SRS Girl has boyfriend but is flirting with me...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Kerberos, Sep 21, 2005.

  1. Kerberos

    Kerberos New Member

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    SO basically, this is the situation. There is this girl at school that I rarely talked to before because she was too shy with me. Anyways, one day I asked her to add me to her MSN, she did and we started chatting almost every day. Anyways, when the summer started, I told her that I had a crush on her. At first, she was hesitant to give me an answer saying that she did not know me well enough. Anyways, at the end of the week, she sent me a drunk e-mail saying that she wanted me and other explicit things. So the next day, I invited her to go out, she said "I dunno" on MSN. Anyways, we talked a lot and she really seemed interested, however, whenever I asked her out she replied "I dunno". Anyways, this went on for like all summer. Then one day, she tells me through MSN that she has had a boyfriend for like 4 weeks that lives 7 hours away. Of course, I go ballistic on her etc. Anyways, she stops talking to me completely for a week, that is until school starts. THen when we started school, she started flirting with me all the time. She'd sit right next to me, would glance at me every few seconds, we'd have short awkward conversations all the time, etc. Anyways, a few days ago, she tells me that she thinks she's ugly etc. I tell her that she's the most beautiful woman in the world etc. Usually, she is a very happy, smiling and outgoing person however, since then she seems to have lost her smile. She doesn't flirt as much with me although whenever I start talking to her, she hangs around me indefinitely, sits next to me etc. Anyways, this morning she had changed her name to something like "life sucks...the word of the day, "oblivious" applies itself quite well". SOmething like that. I wanted to guage her later if she was talking about me and I wanted to know if she really had a boyfriend. Anyways, I asked her what she did this weekend, she said that she went to see her boyfriend that lives 7 hours away. What I found weird was the way that she said it, she said it in a very uncomfortable way, with her voice going down a few decibels and her voice sounding shaky. Anyways, I came back home now, and she has changed her name to "everything about life sucks :( ".

    My personal impression about the situation would be that, at first she did not know whether she liked me or not, when I asked her out a few months ago: after all, we had barely interacted at all because she was so shy. She was very shy with me and as a result never wanted to do anything with me because of that during the summer plus she was also very busy working two jobs. Anyways, since then, another guy got into the picture. However, now that she has been around me all the time for 2 weeks she is interested in me. She probably feels torn about that. Anyways, that is my impression, tell me what you think. Also, if this is true, what should I do?
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    I think she is lying about that bf of hers, i don't think she has a boyfriend but that she is simply too shy to engage into something with you. I never heard of such balony , anyway it doesn't hurt to be cautious , so better take precautions. Say to her, look i really want to date you but i want you to break up with your boyfriend first, do you even HAVE a bf? I never seen him around , so whats his name, are you hiding stuff from me? A bit of them piercing her balloon questions. Tell her how much important the truth is too you. Something like that.
     
  3. Kerberos

    Kerberos New Member

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    That was my impression at first but it's very hard to tell.
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Ah its non-sense and bogus if you ask me. That girl is totally high over heels for you, i just think you need to make the first move with her as she will be scared for the rest of her life to ask you out. That's never gonna happen due to her shyness, so why don't you help her out and ask her out instead. Now if she says no, she will probably do that because she freaked out, just remain calm and say something like, hey look you don't have to decide yet, think about it for a while, and i'll hear it on msn or later in school. Maby she will immediatly say no afterwards, but say that the date is open to thursday or whatever day convienent to you (to give her some time) to decide. I don't think she will confess it anyway that the whole bf thing was a scam. You can ask her some questions about that while dating. I mean think about it if she was really that shy would she have another bf, if i where you i would gamble it. Not that i advocate cheating, but i think you can play a card here. No risk no gain in this case,but in the end it will be your decision and your choise.
     
  5. PC

    PC Active Member

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    I dont think you have anything to lose and by the sounds of it she does like you. I'd go for it if I were you, ask her out but like darketernal says, tell her she doesnt need to decide then, give her time to think about it.
     
  6. bearsdidit

    bearsdidit OT Supporter

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    Lets assume she has a boyfriend and then wants to become involved with you... Would you want to associate yourself with someone that could change the way she feels about you in two miliseconds?
     
  7. johan

    johan Active Member

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    It would only make sense if you want to hit it and then quit it.
    Up to you if that's your kind of thing.
     
  8. getoffofit

    getoffofit New Member

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    ditto.. this girls trouble. get some poon a couple times then send her off on her 7 hour trip.
     
  9. quid

    quid I Piss Excellence OT Supporter

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    think of this though.... if she doesnt have a boyfriend, then you know that she has no problem lieing to you
     
  10. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    I swear I already replied to this... is this a repost?
     
  11. okita1

    okita1 Great spirits have always encountered violent oppo

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    why would you want to hook up with that drama anyways?
     
  12. Kerberos

    Kerberos New Member

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    That's the thing: I don't. But I can't stop thinking of her anyways.:noes:
     
  13. kaxfenix

    kaxfenix Guest

    Sounds like to me she likes to be the center of attention and craves it no matter how she can get it. If she really has a BF then you are just setting your self up for MUCH un-needed drama, and possible heart ache in the coming future. If I were you, I would keep it platonic and go from there. Find a single girl who is willing to have a HONEST relationship.
     
  14. Kerberos

    Kerberos New Member

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    I know. But the problem is finding a girl.
     
  15. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    so what happend?
     
  16. Kerberos

    Kerberos New Member

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    Latest developments: Last friday, we were all in the labs together, when one of my friends, whom I told him about this situation, told the girl "doesn't Kerberos look hot with his curly hair?". She looked at me in the eyes, from about 2 metres apart and said "Oh, yeah" while smiling at me. Later that day, we all went to the school pub together. She sat next to me. I got completely drunk and we were too many people sitting on the benches that I was sitting with my legs over her (I could have avoided it but I was drunk). Then I started playing with her knee with my hands then I put my hand on my lap while deliberately also making it rest on her lap. Then I almost fell asleep with my head on her shoulder. She had drunk far less than me, she never pushed me back or looked uncomfortable or anything she just continued talking with everyone as if nothing. I know the way I acted was totally unappropriate and I have no excuse :hs:. However, since then she has not responded to me on MSN although she still remains online. I think it's obvious that she finds me hot but she has a boyfriend and has no intentions of cheating on him or leaving him. This is obvious by the way she seems to be slowly detaching herself from me.
     
  17. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Teenage.

    Dating.

    Forum.
     
  18. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Oh boy, another Captain Save-a-hoe...

    Look man, why are you tolerating this mess? This is obviously one very immature girl with some attention issues. I don't know why you are wasting your time.

    The first thing you need to do is drop this "all she needs is a nice guy like me" attitude. The second thing you need to do is to move on and don't give her the attention she obviously enjoys you giving her. She knows what to do to get Captain Save-a-hoe to come running to her rescue and to tell her flattering things like she is the most beautiful girl in the world. Sheesh!

    If you refuse to move on then you need to at least grow a pair of balls. Stop having all interactions on her terms. She knows how bad she has you wrapped around your finger. I mean geez, she lied to you all of that time about having a boyfriend (assuming she was telling the truth-and if not, she then lied about that.) You did the right thing by going off on her ass, but it really doesn't matter because she knows that all she has to do is give you a hint that she likes you (ie-flirting) and you are back to be wrapped around her finger. Grow a pair man, jesus.

    If you insist on ignoring that this girl is trouble, then it's time for you to put your foot down. Tell her you are taking her out, and go do it. None of this, "she said, I dunno" crap. When are you going to take charge? Tell her that you weren't asking, you were telliung her that you are going to take her out. Don't hesistate on anything, do what you want to do and don't ask questions. No girl likes a guy who is only half a man. Be a man, make plans, and follow through with them without stopping and asking if its ok. If she REALLY has interest in you then she will go along for the ride. If she doesn't like you then she will take a cab (figuratively).

    Just don't allow yourself to be tooled around like you have been. She plays you like a fiddle.
     
  19. SolShinobi

    SolShinobi New Member

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    DiggityDogg is on point. Listen to the man. Seriously.
     
    Last edited: Sep 26, 2005
  20. AshLee

    AshLee New Member

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    girls dont always hang around and talk to guys they dont like :wavey: go for it
     
  21. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Excuse me? A LOT of girls are attention whores.
     
  22. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    As are a bunch of guys. Moot point.

    Honestly, you don't want to get into things with her. If she has a boyfriend, she's cheating on him emotionally if not physically. Even if she were to dump him and get with you, what's to say she wouldn't turn around and do the same thing with some other guy? If she doesn't have a boyfriend, then she's lying to you. Do you want to date a compulsive liar? It's a lose-lose situation...
     
  23. AshLee

    AshLee New Member

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    well im not an attention whore, so i dont think like that. when i hang out with guys and talk to them too much its because i like them. not just for attention. i get enough of that from my friends
     
  24. Kerberos

    Kerberos New Member

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    Well thanks a lot everyone for the support. I now consider myself over this girl. Now for the difficult task of finding a decent girl. Should be difficult being in a faculty that is 99% guys.
     
  25. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    It's not a moot point, it just plain isn't the point. We are talking about a girl here so bringing up that guys are too is something we shouldn't even be discussing.
     

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