girl has never got off... help

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by irv, Jun 18, 2006.

  1. irv

    irv New Member

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    Okay. So my gf whom I've been dating for the last 8 months or so wasn't very experienced previous to our relationship. Neither was I, but I had done more than her.

    The most she had ever done with a guy was jerk him off and guys had used their hands.

    I had slept with 2 girls - one of which I was in a relationship for with about 6 or 7 months.

    None of these guys that she did that with turned out to be very nice, and they were all pretty much assholes just trying to get with her at parties... (I know them all...)

    Anyhow - my problem is this. For the most part our relationship is solid. We mesh very well and are very open with each other.

    She has never had an orgasm. Not from me. Not from any guys. Not from herself.

    She has been masturbating for the last 6 years or so but has yet to reach that spot.

    Now, one time a few months ago we were getting really into things, and were home alone. We had basically been making out for an hour or so and I was playing with her clit with my fingers. I have pretty fast fingers as I play the bass guitar, so she was enjoying herself... She had been heavily breathing and having little convulsions for about 45 minutes. After time, the convulsions got stronger... she started making noises, and finally after maybe an hour and a half of these waves she had one big convulsion and and just laid there - not responding to any touching. She whispered "I think I just came".

    Now, however, she thinks that that wasn't an orgasm because things that we've done since then have felt better.

    I think she just had an orgasm, but perhaps not a gigantic one... Perhaps she is orgasming, but she has been building up 'the big o' as the monstrous montage of moaning we all know and love from the adult film industry... I'm not saying that's not possible (as I know that it is from experience...) but, perhaps she just hasn't reached that point yet.

    Are the things I'm describing similar to what some girls will experience during orgasm?

    My last girlfriend did pretty much the same thing and she got off frequently.

    Now, whenever we fool around, I will go down on her or do other things for like an hour and she won't reach that point where she just feels relaxed after, and usually gets very frustrated.

    Obviously her not getting herself off is going to be a bit of a problem (I think) as she doesn't really know the thought/physical process she has to go through to get there.

    I'm not a female, but I would imagine there is a certain mindset and perhaps some rhythmic breathing that would help her along.

    If there are any females out there who can offer tips/suggestions for her to help get to where she is getting off too, then I would be very grateful.

    Any stories from girls or guys who have been in a situation like this would also help. I don't want her to just feel good, I want her to feel amazing...

    Also, any tips you guys have for me to help with this girl who isn't crazy sensitive or something... would also be appreciated.

    Sidenote: whenever we have been doing stuff recently, she tells me what feels good and what she likes and doesn't like so much...

    Thanks all... sorry for the long read... If you guys need cliffs, just ask.
     
  2. Gilly

    Gilly Fruit Loop outta my mind like Godzilla OT Supporter

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    i need cliffs
     
  3. irv

    irv New Member

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    okay...
    - girl of 8 months hasnt' got off... from me, any guy, or herself.
    - thought she got off a few months ago
    - was using my fingers and she was having waves of convulsions for an hour or more
    - now thinks that wasn't an orgasm?...
    - what can she and i do to help her get off?
    - much more detail in the full version =p...
     
  4. StrongGP

    StrongGP Guest

    It might just be her! My current gf, AND a friend of mines gf has never had an orgasm. Not by us, any other men or themselves. I think its just a shitty genetic problem or something. As hard as you try it just doesnt happen. Sucks. :ugh:
     
  5. irv

    irv New Member

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    yeah... that was a thought of mine too, but i don't wanna completely give up just yet... there has to be some things I'm not trying, or that she's not doing... so we can at least exhaust all the options.
     
  6. okeefe

    okeefe New Member

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    Education and masturbation.
    Read all about it, practice alone, then share with you what she's learned. Or watch some sexy sex-ed type videos together. Not porn, but things like erotic tapes on how to achieve and lengthen orgasms, erotic massage, etc. There is a book I read, The Clitoral Truth, which is very thorough about the clitoris and female sexuality. It covers physiology, cultural and social influences, etc. It's individual and unique for every women, how they find out what gets them off, how to manipulate and control that (no pun intended...sorta..), how to explore and learn one's own body. Good luck...this could turn out to be a lot of fun for both of you. :big grin:
     
  7. Gilly

    Gilly Fruit Loop outta my mind like Godzilla OT Supporter

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    try more foreplay......
    eat her out
    don't think about it. that will put her mind at ease
     
  8. krondo

    krondo New Member

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    try using something other than your hands..?
     
  9. BenjiBean

    BenjiBean New Member

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    well if she can't get herself off then how does she expect other people too really? she should know her own body by now, and is neglagent not to. although this being said, i think plenty of practice and experimentation between you two should soon clear this up.

    it sounds to me like she did come, and now she knows how to come they are getting better and more powerful. talk to her about this, clear up both of your worries on the situation and then try out new ideas. . . .

    Benji
     
  10. Critter

    Critter New Member

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    That WAS an orgasm that she had. They do vary in intensity.

    Clitoral stimulation does wonders, that's all I can say. ;)
     
  11. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    irv, PM me.
     
  12. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Learn about her G-Spot. I am sure you can Google up tons of stuff.

    My SO is like that. She didn't have an orgasm with any other men. Took her a few weeks with me (granted, I'm a lot older/more experienced.) and finally did, and now does consistently.

    Here are some tips:

    1. Let her know that the point of sex is to feel good, NOT to have an orgasm. If you do, great, if not, great. It is important to NOT focus on having an orgasm!!!

    2. There is no such thing as "failed" in sex. She focuses on that and then gets frustrated, which kills the mood for her. Tell her to knock it off.

    3. Blindfold her.

    4. Tie her down.

    5. Work up to anal sex. Learn how to do this, carefully. This gets my woman off within about 15 seconds, every time.

    6. Tease her. Less touching. Go slower. Tickle her. Just play and have fun.

    7. Consider getting her a vibrator. :naughty: Works wonders in my experience.
    Stuff like that.
     
  13. irv

    irv New Member

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    good points, did get a vibe, hasn't really done a terrible lot... it just eventually makes her numb. she almost got there tonight while i was going down on her and using my fingers. (this was after we had sex for a while). she said she was in the middle of coming when her dog and mom walked up the stairs =p and sorta broke the mood... so hopefully we get to experiment a lot in the near future. i have found a few things that she really enjoys... my neck and arms start to hurt quite a bit after about the 40 minute point. pretty crazy that i can do that for so long... i've done it for like 2 hours before lol... so crazy. time flies when you're eating box i guess... :) thanks all. more stories are welcome... and i'll update this thread once we reach that point again!
     
  14. irv

    irv New Member

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    it doesn't appear as if i can actually send pms... try to send me one =)
     
  15. irv

    irv New Member

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    alright guys and gals, a lil update. after some more tries, and a sex binge... (after these two) my lovely lady got off successfully. this time was so intense on my finger that was in her... basically i was stimulating her clit with my tongue/mouth and rubbing her g-spot with my middle finger. both very rythmically. after serveral smaller convulsions, and a gap between those convulsions led to one final approximately 1 minute long series of convulsions and about half way through that her pussy just tightened right up on my finger to where i couldn't move it. it stayed this way for at least another 20 seconds at which point she said that she infact did come and i said 'I know...'. then we cuddled and yeah... it was great... oh... and then she blew me off. it was jolly good. =)
     
  16. NeLLe

    NeLLe New Member

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    You are a GOD man
     
  17. irv

    irv New Member

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    alright... i thought i'd post another little update :) since that time, girlfriend has gotten off many times... it's getting a lot easier. she's also been able to get herself off with her hands and does that quite a bit now. we've also been having sex and i'll rub her clit while we do that. she's got off the last like 5 times or so. so we have come to the conclusion that it just took time to find out what would work for her, and for her to open up and relax enough to just let it happen.
     
  18. LordOvenMitt

    LordOvenMitt New Member

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    Good job. Patience is a virtue. :)
     
  19. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Bravo! :golfclap:
     
  20. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    I wish i could :wtc: i have been waiting for my day
     
  21. Local12hand

    Local12hand New Member

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    Get A Wiffle Ball Bat And Jam That Shit As Far In Her As You Possibly Can Should Do The Trick
     
  22. irv

    irv New Member

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    it's all about getting the right angle ;)
     

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