girl im interested in just got out of long term relationship.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Aww_Kittah_Aww, Oct 4, 2009.

  1. Aww_Kittah_Aww

    Aww_Kittah_Aww Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2008
    Messages:
    2,003
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Gainesville, Fl
    I hung out with a friend of mine who I haven't seen in a few years. We recently just reconnected after both of us had gotten out of long term relationships.

    I felt alot of chemistry being around her, something I haven't felt with anyone since my last relationship. I've had a few months to heal and want to start dating again. She just got out of her long term relationship about 2-3 weeks ago.

    I see her as someone I would like to date but I don't want to be her rebound. At the same time I don't want to be friendzoned. How do I go about this? When we originally met a few years ago I had a feeling she liked me but I was dating someone else at the time.
     
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2009
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
  3. Rake89

    Rake89 Guest

    ^ where did the thread starter say she was still talking to her ex boyfriend? Kthanks.
     
  4. Aww_Kittah_Aww

    Aww_Kittah_Aww Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2008
    Messages:
    2,003
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Gainesville, Fl
    Ex is definitely not in the picture.
     
  5. Rake89

    Rake89 Guest

    exactly, which is why her post made no sense
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    :hsugh:

    It's not even about her keeping in contact with the ex, it's that after a long term relationship she's not going to be ready to start another one. Sure, it might start well because women like to jump into another relationship right away because they hate being alone, but eventually she'll most likely realize (or he'll see) she's not over whatever ruined the last relationship.

    But sure! Go ahead and start dating her, 2 weeks is plenty of time to heal.

    TS, why did they break up and why are you positive they are no longer in contact?
     
  7. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2004
    Messages:
    23,699
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NoVA
    There's no universal time for how long it takes people to get over a relationship. Relationships are all different based on length, intensity, emotional state of the person involved, whether the end was abrupt or expected, etc. Just go with your instincts and whatever is going to happen will happen. If you guys are genuinely a good match, odds are you won't scare her off. If you guys aren't meant to be then it won't work no matter what you try. So just be yourself and go at a pace that seems right to you.
     
  8. Rake89

    Rake89 Guest


    The assurance you put in your analysis is disgusting :ugh: Can you imagine if he actually listened to you and that ruined something that could very likely turn out great for him? Where in the world do you logically conclude that "she's not going to be ready for another one" from the little that he has said? Even if you have taken psychology your analysis is a bastardization of any analysis, as there is so little information you are going on. No, I don't think you have because statements like this:

    " but eventually she'll most likely realize (or he'll see) she's not over whatever ruined the last relationship."

    are just disgusting.
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    :rofl:

    Welcome to the Vag, where this situation happens on a weekly basis and turns out the same every single time.
     
  10. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2008
    Messages:
    1,816
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    CdM, CA
    I'm with you on this one

    my husband and i were rebounds for each other initially. TS, i dont know if there is a way to avoid being a rebound, but i do think it is possible to make it work if you guys have the right chemistry and compatibility with each other. i would tread lightly, see what she is up for, and see if you guys feel the same way about the situation. communication will be key here. if she doesnt feel the same way you do, dont wait around for her to change her mind

    if she talks to her ex at all though, i would stay away. nothing good can come of that
     
  11. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    That's just because the failures are always what get reported here. You gotta keep in mind the negative bias.

    And remember not to perpetuate it :p

    I'm with ForgottenSpiral's advice.
     
  12. Aww_Kittah_Aww

    Aww_Kittah_Aww Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2008
    Messages:
    2,003
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Gainesville, Fl
    UPDATE

    Well followed the advice of everyone and just went with it. I asked her out today and this is how it went...

    Me: (after a long conversation) Hey,______ I was wondering if I could take you out to dinner and maybe drinks afterwards next weekend?

    Her: Yeah, that sounds awesome :) works for me. I wanna see you A LOT more!!!!

    Sounds good right? My biggest worry with her was that when we knew each other in the past we were friends so I wanted to make sure she knew I wanted to be more than just friends with her.
     
  13. jonno

    jonno New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2003
    Messages:
    63,823
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    fort sam
    good shit. especially the last part.
     
  14. Gogoplata

    Gogoplata Guest

    See you in 6 months for the "I think my girl is cheating on me" thread and her explanation is "I want to be with you but just not right now"
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5

Share This Page