GF's parents..

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by hayte997, Nov 7, 2005.

  1. hayte997

    hayte997 Guest

    My GF and I are on the verge of moving in together and I plan to pop the question shortly after. (We've been together for 18 months.)

    Her parents are telling her it'd be a big mistake to move in together before marriage because 70% (can't remember exact %) of couples who move in together before marriage, split up. Well no shit! Probably because they couldn't stand each other all day long, everyday! And being married would have just made it harder and made a divorce. But if you live together first you can tell if you could live together well or not.

    And they're telling her that since we've been serious in our relationship (for the past 14 months or so) that my Gf has had no life and it's blended into mine and she revolves around me.
    It makes me feel like she thinks I'm one of those controlling BF's, when I'm really far from it.

    True, my GF and I don't really hang out with anyone else but isn't that pretty common? I never really had many friends, two or three realy good friends who all now have serious relationships as well. My Gf used to always to go parties, hang out with tons of people but she stopped once we got serious and her mom sees that as her life revolving around me.

    I've always thought her mom seemed almost jealous of our relationship and would try to cause problems with us. She'd always say BS like "ya'll spend too much time together" and "There's no way ya'll are really that happy, someone is hiding something"


    .... Well, just wanted to get that out mainly.
     
  2. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    She is right about the living together part. And there is a lot more to it than "realizing" u cant stand each other.

    As far as the rest. Who knows. It could be true u control her life, maybe the mom is just jelous, maybe the mom is a bitch, maybe she thinks her daughter is too good for u. Impossible to know w/o knowing all of u and all the sides to the story.
     
  3. BTA

    BTA New Member

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    Who gives a shit what her fucking parents think

    Do what you both want to do and if it works out great, if not then oh well.

    Her parents can go fuck themselves though.
     
  4. Mojo

    Mojo New Member

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    i hate ignorant ass parents like that. more support, less ignorance. mostly when it comes to family
     
  5. RedDawg

    RedDawg Well-Known Member

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    tell her parents that 60% of statistics are made up and that they need to STFU
     
  6. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    Only you know your relationship..... if you think what you're doing is the right move, that's your thing. I don't personally think its a good idea to live together before marriage, but depending on the relationship I'm sure it can be a good thing.
     
  7. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Another reality apparently
    :rofl: Maybe because its thier daughter.

    Whatever any guy wants to believe, you dont find out in just a few months/years everything there is to know about your girl. Her parents on the other hand are older, and have known her...well since she was born.

    If they are hesitant and have a bad attitude toward the situation, its usually for a damn good reason. 99% of parents arent out there to ruin thier childs live, they are trying to protect them from mistakes they have already made.

    If you are going to live with thier daughter, marry her, and become part of her family... the "fuck her parents" attitude won't get you far.



    You do find out ALOT about each other when you live together, and you continue finding out alot over the next few years. Even after alot of time together, there is always more to learn. I personally think its a great idea to live together before marriage, and so far it worked out great for me. Only time will tell if it was the right decision, but we are currently happily married after living together for a long time.

    Also having her parents agree with your decisions is important. Not only do you gain the respect of your woman (yea, most MATURE women understand where thier parents come from, and although they might not agree with them all the time, they still respect them...YOU SHOULD TOO), but you will have another set of parents to be there for you when you need it. You might not think thats a big deal right now, but I'm telling you from experience its a great thing to have.

    Work with her parents, talk with them and be open with them. They are adults, they have been through more than you ever have (no matter what you think), and thier input on the future of thier daughter should be taken seriously.

    Oh, and her mom is NO WHERE NEAR jealous of your relationship :rofl: where the hell do you get that shit?
     
  8. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    umm.. just want to comment on the fact that it is not normal for most people to completely cut off all other social contact just because you are in a relationship. both of you should have friends. you should make an effort to spend a night without your girl, at the bare minimum twice a month. this will do a lot of things, all of them good. it will give her a chance to miss you, and you her, which is important. It will be good for you. you need a guy you can talk stuff over with, get advice from, and just relax with. sometimes, no matter how much you love your GF you are going to need some time away, and if you let all your friendships slide, then that isnt gonna happen.

    she desperately needs a girl. girls are different then guys, and trust me on this, it is not healthy for a girl not to have at least one good girlfriend. you will go mad trying to meet her every emotional need. forget about for her, even for your sanity, she needs this. I dont know how any man could put up with the level of yapping that a girl without any friends does.

    since your friends have girls too, you can also do couple stuff together. try going out with another couple for dinner or something. if you get along, i think you will find it can be pretty fun.
     
  9. Ichabod Crane

    Ichabod Crane Active Member

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    It is the truth that couples who move in together before getting married have a higher divorce rate.
     
  10. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    Hmm.... well I can see where this is comming from, but at the same time, I look at this from the standpoint of someone who never has/had a social circle and think "so what?"

    I don't have friends that I hang out with; sure I'm friends with people at work and whatnot, but I don't go hang out with them outside of that environment. I figure that if the chemistry and personalities work together without outside influences from a social circle, it's fine. The whole idea of having someone to go whine to about your SO just doesn't appeal to me. I mean, what's the point of complaining about your private relationship in a public way? Nobody else is there in the relationship, so why should they be credible or in a position to tell me what's wrong or what to do?
     
  11. BTA

    BTA New Member

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    I guess my point of reference is a little skewed since my SO's mom is a looney drunk who hates every SO of every child she has. She shut the fuck up after I proposed though :wiggle:
     
  12. low20

    low20 Member

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    ive run into a set of those parents, and well, u cant really do anything about it...its up to the both of you...in my case my gf usually sided with her parents which sucked, but whatever...thats over now thank god....as for moving in together, i donno...me and my gf spend a lot of time together...im finishing up college and she already has a career, so we chill on nights and weekends and ill stay over at her place like once a week, and thats about enough for the both of us...it depends on the couple tho...u could always try it out for a bit and then if you both think it wont work out for the best that way, then do what you were doing untill you get married...many will say, what the hell is the difference? could be tru as well....depends on u and ur SO really...but dont let the parents decide...
     
  13. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    It actualy DOES make a difference though.
    Even though she is an adult, parents can be very controlling and demanding.
    My husband's mother disowned him for quite some time when we moved in together. :o If you can prevent that,I suggest you try.
     
  14. hayte997

    hayte997 Guest

    It's hard to explain but I've heard her say things like "It's disguisting" when referring to our relationship because she says we sit on each other. Meaning when we're together, we're usually close and holding hands/hugging. Not making out in public or anything like that. I don't know what's wrong with her mom but she has two older sisters and she treated them the same way and even broke up one of the sisters serious relationships.
     
  15. Jagrmaister

    Jagrmaister New Member

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    Heh...Parents. I do so well with them. My ex's hated me, and the new one's dad hates me in a month's time...In fact, when I went out with her Monday her and her dad were working on an insurance report and he didn't know I was coming over. I show up and he starts having a hissy fit about me being there and demanding I leave by 6:30p.m. (1 hr. after showing up) because he doesn't want me hanging around while they finish up (he knows I drive an hour just to see her...so it was no big deal chillin' on the couch for an hour or so while they finish...he wanted me to leave!) But I'm not there to please them.

    Just do what you feel is right. Sounds like the parents just feel you're falling a little short for their daughter, but as long as she's infatuated with you, who cares?
     

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