gf went through my cell phone

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by tsi90, Dec 11, 2006.

  1. tsi90

    tsi90 _____

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    She admitted today that she went throught my calls and text messages. What should I do. should I be mad or no :dunno: Im not doing anything wrong so she didnt find anything
     
  2. illdisposed

    illdisposed New Member

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    id be mad, my ex used to do that, thinking i was hiding somthing....sneaky slut, and SHE was the one who ended up cheating......
     
  3. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    Do what Poco says about suspicious women....

    Tell her that if she wants to be with you, she will never again be suspicious of you or accuse you of cheating without hard evidence, or good reasons.

    That is one of the best pieces of advice ive ever heard.
     
  4. RamGriffin

    RamGriffin New Member

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    They say if one person thinks you're cheating, they're really the ones cheating.
     
  5. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    I would ask why. Then,, if she gives any answer about being suspicious or anything like that give her the warning. Let her know that you won't be with a woman who won't trust you.

    Pretty much the only answer I would accept would be "Oh, I couldn't remember our mutual friend's number".

    I mean, seriously, it's a phone. What reason at all would she have to go through your phone?
     
  6. illdisposed

    illdisposed New Member

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    x2!
     
  7. gkremian

    gkremian New Member

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    I'd be pretty fuckin irritated. I'm irritated when anyone goes through my phone, unless its my best friends who I've known for like 10 years. Only they have permission to touch my phone without asking, everyone else (including my girlfriends) have always had to ask.

    I'd tell her that she has no reason to be suspicious, no right to go through my shit, and if she does it again she can go through her shit because she is going on the curb.
     
  8. tsi90

    tsi90 _____

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    Over the summer I was using an extra cell phone that her parents had untill i got a new one. She got the bill and noticed that i was talking to my ex a lot. Which i though was ok since we were friends. I found out that it was a big deal and so i havent talked to my ex since then. So thats her reason for doing it. She was checking to see if i still talk to her which i dont.
     
  9. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    i don't think you can be mad at her for that. you kinda gave her a reason to mistrust you after all.

    normally i'd be opposed to it, but as long as it doesn't continue i wouldn't hold it against her - just say "fair enough, i was calling my ex before but when i realised it was a big deal i stopped. you've been through my phone, you've seen that, now trust me in future and don't go snooping again - you can ask me for the truth you know"
     
  10. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    You have a valid reason to be upset now. She doesn't trust you. At least not 100%. If she did, and asked you if you were still talking to your ex, and you said "no", she would leave it at that.

    Why does she need to check? Doesn't she trust you?

    I wouldn't stand for that. There should be NO NEED for her to check up on you. Make sure to let her know that too.

    If she does it again, just out of the blue, I'd break up with her. Why? More indications of not trusting you...and why be with someone who doesn't trust you?
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I was JUST going to ask if you talk to ex's or something, because obviously her fears were never calmed in that situation. You can solve this pretty simply. Tell her it hurt your feelings she doesn't trust you and went snooping. And that you and your ex are friends only, she is your girl and that you barely talk. She eventually will get the point.
     
  12. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    If you were talking with your ex (which is a near fatal blow in a relationship, IMO) then I think she was sort of justified in going through your phone. That was a big mistake on your part. Never talk to or about ex's, period, end of story.

    However, with that said, I would put your foot down and let her know that her suspicious behavior is no longer warranted, and she should not do it again without first asking your permission to sneak a peak at your phone. Then make her "play" grovel/beg/something goofy/fun.

    Now had she done it and you had never cheated nor spoken to your ex, it would be time for the "Until you catch me in the act, don't ever accuse me or go through my stuff again" speech.
     
  13. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Doesn't "don't go through my stuff" imply "...because I'm hiding something?"
     
  14. MP525i

    MP525i New Member

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    i would think it's viewed as common respect.
     
  15. calisteph6

    calisteph6 Active Member

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    While this sounds super shady it sounds like she admitted she did it and why, which shows that she is owning up to her fuck up. Everyone can be insecure at times even tho it is lame. I suggest you ask her if you guys are 'cool', aka, she isn't going to pull the shit again and just move on.
     
  16. MudFlap

    MudFlap Guest

    If it was me I would have no problem. Want to look through my celly go right ahead, want to check out my email go right ahead, I have no problem with that. I would expect the same in return (not liek I would do it) but if people trust each other why have secrets... its not HS anymore (at least for me)
     
  17. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    I would think so. I really dont care if my boyfriend goes through my cell phone, e-mail, or whatever if he really wanted to. The issue is trust here.
     
  18. Essence

    Essence New Member

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    i don't trust anyone lol. I have never cheated on my girlfriend, but I have checked her phone a time or two after she has gotten suspicious phone calls or something like that. Never been out of line though. She doesn't mind me ever using her phone, maybe thats why I don't really care to waste time or effort looking through her shit. She never looks through my phone that I know of. If she did it really wouldn't matter though.
     
  19. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    :werd: I've been cheated on before and cheating is so common that I find it very hard to trust someone completely. I'd rather know early in the relationship if they are gonna cheat or flirt with other people so I can get out before I get too involved. At the beginning of my last relationship I checked his phone and computer a couple times and never found anything. That made me feel much more comfortable with the relationship and I never felt like I needed to check anything again since he didn't give me a reason too. I leave my email opened and my phone laying around and if a bf wants to check it I have no problem with it since I have nothing to hide.
     
  20. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    It shouldn't. We each have a right to our privacy.

    When I say "None of your business" its not necessarily because I have something to hide.
     
  21. Epiphany

    Epiphany 78% of all statistics are made up on the spot

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    :werd:

    When you do things causing people to mis-trust you then you earn it back. It's not just given. If you care about your relationship and earning trust back then you do what it takes to get to that point. If you have nothing to hide... then you hide nothing. Especially if it was an issue due to your own actions to begin with.

    I fully agree with "until you catch me don't accuse me" though. Personally, I don't feel it's really that big of a deal if any person goes through my phone because I have nothing to hide. I could care less. It's never bothered me when my SO's have gone through my phone. If it was repeatedly all the time it would bother me if I've never done anything but if I had then they need to do what they need to do to earn the trust back.

    I'm going through things like this right now and I just found out my bf's (been with for 9 months) ex of 4 years just confessed her undying love to him wanting him back. He's been hiding the fact that they've been talking even though they are "just friends". This has been an ongoing problem from the get-go. You need to know where to draw the line and she has to figure out where things stand whether it comes from you or not. If that's what it takes then let it be but I agree tell her she needs to trust you because you have chosen to be with her and that is what you want and that nothing else matters to you... but live up to it and don't hide things.
     
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2006
  22. Epiphany

    Epiphany 78% of all statistics are made up on the spot

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    If one person has caused mis-trust in the relationship then it is the other person's business until things become more clear because it affects them and their life.

    People have the right to protect their own feelings if they aren't sure the person is fourthcoming or honest. That is not to say something is happening but if you caused it then you shouldn't be above doing what it takes to clarify. One would hope that things turn out for the best but I'd rather find out the real intention rather than giving up something that could be better than what I've been leading to believe based on things found out.

    Why would someone just blindly go through a relationship and suck it up if they aren't clear on the person's intentions. You can't always trust what people tell you if they've already betrayed that... intentionally or not.
     
  23. broke_down_bmw

    broke_down_bmw New Member

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    I Fucking Hate That
     
  24. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    could you try to be more helpful? For example, post experiences you may have had relating to this, and how they turned out..

    This is a serious forum, and just posting a little reation like that really doesn't count for anything.
     
  25. enfiniti

    enfiniti How firm thy friendship ... OHIO!

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    My girlfriend did that all the time, checks my phone, my email, my aim convos. And you know what, privacy aside, I dont let it bother me ...

    until it did, then I turned into the asshole that hid everything, locked down my computer, talked to other girls and left their txt msgs in my phone.


    Then I realized that was all pretty jouvenile.

    She was overstepping her bounds by acting like I had soemthing to hide when I didnt. Then when it kept hapening, I went out and looked for something to hide.

    All in all, it was retarded on both our parts and could have been solved with one conversation in the beginning telling her that I would appreciate her respecting my privacy and if she had any concerns to bring them up to me and I would be more than willing to show her whatever she wanted.

    Live and learn



    and to those who say get out now... seriously every girl does something you wont like, as will you likely do something they dislike. Handle it right, talk about it, agree talk about things in the future. Then if it happens again, not only is she disrespecting your privacy, but she is disrespects your wishes for an open communication in your relationship. And then she needs to go
     

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