Girl Problem/Long Distance Relationship

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by DweeLer, Sep 1, 2005.

  1. DweeLer

    DweeLer New Member

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    Ok, so here is my problem. About 7-8 months ago, i started going out with this girl i really sweated for like 3 years. took some balls to talk n shit to her, but i got her to end up going out with me. Now i seriously think she is the one for me, and i know its crazy to talk about so early in my life (i'm 18, just graduated HS, a college freshman) but i know she is. We love eachother tons and when she moved away to austin (i live in mesquite, bout 4 hours away, not really "long distance") it was really hard for me to adjust to her not being here. We decided to "take a break" as we call it, so both her and I could date other people. Well i talked about this with her and i thought it was an incredibly stupid idea because we love eachother. Her excuse for wanting to "take a break" is because i was her first boyfriend and she wants no regrets when she's married about not dating other guys, kinda making sure i'm the one. So she just joined a sorority at UT yesterday, and hangs out with the girls in there. She talks about me to them all the time and they all wanna meet me because i am "the sweetest guy they have ever heard of" and what not. Is it wrong to feel the way i am about this being stupid and me and her be together? should i get all jealous n shit when she's watching 'punk'd' at a fraternity house (the reason for the post)? should i worry about her finding another guy and him trating her like shit, but still making her think he is better for her? Seriously help please. :dunno:
     
  2. rkf76

    rkf76 New Member

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    I live by the motto "don't worry about things which you have no control over"

    You're young, she's young, just live life bro, it's way too early to be worried about chics in this manner, especially considering the fact that you're both in college. Live your life in college, enjoy it to the fullest, if she's a part of that, great. If not, you'll still have had your fun and enjoyed what will end up as one of the most memorable times in your life.
     
  3. DweeLer

    DweeLer New Member

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    i can't really do much, i go to ao Jr College, so i can't even move out till i get enough money which will be in a couple of years. So while i'm working my ass off to get into a real college, she'll be forgetting about me. Thats what i absolutely fear. Doing all this work for someone who in the end wont appreciate it. I seriously am 100% sure she is the one. Its just tough knowing that other guys will be trying to get with her just to have sex with her. not caring about her feeling or how she acts at all.
     
  4. rkf76

    rkf76 New Member

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    again, it's a situation you have no control over. And if you were so sure she's "the one" then you'd be secure with the fact that you know no matter how many guys get at her, she's not gonna give them the time of day because she's "the one". I don't sense that. Your lives are seperate now, unless you can trust her 100% and believe her when she tells you she's just "watching TV" at the guys' frat house, there is no future in this relationship. That's the sad reality. Cause if you doubt what she tells you as being the truth, you may be able to put off your feelings of doubt for a while, but it'll come back to bite you in the ass. Mark my words.
     
  5. ndnxtc

    ndnxtc New Member

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    What HS did you go to? I'm from Mesquite too :run:
     
  6. DweeLer

    DweeLer New Member

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    North Mesquite
     
  7. RockChick

    RockChick New Member

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    there is only one way to male LDR work: trust

    ask me... guy in canada, myself in germany (well lately myself in canada an awful lot ;) )... anyway, the magic word is trust. if you dont believe what she says, if you cant sleep at night cos you dunno what she is doing... then i dont really see a future for you guys.

    how does she feel about you?
     
  8. quid

    quid I Piss Excellence OT Supporter

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    no your not. if you were, this post wouldnt be here, and there would be no problem. 4 hours is a long way away, and its not fair to you to work her into your schedule if she wont do the same.

    as long as your on a break you may as well use it to your benefit as well. im almost certain that living in california, the girl thats right for me doesnt live in new york. odds are she lives in a place thats accessable to me. give it a try, dont be afraid to lose this girl, and more importantly dont let yourself miss out on something that could be, because of her.


    most importantly, dont kid yourself, you have to live on the same planet earth as everyone else.
     
  9. [HRT]Squirrel Master

    [HRT]Squirrel Master New Member

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    there are 6.3 Billion people in the world and you think somehow this is the only woman for you? I had to realize that this summer. My LDR is 9 hours away for another month (going on 4) when she comes home.... get over it.
     
  10. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    All good advice here.

    If she was the one, she'd not want to take a break for fear of "having regrets once she's married". That's a poor excuse at best. The only regret she should have is putting you or future boyfriends through the stress of being cast aside to "make sure that a certain person is the one". If that person was, then there would be no reason for a break. Once you find the one there is no reason to worry, or break it off for any reason.

    In short, move on, she's not the one.
     
  11. faaaancy

    faaaancy Guest

    I was in the same situation last summer. My boyfriend and I live in ny and I was going to college in boston. We decided to stay together and it was a little hard, but I don't regret it. I feel the same way about him that you do about your girlfriend; if you feel like it's love, you can't just dismiss it because other people tell you that you're too young to get so involved with someone. She might be scared about, sort of, wasting her youth, not being able to see other guys. I think you should try to talk to her and tell her how you feel. She might feel the same way, but other people really do pressure you to leave for college without ties to home. Everyone told me I should break up with my boyfriend before I left. It was bad advice. If she keeps talking about you like that to her sorority sisters, it sounds like she still really likes you. Try to talk to her.
     
  12. sixpercent

    sixpercent Active Member

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    Im currently in a long distance relationship, much longer than yours. About 1300miles away.

    We have not been apart longer than we have been together (we used to live in the same town together for 8 months). Its been a year and a month apart now and ive seen her 4 times. My last was a 14 day visit which was amazing, but hard at the same time. We fight all the time, im a super jelous guy so im always concerned and over reacting about what goes on. But she loves me and i know that. She talks about wanting to be with me forever and having my kids and all those kinds of things. She is moving back to where i live in about 10 months now, and thats how much longer we have to wait before we can start a life together.

    Anywayz.. when i was on this past trip with her she dropped the bomb on me.. "sometimes i think that i need other experience, its crazy to think about being with the same person for the rest of my life" (Im here first real relationship, as well as the guy she lost her virginity too) Needless to say i was worried and a little choked, i didnt know what to think, even though its what ive thought all along. When is she gunna want to experiment with other guys, other relationships, shes only 17 for christ sakes (im 19 btw and this is my 3rd serious relationship) . So newayz we went on talking and she said things to me like "i just wanted to tell you my feelings" "i dont want to be with other guys, its just that i was thinking about it" "right now all i can think about is being with you forever".

    I believe and appreciate her statements but i still have that gut doubt about how long this will last. Honestly i would absolutely love to spend the rest of my life with this girl, i love her more than anything and i would be contempt being with her everyday. But i dont want there to be this lingering jinx over our heads about her being sexualy and emotionaly inexperienced in relationships. So ive thought to myself time and time again about whether or not it would be a good idea to take a break. Let her try things out and then come back together again. Hell im young too, i would love to live the random hook ups/club life and things like that. But i wouldnt if i had to because shes worth it.

    Its actually been a long time dream of mine to spend some time in japan, either teaching english or just visiting for a month or two (ive got quite a few friends there) and we've talked about taking a break when i go over there. She knows i want to "fully" experience tokyo life, and girls. And shes willing to let me do what i want. At the same time im sure she might do her own thing, or maybe she wont, thats her choice. Either way we dont plan on breaking apart forever, or ever for much of a long time at all.

    Moral of the story is, breaks dont exactly mean she doesnt love you, or that you guys are doomed. And other experiences dont mean that either. Its just that your both young and inexperienced and need to live your life to the fullest right now, and not hinder what you want to do because of eachother. If she truly does love you, but still wants to experiment, she'll come back to you in the end.

    The corny way to sum this up is "if you love something let it go, if it comes back to you, its yours forever, if it doesnt, it never was"
     
  13. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    I think you know what this really means. Question is. Are you going got be able to overlook it once she is done playing the field and wants to come back? Im not saying she will necessarely come back. But If you cant get over it, no sense in waiting to see if things will even work out.
     
  14. Askesis

    Askesis New Member

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    She wants to fuck other guys.

    It's tough to hear, but it's the truth. Long distance relationships CAN work, but they usually don't.

    Myself, I can't handle a long distance relationship. I tried once, but it just didn't ork out.
     

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