SRS gf v. co-worker advice

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Ramedogg1983, Jul 18, 2006.

  1. Ramedogg1983

    Ramedogg1983 JD in the making

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    Need some advice. Been with my gf for 3 yrs now. I love her but i dont think im in love with her as i used to be. Moreover, i dont think long term would work cuz shes going to med school abroad and we have primarily religious differences and cultural differences as well. Shes now abroad and i have more time to chill with others. One of my co-workers really has my attention, no religiuos differences and really no cultural differences as well. she wants to chill with me outside of work but i dont know cuz i dont wanna be attracted to her and have it influence my decision with my gf. i would break up with her but its tooo hard to call it quits now. She's my bestfriend and she told me we couldnt be friends if we ever split regardless if it was a consensual split or not. Advice? :wtc:

    Cliffs - 3 yr gf doesnt interest me really anymore but other girl does, what do i do?
     
  2. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    Don't hold yourself back. If you stay with your girlfriend and you aren't interested like you used to be, you'll only make yourself miserable and the relationship will eventually fail.

    If you feel a "spark" with this other girl, I say go for it. Nothing says you can't become best friends with her, too.

    The only consideration is that since she's a co-worker, will any potential rift in THAT relationship alter your employment situation? And can you afford it to?

    Still, regardless of what else you do, don't stay in a relationship you aren't happy with.
     
  3. Ramedogg1983

    Ramedogg1983 JD in the making

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    i totally agree but at this point, it feels like its too difficult to end it without something detrimental like her cheating on me or something like that. It seems itll be way toooooo hard. i dont know what to do cuz i love her but i just dont feel the same way especially cuz i look at this as a dead end relationship
     
  4. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    Well, that's just how it goes sometimes; all you can do is bite the bullet and get out now. You'll be doing yourself a huge favor. And in fact, the conversation you have about your breakup may even give you new perspective on other things in your life, including this new girl who has been showing interest in you.
     
  5. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    I think the most important part of the story is that you are no longer romantically interested in your partner. I think it's time to call it quits. As far as your co-worker, be careful. Work relationships can be bad.
     
  6. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    My thoughts exactly. If things aren't working with your girlfriend, end it - and end it BEFORE you start sampling other wares.

    As far as a work relationship goes, remember that you only see a part of the person in a work environment. You don't know how she interacts with her family and friends, and you don't know how she lives. If the relationship sours, you'll be in a very uncomfortable situation, and that's not even taking into account what your employer will think about it (and if you think your employer won't hear about it, think again). Only date at work if you're prepared to walk away from that job, because it's really a question of how important your job is to you in comparison to the importance of your relationship with your co-worker. Your employer may see it as a conflict of interest, since you're expected to have the best interests of the company at heart.
     
  7. Ramedogg1983

    Ramedogg1983 JD in the making

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    Thanks alot for all that commented. I would like to point out that im still in college and this bullshit job i have right now, is just that bullshit. Im a server at a restaurant and i do it cuz it works well with my availability. Moreover, i dont think i would cause any sour feelings at work even if i chose to or didnt choose to pursue it. the hardest thing for me to do is break it off without hurting her in a way that makes her feel like i fucked her over cuz i havent and wont do anything like that. Regardless, i have a feeling its gonna get flipped on my like i screwed her over in which i didnt.
     
  8. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    Do you know how to be honest? Just tell her the truth, that while you still care about her a great deal, you just aren't as interested in her as you used to be. Give her the 'ol "It's not you, it's me, I'm sorry but this is for the best" speech.
     

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