GF spending too much time together

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by pocketkings, Sep 24, 2006.

  1. pocketkings

    pocketkings New Member

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    I moved out of my rents place in the beginning of the year into a one bedroom apartment. It is close to work for me and really close for my GF. Basically she wants to stay here most nights then after so its not as far for here to drive. Saves her about an hour one way.

    The thing is I am finding I want my privacy sometimes. Every week night and then it turns into weekends too is a bit much.

    I have hinted to this but she doesnt get it. She says if you want me to go home just say, but I think she will take it the wrong way.

    How do I word it so that she goes home the odd time? :hsd:
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    You're going to have to be direct about this. If you don't do anything because you're afraid she'll take it the wrong way, she'll keep doing it, and you will eventually get really annoyed and snap.

    Yes, it's going to hurt her feelings a little when you tell her, but she will get over it.

    I suggest making a schedule, or routine, so that she comes over on certain days, but goes to her place on other days. That way, you know when to expect her, and know when you will have time to yourself. You can make plans accordingly. Then you also won't have to deal with her calling and pulling a surprise "can I come over tonight?"

    Also, if this keeps up, her coming over could become less about seeing you, and more about saving time and not having to drive as far. You want the main focus to be on seeing you, not on your place being somewhere to stay.
     
  3. pocketkings

    pocketkings New Member

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    wow very good point man. The main focus to be me, not my place being convenient for work.

    Maybe I will suggest like Sunday evening and monday she is at home, and tues - sat here.

    I dont know why this is so tough for me.

    Its kinda like were married, yet we aren't all over each other like newly weds. she is either too tired or just not into it. :hs:
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    And unless you're willing to be at that level of togetherness, that is in no way fair for you. You don't have much time for yourself, and even when she is there, it's not about spending time with you. I'm not saying dump her or anything, but she's wasting your time doing this.

    If she's tired after work, then she should sleep at her place, and allow you to have time to do what you want or need to do. Your place is not a hotel.
     
  5. pocketkings

    pocketkings New Member

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    Great points, thank you. guess its kinda hard because we setup it up since she is here often that she buys all food and i cover mort etc.

    we will have another chat.
     
  6. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    hmm..

    well, unless you're against the idea, why not have her move in? I wasn;'t aware that she was paying the bills and stuff.
     
  7. pocketkings

    pocketkings New Member

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    my rents wouldnt approve and I am not really ready for that.
     
  8. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Ok, then you definitely need to have a talk...the current setup isn't fair for either of you.

    She's paying the bills, but you're not comfortable with her being there a lot.

    You're getting free bills, but are getting your time imposed on.

    Definitely need to change things.
     
  9. pocketkings

    pocketkings New Member

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    only buys food which we both eat.
     
  10. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    She's still providing stuff, so it's not just a simple her staying over all the time.

    I know where you are coming from though, I need my privacy every now and again and couldn't take someone hanging around for a whole week, no matter how much I liked them. I just need a break at times :)

    Let her know.

    Her never being 'in the mood' is a completely different issue, but doesn't sound fair to you. If that's how it is like now, imagine a marriage :)
     
  11. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    If you want to be alone, say "I need an alone night". Make it about you wanting time alone and not that she's bugging you. My ex and I did that and it worked well for us. We both knew not to take it personally if the other wanted to be alone.
     
  12. JJM Enterprises

    JJM Enterprises New Member

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    It looks like she's only buying the food, which pocket would obviously have to buy anyway if she wasn't there as often... so no big loss on either side.

    Out of curiosity, how old pocket? Seeing a b/f or g/f 6-7 days a week is crazy, how can you hang with friends or just relax? Plus, if you continually see the significant other, it might make your time together less meaningful... whereas if you saw each other 2-3 times a week, it would be easier to cherish it.
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    How about you go out with your friends and tell her that "hey it's a guys night." Because if you're just going home alone, and she knows it, and you don't want her there...that's a lot harder for her to take
     

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