time being "just pals" when she ultimately tells you that she sees you as just friends. Do it soon. Quit wasting time.

    Go read my Guide to Dating posted in this forum.
     
  9. Fred91GTA

    Fred91GTA New Member

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    Beware though. It's not just hotties who are cheating psycho bitches. My ex-gf wasn't exactly hot. In fact, she wasn't that good looking... just "cute." And somehow, she turned into a cheating slut as well. Probably comes from low self esteem or lack of self respect... I dunno... I'm still learning my womanese... :dunno:
     
  10. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    I agree *except* for the backup plan. Personally, I think that it's better to see if SHE counter offers. This shows if she is really interested in you. It also shows you are NOT desperate to be with her - which is very attractive. It shows self-confidence.

    Example - she's NOT interested:
    Him: Let's go to coffee at Starbucks Wednesday at 7:30
    Her: Sorry, I can't make it. I have plans.
    Him: (Pauses. Waits for counter offer. No? Okay then...) Oh, well I am sorry to hear that. Well, maybe some other time. I'll talk to you later, have a really nice night! <Click>
    [She is not interested enough to figure out a way to see you. Toss her number.]

    Example - she's IS interested:
    Him: Let's go to coffee at Starbucks Wednesday at 7:30
    Her: Sorry, I can't make it. I have plans. But, I am going to be free the next day. Can we do it Thursday at 6:30?
    Him: Sure! I'll (pick you up/meet you there) at 6:30.
    [Doh! She likes you! She is telling you when she is free! A woman speaks with ACTIONS - she is telling you "I want to be with you, but this is the only time I can!"]

    Also, avoid Fridays and Saturdays for first dates. Too much pressure. Shoot for a Monday-Thursday afternoon or evening instead. ;)
     
  11. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Poco, I will have to stand by what I said. It is not like it is costing you anything to counter offer, and I prefer a guy to be the one calling the shots. If she says she is busy, take control and offer a follow up. If that doesn't work, you only wasted 5 seconds, but at least your answer is definite. Plus, she could always counter offer your counter offer if she sees that you are willing to work with her.
     
  12. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Well, I see your point of view, I just mentioned my point of view as an indicator of her interest level, that's all. I think both ways could work, but your way *might* make a guy come off sounding desperate. Besides, you can't guess her schedule without some feedback, so really SHE is calling the shots. It just sounds too much like this to me (hey, I've even done this before! :eek3: ):

    Him: Wanna go to starbucks tuesday at 8:00
    Her: No, I can't - sorry. I have plans.
    Him: Oh, okay. Well, how about Wednesday then?
    Her: Um, no, sorry I have plans then too.
    Him: Gee, how about Thursday, are you free anytime Thursday?
    Her: No, really, I'm very busy, I don't think I will have any time this week.
    Him: Oh, then you're free next week?
    Her: No. You know what? I'll call *you* when I am free, okay? I gotta go, bye.

    For her to offer up a time, to me, says "I'm going to make this easy for him because I like him and want to hang out with him." To not offer up a free time says to me "Maybe if I keep telling him I am busy he'll get the clue and leave me alone."

    Personally, I never got the clue. Doh. I was an idiot about that kind of stuff.
     
  13. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    I think one counter offer is enough. haha, not 3.
     
  14. Kerberos

    Kerberos New Member

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    My interest level keeps going down for this girl: she always wears the same clothes, looks like she has greasy hair etc. That coupled with the acne makes me question her hygiene. I think I'll pass.
     
  15. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Well, if you're not interested, you're not interested. Simple as that.

    My guess though is that her bad acne has contributed or caused a very low self-esteem, which in turn results in the poor personal grooming (greasy, unkempt hair) and the disinterest in dressing well. Notice I did not say being a fashion fiend, just dressing well.

    It's a shame people can't look beyond the outer to the inner.

    Hair, clothes, acne, all easily fixable with a little effort. Just look at Vay on this board.

    He went from being a troll (sorry) to having more girls on him than he can handle.

    Anyways, hopefully she'll take care of her acne soon. Wouldn't it be ironic if, after that, she lost interest in you as she now considers herself too hot and can get better?
     
  16. Kerberos

    Kerberos New Member

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    I actually thought this out quite thoroughly. First of all, I know this makes me superficial, but I would be ashamed to show her to my friends and I'm not even picky. And even if she had no acne and was clean, she would have below average appearance. However, at the time, I decided to look at things disregarding that since she seems nice and has a hot body. However, I just can't see myself with her longterm and I know that even when I'd be with her I'd check out for other girls. Probably the only reason that I even considered her is that I am somewhat desperate. However, I feel that it would be cruel for me go out with a girl that I'm not at all attracted to. Also, she does have other guys who I saw show interest in her but she seems to have a crush on me. I think it would be best for me to not show any interest at all and go down the friend route mostly because her friend also seems interested in me and is quite cute and I don't want to lead her on since I know how much that hurts.

    Side note, minor update on other girl: the girl that I was bitching about before that rejected me after leading me on for a few months, this week told me that she was really happy that she had stayed with me to do an assignment two weeks ago because it helped me with the exam. Also, today she asked me to be in her group for a project. Of course I declined and formed another group with some friends. She's been going out of her way since the beginning of the semester to talk to me all the time. Plus, whenever she can't sit next to me she turns around and smiles at me all class. Either she's begging for my attention or wants to use me to do her work since I am the best of the program and have a 4.0 GPA. Either way, I'm over her and am glad that she is currently gaining weight.:mamoru: She's always come across as an attention whore anyways.
     
  17. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Yep, that bitch is wanting you back to being one of her admirers that she can use to feed her ego and whatever else you are willing to do. Blow her off.
     

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