SRS Girl advice?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Diesel Fumes, Nov 15, 2005.

  1. Diesel Fumes

    Diesel Fumes Guest

    Well, theres this girl that I have been talking to steadily for about 5 years. We talked about all sorts of stuff. Mostly she was the girl I turned to whenever I had a problem or concern. She enjoyed helping me deal with my problems. She also told me about her problems all the time and I have always helped her talk through them. It was a great relationship. Up until about 2 weeks ago I had never met her in person. When I actually did meet her, it was a bit awkward at first, but I must say, I really like this girl and I know she likes me.

    She is currently in a relationship in which she complains a lot about. Stuff like how the guy treats her bad, etc. She says that eventually she will exit the relationship but she remains there because she has social contact through him.

    Strangly, she made mention of dating me before we even met. Said she would date me even though we hadn't met at that point in time. Things didn't change after we met though. She told me things like how I make her feel comfortable, I make her happy and she thinks I'm physically attractive. I guess I had the same feelings about her. Then she asked me about sex and asked if I would have had sex with her. I told her I would, but didn't want to due to her having a boyfriend and all.

    We are both psychologically messed up people. We both admit that each of us are not normal. We talk about a lot of weird things and we both enjoy it very much. She claims that she is more confide(confident?) with me than anyone she has ever known. I have her trust, she has mine.

    I admit, I suck with relationships, but lately I have trouble finding stability in my life without one. I'm pretty sure I can have a future of some kind with this girl, but I just don't want to take it too quickly as she might get the wrong idea.
     
  2. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Ah, the whole best guy friend with a crush on a girl who complains about her bad boyfriend story....

    How do you know her boyfriend treats her bad? You are only hearing her side of the story and you are biased towards her because you know her and you want her. From all that you really know, it is her who is the bad one since she's talking about cheating with another man. Great girl.
     
  3. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    This is a bad thing. You should not depend on others for your happiness or stability. All other things aside, if you get into a relationship with anyone for this reason, it will likely fail because you don't know how to make yourself happy and the other person will feel pressured to entertain you to make you happy.

    Are you sure you shouldn't be working on yourself right now instead of working on this (taken) girl? The status of her relationship shouldn't be of concern to you - all you need to know is that she's in one and is therefore off-limits to you. If she likes you enough, she'll dump him. If not, you're not sufficient motivation for her to leave so she'll put your emotions on a rollercoaster until she finally decides you're too much work and cuts contact.
     
  4. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Plain and simple, if her boyfriend treated her so bad she'd have left him.

    Women speak with actions, not words.
     
  5. Diesel Fumes

    Diesel Fumes Guest

    Well, apparently shes single now. Lets say I do want to get with this girl. What should my next step be?
     
  6. johan

    johan Active Member

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    From the way you describe your relationship, you two know each other pretty well.

    There's a high enough level of intimacy (though twisted and somewhat tainted due to the inappropriateness of the "you, her, her boyfriend" triangle) such that it seems to me that you ought to just go the direct route.

    Ask her over to your house. Or go over there. Seems pretty simple and straightforward given your previous history together.

    I'd actually be somewhat surprised if she wasn't into you. And if she IS into you, I'd be surprised if you didn't have sex with her quite soon. Maybe this weekend.
     
  7. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    You next step? If she has a boyfriend tell her to dump him and date you, and be serious. If she is single then tell her that you are going to take her out on a date, give her a specific time, and go do it.
     
  8. Jester

    Jester OT Supporter

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    :werd: and if for some reason she comes up with some reason why she can't, then move the hell on, no matter how good the 'reason' sounds.
     

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