(copy and pasted from what i wrote to one of our friends basically i'm insanely in love with this girl, but she doesn't love me back. i wrote the girl a note saying how i felt about her. my friend asked me what i said in the note and i said this) I told her that i loved looking at her with a weird face or doing something crazy with my eyes just so that i could see her smile. i didn't tell her this, but i loved the rare oppurtunity that i was able to look her right in the eyes for a few seconds and just smile. of course she would look away and say to stop, but it still felt so good while it lasted. at prom, even just sitting there with her was amazing. she looked SO good. everytime i looked at her i couldn't believe i was there with her even if we were just there as friends. i wish i could have had her lay her head on my shoulders on the way home in limo or sit next to me during the movie, but even though that didn't happen, just being with her was an excellent substitution. again, i'm going off saying stuff that's just going to end up hurting me even more, but i can't keep it in anymore. obviously when i told her stuff like this is weirded the hell out of her. so much so that she couldn't even look me in the eyes during lunch and i guess it was hard for her to even sit next to me. she didn't talk to me or look at me after lunch. she walked the opposite direction to one of her classes to avoid me walking with her, so i didn't try to follow her and just went to my class. you don't know how much that hurt. all the hurt is because i told her how i feel about her. just like i wish i could go back in time to go through another prom night with kristina, i wish i could go back and not tell her how i felt. ok, now that i'm on the verge of tears (yes, quite gay. i know) i'm gonna go ahead and stop writing about this and hopefully i'll be able to stop thinking about it for a little while. it's just really hard to stop thinking about someone who you have such strong feelings for i guess.