SRS gf suggested we should go on a break

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by KSNIPPY, Jul 20, 2009.

  1. KSNIPPY

    KSNIPPY As lost as i get i will find you

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    ok first off ive never taken a break so i dont exactly know the "rules" so to speak of one. ive always thought that breaks were something that just prolongued the inevitable of eventually breaking up.

    anyways, weve been together for about 8 months. she has good reason for suggesting the break because lately things have just been pretty stressful and intese for us. shes beginning to pick apart almost everything i say and seems to constatnly be on the defensive towards me. she said that she has done this with guys before but it has held off longer than usual. she says that she does still cares alot about me and wants to work things out and thinks this may be what it takes. i am completely willing to give her the space she needs, especaily if its something that could help us. the only thing that bothers me is that she doesnt want any communication at all and i dont know if thats a characteristic of a break, like i said i dont know the rules to this kind of thing. she said she wants it to be for a few weeks or maybe a month. i dunno what exactly im looking for in this post. i guess just some good advice.
     
  2. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    tell her "then we're broken up" and wish her well, then start looking to date.

    it'll be interesting to see how quickly that "no communication" thing ends when a friend of a friend tells her she saw you out with another girl.
     
  3. Spaceering

    Spaceering I bite.

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    don't bother learning the rules for a break. Just save yourself any future hassle and end it completely.
     
  4. seismic

    seismic New Member

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    If she cared about the relationship, during times of stress she would turn to you for support, not away from you.
     
  5. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    when women say we need a break that means I need different cock

    save yourself some dignity and tell her its over don't let her have the control in this situation
     
  6. katt_85

    katt_85 OT Supporter

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    She wont respect you if you wait around for her. Don't be her doormat. Let her know you love her, but either she wants to be with you or she doesn't. It really is that simple. She just wants a break to explore her options.
     
  7. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    do what 7960 said.

    going on a break is womanese for "im breaking up with you but im not going to go out right and tell you that you are dumped because im too nice and you are a sensitive caring puppy and it would crush your heart and soul if you knew i was dumping you out right"
     
  8. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    turn around and tell her that if a break is what she needs then she must not think much of your relationship. therefore, you want to break it off.

    DO NOT stay in limbo waiting for her to make up her mind. you've only been together for 8 months.
     
  9. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Going on a "break" in a relationship, by the girl's terms or just in general, is just as effective to the survival of the relationship as trying to land on the moon using a rubber sling shot. It just does not work
     
  10. Methix

    Methix New Member

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    :werd: to everything that has been said so far.

    i've been in a similar situation. she ended up sleeping with someone else during our break after being together for one year. i was blindly in love though so i was her "doormat" and ended up getting back together with her. she was so distant the following year that i finally realized what an idiot i was and broke up with her. the breakup went so smoothly she couldnt have cared less.

    as much as she might mean to you dude, if you dont mean much to her then move on. nothing is more painful then loving someone who doesnt gives a rats ass about you. :sadwavey:
     
  11. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    the rules of 'a break' are as follows:

    The relationship is over. Move on
     
  12. KSNIPPY

    KSNIPPY As lost as i get i will find you

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    thanks for the advice everyone. its generally the coments i was thinking i would get on the subject. i dont think shes doing it to go after another guy, just more of her needing time to hereslf and time to cool off, shes a very independent person. my birthday is in two weeks and she said the she wants to get something together for me still. so im sure she still has intrest and cares if shes putting something together. i dont like being a doormat and being the one to wait around and she knows that. she doesnt want to waste her time or mine. but she really thinks this is something that could help us out.
     
  13. PcH

    PcH Guest

    I never believed in breaks. I re-considered it with my ex right before we broke up for good, but I'm glad I didn't because it would've prolonged the fact that we needed to breakup.

    You can still be a very independent person and be in a relationship.
     
  14. jones21

    jones21 Uranium Member

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    are you fucking her properly? I really hope for your sake her break doesn't consist of 5 black guys
     
  15. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    you can break up and stay friends, if you both can manage it, but 'a break' is just a prelude to 'I've met someone else'

    Either that or she wants to try out some other guy, and will later discover he's not as good as you and want you back.
     
  16. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    or "I'm breaking up with you so I can shop around, but from your perspective we're 'on a break' so if you see other women I'll be pissed."
     
  17. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Yeah, "taking a break" just means she wants to keep you on the back burner so she doesn't have to be single if she can't find someone else to sleep with. If she needs a few days to herself, she can do that without coordinating with you first -- the only reason to coordinate with you is so she can predict if you'll go apeshit when she tells you she dated a couple other guys "but it didn't work out."
     
  18. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    Every man in this situation thinks this. "I need time to myself" is the lamest excuse in the world she can have time to herself w/o taking a break. She can take a vacation or a weekend away from you doesn't mean she has to take a break. Next she's going to tell you "but its not you its me" :mamoru:
     
  19. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Of course it's not him, it's her. It's ALWAYS the person who's making the move. Only hopeless codependents make significant changes in their lives because it suits someone else.
     
  20. Spaceering

    Spaceering I bite.

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    well if you decide to stick around and agree to the break, please let us know of the outcome. I have only ever seen a break turn into a break up, but id like an example of how a break did not turn to break up and what it was like or how it helped the relationship.
     
  21. djshotglass

    djshotglass New Member

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    it's a tarp
     
  22. johan

    johan Active Member

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    I've seen breaks get back together (temporarily).

    At which point, the original breakee says "see...we're MEANT to be together".

    A few months later though, the girl does one of the following:

    1) enough time has passed so she doesn't feel too guilty/sorry to dump him.
    2) is finally sick enough of the guy to cut all ties.
    3) has finally decided on which new guy she wants.
    4) has decided she wants many guys.

    Either way, the break finally completes it's original intended purpose and becomes a full-fledged break up.

    It's become so predictable its tiring.



    In a few rare cases, the girl and guy remain and settle for each other, b/c nothing better has come along yet.
    Remember that just being together doesn't = being happy. This is a particularly insidious form of hell.
     
  23. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    It's over.
     
  24. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Let her go. Just call it a breakup and move on, because she's over the relationship and you.
     
  25. illectronic

    illectronic I'm Coming Home OT Supporter

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    Seems like everyone else already said it. This reminded me of that seinfeld episode lol
     

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