girl torn between two guys

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by smitty06, May 28, 2006.

  1. smitty06

    smitty06 New Member

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    ok so bacially i been hanging out with this girl i like, we have made out and are both into one another however she wont get serious because she is still into her ex and cant get over him. I have told her that if she wont get serious with me ill just leave but when i tell her that she gets all emo and it makes me feel bad when she talks about needing me in her life. should i lay down an ultimatum and make her choose or should i just move on or should i just stick it out. i feel like im wasting my time by sticking around because i have a gut feeling that she wont ever get serious (the whole good guy image/ frendship zone). also is it wrong for me to push her like this? the way i see it at some point she is going to have to get over one of us because we cant stick around forever. btw her ex wants nothing to do with her other than sex so the relationship means nothing to him.
     
  2. notsousual

    notsousual New Member

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    She's still having sex with her ex?? Oh crap, run boy. She is so far from being ready for a relationship it isn't funny. Until she cuts off all those old feelings/routines with her ex, she will never be ready, and by getting involved right now you're just asking to me trampled on.
     
  3. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    If their breakup was recent, you can't expect her to be over him so soon.
     
  4. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

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    haha werd!!

    If she's still having SEX with him she is a LONG LONG LONG LONG LONG..LONG... time from being over him. You're an emotional string that will be gone once she's over her ex as well.
     
  5. BedBunny

    BedBunny Guest

    :rolleyes:


    give her an ultimatum unless you want to be two timed forever.
     
  6. smitty06

    smitty06 New Member

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    no no no sorry. they dont have sex but they do spend quite a bit of time together. they broke up back in january and they didnt talk for like 3 months but then they started hanging out again. basically she tells me that she wants to get serious but she is afraid of losing him (the ex). my response is that there can not be anything special about him if he would use her and treat her like shit and that she needs to move on because the good ol' days of their relationship is over. btw if you cant tell this girl clings to her past and doesnt let somethings go. i also dont think she can expect to hang on to us both
     
    Last edited: May 29, 2006
  7. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

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    run.
     
  8. notsousual

    notsousual New Member

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    Well that still only changes the situation slightly. She isn't over him, plain and simple. And if you get involved with her it isn't going to work out, and you will just end up hurt. There are 5,000 ways that things could go, but they will all end with it not working, and you getting hurt. You need to wait with this girl, fade out of her life, and let her get her shit in gear before you do anything with her romantically...dont get involved. I know it's the hardest thing ever, when you feel something you just wanna go and have fun...but seriously, wait with this one. For your sake.
     
  9. smitty06

    smitty06 New Member

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    that is exactly what i was thinking, i try to stay away but she always ends up pulling me back in. her ex is going off to the military so hopefully that will help her get over him but who knows.
     
  10. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    just tell her it's him or you and that's it.
     
  11. notsousual

    notsousual New Member

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    She needs to get over him on her own. Distance will do nothing. She could have to be around him 7 days a week and get over him if she wanted (it's hard as hell, but it can be done). Even after he's gone if she's not past that chapter in her life she'll always be thinking of him, she'll be missing him, she'll be wrapped up in him in a way that isn't acceptable in a relationship. And you'll have no idea what is going through her mind so you'll be none the wiser...but you'll get fucked over in the end. Trust me, this is coming from a girl who understands where this chick is completely, as it used to be me, you need to wait this one out. And if she's that amazing, and it's really worth it and meant to be, it will happen. But you just have to wait.
     
  12. smitty06

    smitty06 New Member

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    thanks for the advice, to me this girl is worth it so ill just try to fade out and give her time. the only thing that scares me about it is them getting back together and her forgetting me but if thats they way it works out i just have to hope her the best and hope she is happy and move on. thanks a bunch for the advice, i really needed to get this off my chest.
     
  13. notsousual

    notsousual New Member

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    No problem. And if that does happen...then you two weren't meant to be anyway, and you'll be hurting SO much less not having your heart being open and involved in the whole mess
     
  14. armond

    armond New Member

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    Get away from this situation, you do not need to be a stepping stone for her getting over her ex...
     
  15. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    You sound like the typical "rebound guy" to me....
     
  16. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    I think you should start seeing other girls. Maybe a little jealousy will wake her up. If it doesn't, move on. :dunno:
     
  17. LongDongWong

    LongDongWong U can call me Mr.Wong

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    how do you know when a girl is still stuck on her ex or when shes completely over him and just wants to be friends?
     
  18. smitty06

    smitty06 New Member

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    id like to know this too because says they are just friends (which i believe) but she also says that she cant get over him. about the jelousy thing, that does work but its not something i want to do.
     
  19. JustaMeThang

    JustaMeThang New Member

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    She's doesnt want you.

    She wants him.

    Now, go find yourself someone who is able to devote the time and attention you requirement.
     
  20. PeterGrave5

    PeterGrave5 New Member

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    you are in the same role of the guy who i'm plotting to kill, "rebound guy"...good job on being a weasel and sniping into a girls life at a weak point in her relationship, you must be a dead eye in knowing when to step in to cause the most damage...you deserve everything that happens to you...

    i bet they are sleeping together behind your back, i was with my ex for months even when she started fooling around with some spineless "friend", you care and listen and make her feel appriecated but she needs way more than that, and you seem like your not packing any. good luck buddy....chief, pal.
     
  21. Cuidado

    Cuidado New Member

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    fucking dot. :hsugh:
     
  22. smitty06

    smitty06 New Member

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    i know i was put in a rebound situation and ive never been in it before so i dont know what im doing. its not like i waited until she was weak before i came into her life it just worked out that way because SHE asked me to go out on our first 'date' i knew her situtation and didnt want to get involved but she seemed ok so i went for it. anyway just to update im starting to move on and letting go but it is tough
     
  23. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    The TWO of these guys are suckers. She's got two guys throwing all this attention at her and she does not have to commit to either of them. She admits she's fucking the other guy and you're being a pussy and letting her get away with it.

    Imagine if she were your girlfriend and she said "Hey, I'm fucking some other guy." Would you tolerate it? (Apprently, yes, because you're acting like a fucking pussy bitch.) I sure as shit would not.

    You tell her POLITELY "Hey, you know, I'm tired of waiting around for you. Best wishes with your ex." and walk. You know what is going to happen? She's going to come chasing after you because all the sudden you're a challenge, you are NOT being a pussy, you are acting like a mature adult. And you put your foot down and told her "No." in a respectable way.

    You need to get some fucking self respect and confidence. Women look for strong men, and you will have to PROVE it by demonstrating you can act independantly of your dick.

    Get up and walk away, so to speak, and she'll be all over you.

    Go read this article I wrote:

    http://www.friendzoned.com/forums/showthread.php?t=120

    Yes, the whole thing, because it's the end that explains what you need to do.
     
  24. bobbarker70

    bobbarker70 New Member

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    this is EXACTLY what's happening with me and my gf(well ex)....cept im the one who "doesnt care" but i actually do, i just broke up with her BECAUSE she cant let go of that friend guy even though she knows he only wants a sexual relationship, not just a friendship. and it kills me.

    i'm beginning to wonder if ur name is brandon lol.
     
  25. LongDongWong

    LongDongWong U can call me Mr.Wong

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    by telling her all this, dont you think she'll come to the conclusion .......

    -the other guy is willing to stand by and wait for her while she's with you and since he's willing to wait then he truely loves her....

    -then you tell her the above and she takes it as your not willing to wait until she makes up her mind therefore you dont feel that she's worth the wait and obviously dont love her as much as the other guy?

    just wanna throw that out there....
     

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