FRK Girl-problem, FS-style v. first real post here

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by eighteen_psi, Jul 4, 2006.

  1. eighteen_psi

    eighteen_psi Active Member

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    OK FS, I hate 'girl problem' threads but this one has a freaky twist to it. I'll try to keep it brief and to the point so perhaps it won't get locked, moved, or get me banned for life :rofl:

    I met her for a couple dates...just this weekend. First time I've ever met her (though I know OF her from around town, school, etc., from some years ago…which makes this even tougher). Long story short, the first breakfast-date we went on there were a few subtle hints dropped about her um...inclinations. Mostly joking, mostly ignorable. But its since been clearly determined she is a bit of a freak...she outright told me she couldn't handle a purely vanilla relationship and went into more detail than I was frankly comfortable with after like..a date :eek4: I usually take things slow (so I did what I could to get things back where I was comfortable), but she wouldn't have any part of it and kept hammering away with damn direct conversation. I’m no uberfreak, but I’m inclined and curious (or I wouldn’t spend so much time here).

    So look...I'm falling hard and fast for any number of reasons – she hits tons of my vanilla ideals, plus this ability to explore things I hardly dared consider. But today we hung out all afternoon and damned if I didn't completely hide from the hints again. :sadwavey: On top of that, I’ve lost the general confidence that’s been my meal ticket recently – she’s vastly more experienced all around, and certainly more in touch with her needs and desires, let alone kinks. Now I'm afraid I'm going to lose whatever chance I had, as she's starting to get more distant. We're into each other but I'm going to get friendzoned because I don't have the balls to pipe up and reciprocate her interests, whether they lead anywhere or not.

    Is there a middle ground here that I don’t see? Should I flat break out my fantasies and kinks to match hers? Should I run and hide? Frankly this scares the hell out of me :noes: Ideas?

    (ibshitthreadlockandban)

    :wtc: I feel like some idiot high school kid :weak:
     
  2. beautiful disaster

    beautiful disaster OT Supporter

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    give it a try. you might enjoy it :eek5:

    if not, then she's not for you if she isn't willing to go at your pace
     
  3. CrudeGT

    CrudeGT New Member

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    There's nothing wrong with saying "That's cool, but it's never interested me..."

    at the same time, there's nothing wrong with saying "that sounds really interesting. I'd like to try that."

    sounds like being straight up is gonna be the best way to go at this one. let us know how it goes.
     
  4. Run N. Gun

    Run N. Gun Active Member

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    Have an open and honest conversation with her. Tell her how it made you feel when she shared her freaky side with you. If you really like her, then tell her that you'd like to experience all of that with her. Then tell her your fantasies and see how she responds. You already know she has the confidence to become vulnerable with you, now it's your turn to be vulnerable with her.

    Give it a shot, you have nothing to lose...except your inhibitions. Good luck!
     
  5. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    it seems like she's opened up and told you a lot, communicated clearly her wants needs and desires, you should reciprocate and tell her yours (if you are comfy). I believe her distancing herself is now becuas you haven't exposed your desires and kinks and she's been left out inthe open, vulnerable. Keep talking, open up to her and see what happens. Take the ACTONS slow, but get all the history and ideas out inthe open so you oth know what course to plot next. This has the makings of a fun and rewarding 'relationship' or some great freaky sex.

    You never know what may happen, she may be the one you have been waiting for....
     
  6. Acesn8s

    Acesn8s The Deadman's Hand

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    I think if she's being this blunt and forward about her fantasies/wants/needs, then these are things that she's decided that she most definately requires in her next relationship. She doesn't want to waste time with someone who won't work with her.

    If you're interested, tell her. If you don't think you can hang with her, tell her and let her decide.

    Have this conversation in a neutral place, like a living room. Don't bring it up while or after being intimate.

    Mention that she makes you feel nervous like a high school boy, and that it's a good thing, it might excite her.

    If she likes you and you're willing to learn I bet she'll love to introduce you to a whole bunch of things.
     
  7. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    you need to open up as much as she did. this does not mean "make up shit" just communicate on the same level.
     
  8. Broken5hift

    Broken5hift New Member

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    if your not comfortable with it your not gonna enjoy it. so either your gonna become uberfreak-n-dabed or running out of her room screaming half naked, maybe bleeding or gagged.

    she if she's into posting her pics on forums........ for education purposes :kdubb:
     
  9. BaneBoi

    BaneBoi ƒł٤şħ Ąđđίçŧ

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    Some great advice already.

    Kudos for being able to take a step back and look in on yourself here. Go with your gut and dont let your ego get in the way (dont let her experience bother you). If you really think you could have a thing for this girl, go for it. Tell her the truth about how you feel. If she is willing to take it slow and let you feel things out (pun intended), neither of you have anything to loose. If it grows, it grows, if not, at least you both had some fun, right?
     
  10. eighteen_psi

    eighteen_psi Active Member

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    I have no doubt I’ll enjoy it :hs: That’s the problem – though it really shouldn’t be. I guess I’m worried about what kind of person it makes me, engaging in such activities actively…or more accurately, admitting to myself that I might get off on them. Ingrained barriers FTL?

    :werd:

    No doubt – I’m just having a hell of a time getting my head around things. I mean it sounds ridiculous when she’s the one hammering away but hell, I’m afraid of what she might think – I’ve never done anything remotely non-vanilla with anyone other than myself before and that sorta creeps me out. I mean everyone starts somewhere...but meh. :ugh:

    Good calls all around. No way I can hang with her…but that may be something of interest to her. I think the nervous angle is exactly what I’m going to take since its completely honest and hopefully explains my lack of apparent interest before. And yeah, its going to have to be somewhere neutral or I’ll never do it :hs:.

    Introspection is something I’ve become good at…I guess I can add this to my list of personal challenges that needs to be met head-on. Logic says there’s no way she’ll be freaked out by anything I could even dream up, much less things I’ve actually thought through on my own…but the fear’s still there. Part of me hopes I already waited too long and lost my shot. The rest of me says that part is ridiculous, and that even if its true, this thing is worth fighting for. Nothing good ever came easy, right?

    The fact that she's not running full speed in the other direction already says *something* at least. And its frankly quite flattering :wiggle:

    So you’ve convinced me to give it a shot…curiosity wins :coolugh:
     
  11. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    I think you're thinking a little too much... but that's a good thing not bad.
    Eventually you will have to come to grips with "what kind of person you are" What you do in the bedroom, unless it's Completely detrimental, insane and nonconsetual to another person( or in some cases of MPD or schitzo) yourself, then it doesn't make you anything but a person open to exploration of non-traditional sexaul ideas/values/roles. It doesn't make you good or bad or purple or something. It's just you tried/enjoy/didn't enjoy different things.

    Will it mean you abandon all things vanilla for a life of So-called Strange erotic tendencies? no.
    it will mean you have at least tried something new and maybe learned a few things or met a few people and made new friends along the way that you may not have come across staying ina closed, safe vanilla bubble. that's life. One Set of possibly strange choices after another.

    Don't let your sexual life be all consuming. think of the other aspects of where this open thought process my lead you. You may have a more open level of communication, you may learn more about the world and yourself than you ever might have through your own introspections may have taken you. And don't ever knock your being vanilla. as you said we all started somewhere. At 16 i never thought i'd EVER catch myself in thong underwear, taking it up the ass and loving every spanking i have gotten....... but now i do. And I had a bit of a time wresting with "what kind of deviant fuck up does this make me?" then i looked at the rest of my life and realized that I wasn't hurting anyone, my schooling and job never suffered, my general outlook was positive and I was a stronger, more worldly person for experiencing something others my have found fearful and conquering it.

    So take the dive or not. i think you've made up your mind.

    :hug: good luck and happy humping!
     
  12. eighteen_psi

    eighteen_psi Active Member

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    :bowhs:

    We'll see how things go.
     
  13. awlewis

    awlewis New Member

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    friend zone is for panzies. Get your confidence up bro. If you can handle a car pushing 18 psi in tha bay then you can handle this girl.
     

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