SRS girl cheated on me.....please need advice.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by The Dude, Dec 22, 2005.

  1. The Dude

    The Dude Guest

    - so i found out from one of my friends that she made out with some kid a couple weeks ago at some party.....I told her out over the phone, was pretty stern about everything I said...."pretty much said we're through".....she explained that the details i heard were blown out of proportion.....so she drove up here tonight so that we can meet in person.....prior to her getting here, i had a long chat with my sister about the situation.....she convinced me to give her a second chance saying that everyone fucks up and we've only been seeing each other for a month so it would be wrong to be so cutthroat so early, which would eliminate any possible future with her...

    - so i meet the girl and we chat....prretty much told her that if u have diff. priorities than fine with me, but we're through.....but if ur interested in being more serious, then im willing to forgive you...so we come back to my place, have the makeup sex, things went smoothly.....

    - but now, im sitting here at 230 am.....and all i can think about is what she did with that guy (supposedly kissing, and feeling FYI)......i feel like im going to be paranoid for the rest of the time with her, i feel like ive lost all trust with her....but then again, i still really enjoy being with her.....is this an unfixable problem? can i gain her trust again?
     
  2. Devilish

    Devilish Remind me AGAIN

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    Time will tell. If you can't move past it though it won't be a good relationship. If you want to make it work, every time those thoughts come in to you head, literally push them out and think about something else. If that can't happen after a few weeks then it may be time to just be friends.
     
  3. RedDawg

    RedDawg Well-Known Member

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    did you both agree to only see each other, maybe she thought you were only "seeing" each other and she was still free to date others if she wanted.
     
  4. The Dude

    The Dude Guest

    i talked about this with her....we both agreed that despite us not being "official" it was still at a level where what she did was disrespectful
     
  5. Cheshire Cat

    Cheshire Cat New Member

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    i would say that yes you may be able to move past it HOWEVER it's HER that needs to gain YOUR trust
     
  6. Crush

    Crush Epidural hematoma up in this bitch

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    Be strong, but wary. If you sell yourself out before she does anything you've already lost.
     
  7. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    Been down this road bro, dump her now and save yourself future heartache.
     
  8. Alchemist

    Alchemist Your Neighborhood Supplier

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    However much you enjoy being with her, its up to her to earn your trust back, whether that be her avoiding going to parties and drinking or going and showing she can act appropriately in that situation its all on her to prove it to you.

    Keep the negative thoughts out of your head and just hope for the best.
     
  9. sexhaver420

    sexhaver420 Buying stuff I don't need, with money I don't have OT Supporter

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    Please tell me that this isnt the type of girl you want to date. The type of girl who goes to a party and doesnt even tell you? The beginning of a relationship is supposed to be the most secure, and the most fun. Tell her that she's not the type of girl that you want to date but you will still fuck her because she's a good fuck :bigthumb:
     
  10. Lol McRofles

    Lol McRofles Lollers OT Supporter

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    This girl i was dating called me at six in the morning once. Told me she needed to talk to me. So i go over and talk to her. She tells me she kissed this guy. She was crying and saying how sorry she was. So i accepted her apology and we both moved on. A month later she screwed him. I am now against any sort of second chances. If you cant trust a girl then its not worth it cause all your gonna do is wear yourself out with all the stress and worry of whats going everytime your not there and its definitely not worth it.
     
  11. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Making out isn't really cheating. I mean, I guess it is but... its not unforgiveable. Its not sex.
     
  12. Lol McRofles

    Lol McRofles Lollers OT Supporter

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    But it could also be her way to test how you would react if she did cheat in the future. So she could see if she could make you feel bad enough to give her a second chance. :dunno:
     
  13. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    Good point Peyomp. She was at a party, people tend to get silly at parties. I've gone around and hugged and kissed people at parties (the obnoxious men always try for quick fumble fondle). It may not seem as bad as it is. We don't know. It wasn't as if she was dorking people. I'd forgive and be a tad wary and maybe accompany her to future parties. She did explain the situation (truthfully one hopes). No big deal.
     
  14. ChosenGSR

    ChosenGSR Mama always said you'd be the chosen one

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    I don't think any kind of person that cheats is a person you'd ever want to be with. No need to even go into the details, it's simple as that.
     
  15. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Making out isn't cheating, but it's a prelude. A sort of gateway, an indicator crime, if you will.

    Anyways, much depends on context.

    making out and/or groping at an alcoholic teen party....forgivable.

    Making out and/or groping as an adult married woman....major trouble looms ahead.


    Best not to turn a blind eye and "forgive and forget", which is just wuss talk for "I'm the lower status party in the relationship, and I'm too scared to call you on this unacceptable behaviour".
     
  16. DamonZuman

    DamonZuman New Member

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    99% of our actions are really habits, in other words people behave in patterns. If someone cheats on you once, chances are it will happen again. Take this into consideration before making a decision regarding this person.
     
  17. Crush

    Crush Epidural hematoma up in this bitch

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    Sorry, but ive always believed in the theory that once a cheater, always a cheater.
     

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