SRS Girl..Pregnant

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by uptown josh, Apr 1, 2008.

  1. uptown josh

    uptown josh Active Member

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    Girl..Pregnant UPDATE

    I just needed some advice. I've worked with this girl for about 2 years. We were always pretty good friends. She was engaged. I started having sex with her about a year ago. Said girl gets pregnant.. It's pretty much a 50/50% toss up on whose baby it is. The girl breaks up with her fiance and I am with her about 5-6 months. She was having a pretty hard time dealing with her being pregnant and leaving her bf of 5 years... When I was with her she asked me to be at the hospital during the birth and if I would help her if I could afterwards. I told her i would do what i can and of course I would come up to the hospital, afterall the kid could be mine. Well after all of this she is back with her ex-fiance. He does not want me at the hospital and i tmay not be a good idea if i do. Neither her or him want a paternity test now. I do want one to see if she is mine. I would like to be a part of her life if she is. Her and her fiance think that would hurt them too bad to let her do this. They whoever agree I do have that right they just don't want me too. So advice... should I get a lawyer now and get a paternity test AT the hospital if possible?? I would also like my last name on the birth certificate. Or should I wait until the baby is born and try to settle this? This is the first time I've dealt with any of this. :hsugh: It's a very messy situation. The reason he wants to keep it so hush hush is family knows nothing of it. :ugh: So OT? any advice?
    UPDATE:
    Well I found out today she actually had the baby last thursday 4/3/08. She didn't even have the decency to tell me. I am BEYOND mad. I called her phone and her bf answers. He asked me why I was calling. I said I wanted to see about the baby. He said it was none of my business and to never call this number again or there would be consequences. I told him to fuck off. He hung up.
    2nd Update:
    Her BF called the cops. The deputy called me and said that he said I was harassing him but he declined to press charges at this time. I'll admit I definately lost my temper when he told me it was none of my business. The deputy told me there was not much to do. She told me I might want to call and apologize and try to reason with them. But I'm not so sure that is going to work. I'm going to DHS tomorrow morning to get the subpoena rolling. Such a messy situation.
     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2008
  2. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    Well, first off, congrats on getting yourself in a sticky situation. You shouldn't of had been sleeping with her -- especially -- because she's engaged to someone.

    But all said and done, you're in the situation you're in. What you should probably do if she doesn't want to get a paternity test is in fact get an attorney. The paternity test can be done before or after the baby is born. (OMG, technologiz!)

    One of the reasons why you want to do it before hand is because the other potential father can just sign the birth certificate and he will have legal rights to the child and NOT you. Yes, you can also fight this in court.

    You have the parental right to see your child, and for this, you will have to go to courts especially if they're going to fight you every step of the way.

    But you should think about a few questions:

    Will you be able to actually help provide for this child?
    Will you be able to help pay that child support?
    How are you financially?



    The paternity test might hurt the finance but in all honesty, you all need to know. You all have the right to know who's child it is and she can believe all she wants that it is her fiance's but she doesn't know herself.

    So yes, get yourself a good attorney.
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    My advice?

    Don't fuck a married woman or a woman getting married.
     
  4. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    if i was the fiance you wouldn't be breathing anymore. count your blessings and move on:)
     
  5. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    Congrats on stepping up to find out if the kid is yours. I had a scare and waited 2 years before i even saw the kid... one look and i knew it wasnt. thank god.

    If I were you I would get a lawyer, or just ask them to agree to let you get a paternity test. being at the birth, well, thats really a personal decision.... how important is it to you? you i wouldnt want to be in the room anyway, so just make your way to the hospital afterwards.
     
  6. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    If i were that other guy, I'd have you get a paternity test, make you pay child support if it was yours, and not let you have anything to do with MY wife...

    Anyways...go in assuming worst case scenario. The kid could be yours, you may have to pay child support, and you may not be allowed to see the kid.

    And holy shit, next time avoid being scum and sleeping with someone who is fucking engaged....and wrap that shit up EVERY time unless you know you are with someone who you are completely committed to, is completely committed to you, and definitely know the two of you want to have a child.

    Finally...don't expect much sympathy from people about this if it is yours.
     
  7. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    And know, you WILL BE PAYING CHILD SUPPORT even if you have split custody

    especially to this white trash jerry springer family that is being created.... a guy still marries a woman, after she gets preggers with another dude( maybe) and he knows about it!!! fucking FAIL for all parties (cept maybe TC)
     
  8. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Hopefully the fiancee will redeem himself and leave her if it turns out the baby is the TC.

    I don't care if the fiancee wants a baby...if you're trying to conceive with a woman, and she fucking CHEATS on you....no fucking way.

    TC, were they trying to have a baby when/before you entered the picture?
     
  9. Exiled

    Exiled New Member

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    That woman is evil and should be burned at the fucking stake.
     
  10. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    True...but he's also the idiot who slept with her knowing she was engaged.
     
  11. Exiled

    Exiled New Member

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    I want to know why she did it, why she allowed this to happen. If I was her Fiance I would want a paternity test and I would pray it wasn't mine so I could be done with her.
     
  12. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    :werd:

    I think at the end the relationship is just going to go down the shitters. Baby or not.
     
  13. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    I don't agree that some of you are blaming the OP...

    The woman had just as much responsibility in this as the OP does...

    They both knew she had a fiance and was getting married...

    I just don't understand the female mind as to why she would sleep with the OP, then break up with her boyfriend/fiance, then after 5-6 months get back together with her ex-bf/ex-fiance...? That just baffles the shit out of me... :dunno:
     
  14. l S3RG10 l

    l S3RG10 l New Member

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    They dont want you in their lives, cant blame them, move on
     
  15. uptown josh

    uptown josh Active Member

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    I don't want to be in their lives either. But if the baby is mine I would like to be a part of her(the babies) life. They are inducing april 18th!! I'm so anxious to find out. Yes she was already engaged before we hooked up. We are now at a point where we don't even really speak and the only sort of communication i have with her is through threatening text messages from her fiance. threatening to beat my ass, daring me to come to the hospital. It's a HUGE mess. I'm not going to start shit. But I do want to step up and be in that girl's life if she is mine..... It would be on my concious forever and I can't handle shit like that.
     
  16. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    She's just as stupid as you for allowing yourselves to have sex (unprotected) while she's engage.

    In any case, if you want to really know, take care of it right now. That way when she pops out, they can tell you.

    Well, good luck if the kid is yours. You're going to need it -- especially if you're going to fight for parental rights.
     
  17. uptown josh

    uptown josh Active Member

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    I know it is stupid for both of us to have unprotected sex. She was really weird about that. She begged me not to use a condom on several occassions. I might just be dreaming here but she was on fertility drugs at the time because she was told her and her fiance couldn't have a child... i am kind of thinking she might not of wanted me to use a condom because she wanted a child so bad. I'm playing devil's advocate i know. but it's just a thought. i think I'll' talk to an attorney tomorrow.
     
  18. Exiled

    Exiled New Member

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    Sounds like that girl is messed up big time.

    Any idea other than that as to why she slept with you?
     
  19. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    i wouldnt marry a woman just kuz i knocked her up
     
  20. calisteph6

    calisteph6 Active Member

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    this forum is just becoming so negative. unless anyone has a time machine where he can go back and NOT have sex with her maybe y'all should not be so rude? What's done is done...he is asking advice on the present.

    get a lawyer...because I seriously have no idea what you should do, but if you want to be in the kids life you need to have proof. On the other hand, if you dont care, let them do what they are going to do because if the fiance is on the birth certificate you're pretty much off the hook financially.
     
  21. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Wow...and you still slept with her? Holy hell :ugh:
     
  22. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    This is what I am trying to understand as well. If you are dating, engaged, or married, you shouldn't blame the single guy looking for quickie 100%. I would be more upset with the person who is in a relationship.

    This just sounds sounds messed up, but In My Honest Opinion, its a good thing you are trying to figure out if you are the father and if so, trying to play the part.
     
  23. althepirate

    althepirate Talk nerdy to me.

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    Good job on the sticky situation. Immense kudos for trying to step up.

    Get a lawyer, get an order for a paternity test NOW before the fiance puts his name on the birth certificate [edit] when the baby is born.
     
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2008
  24. cascade85

    cascade85 New Member

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    She is engaged to her boyfriend of 5 years and decides to sleep with you not once but numerous times??? The fiancé still wants to be with her regardless of the fact that the child she is carrying may not be his??? You get a smack in the face for involving yourself with her but a nice pat on the back for stepping up and taking responsibility for the child if its yours. I hope your financially and mentally stable to be a father. What is most likely going to happen, because at this point nothing will go right, you will be the father, fiancé will flip out every time he sees you, physical altercation might occur, he will finally snap back to reality and leave the bitch. So since their "family" is fucked you need to be the one constant stable thing in her life. Kids are great and they will change your life for the better.
     
  25. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    My real advice is don't sign the birth certificate and don't let the finace sign the birth certificate UNLESS you know which one is the father. You don't want to be financially and legally tied to a child that IS NOT yours.
     

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