SRS gf smoking habits

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by hatedbyall, May 8, 2006.

  1. hatedbyall

    hatedbyall New Member

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    My gf used to smoke and I eventually had er promise on our relationsip that she wouldnt smoke again.Yesterday while I was at her house she was smoking, and when I asked her about the promise on our relationship she said that she didnt care.Any help on what to do would be greatly appriciated, Thanks.
     
  2. MudFlap

    MudFlap Guest

    Talk to her, and be ready to move on
     
  3. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    If smoking is a dealbreaker for you and you made this abundantly clear when you had her promise not to, the only thing you have left to do is make good on your word (ie. end the relationship). You can still hold to your promise even if she can't hold to hers.
     
  4. bowrofl

    bowrofl New Member

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    She values smoking over you. She values smoking over her relationship.

    You should find someone who doesn't value addictions over you. Move on.
     
  5. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    :werd: and on top of that, you made her promise ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP that she wouldn't smoke. That had an implied inclusion that if she did smoke, your relationship would end. If you now back-pedal and decide to let it go, you're sending her the message that she has control over you, and that nothing you ever say should be taken seriously. You do NOT want to put yourself in that situation with her. She's already shown her true colors.
     
  6. not your average

    not your average      ¯¯¯¯ ¯¯¯¯¯ ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ OT Supporter

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    that's tough because the mental addiction is so strong that it may cause her to do such a thing as break a promise, even one that involved your relationship. ask her if she will atleast try to slow down. if you don't think she can keep a promise then that could mean other problems lie ahead, be careful but definitely sit down with her and have a talk. hope this help! :)
     
  7. PukeyCute

    PukeyCute New Member

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    It doesn't seem like there's anything you can do. She's already made her choice, so it's time to cut your losses and move on. Sorry man.
     
  8. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    She should leave you. Anyone who enters a relationship trying to change someone's habbits to conform to thier own is flat out ignorant. You knew she smoked, if you didnt think she would be laughing behind your back about "promising on your relationship" then you are fooling yourself.

    Instead of trying to change someone to your standards. Why not find someone that lives up to them already? Or do you have trouble with that?:ugh2:
     
  9. PukeyCute

    PukeyCute New Member

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    :bowdown: :werd:

    Was gonna say something similar, but figured I'd get my hide kicked for it.
     
  10. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Smoking is an addiction.

    The typical about addictions is that you can't (or very hardly) get rid of it. Despite of your best intentions you have to realise there is no 'on/off' button on the human mind, despite our willingness the constant nagging of the body eventually makes us give in "shitty system i know' but that's the way it is.

    The only thing you can do is to keep on hammering it with your gf that she needs to stop with her addiction, nicorette plasters helped for my dad, you gradually build off your addiction, its also not fair because you entered the relationship knowing about her smoking habit. So personally i think you need to stick with the relationship and help her get rid of her addiction instead of condemning it on her, or threatening to leave.
     
  11. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    She could have sworn on her mother's life, but she wouldn't have quit. That's what addictions r.
     
  12. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    People get so damn defensive about their addictions. Reality-check: addiction is not your right as an American, fuck all. You're not "giving necessary space" to someone by silently letting them choke on smoke all day. This whole standing aside thing, all this rhetoric about "letting people be," makes a virtue out of vice. The hell with that. Know what? Uncontrollable habits should be invasively modified. Get in there, and help your loved one(s) stop smoking.
     
  13. machibear

    machibear New Member

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    I am not surprised at all at her response. Smoking is a huge addiction because not only is the cigarette that they are smoking, a lot smokers use that time to think about things during the day and such. Often it is the prefect break because it ranges about 10 minutes of the day. I am not a smoker, but this is what I get from them. You can perhaps find substitutes for her in order to help her quit, like lollypops that last around the same time frame. I think DE's suggestion on patches is also a good one to help with the cravings.
     
  14. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Forget about her for a second. Do you want a relationship with someone who will likely smoke for a long time in the future? Is this a lifestyle you want? If the answer is no, make it clear to her, and say your goodbyes. You must have standards.
     
  15. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    wow, you live in your own little happy universe dont ya?

    Reality-Check: Its no ones right to say anything about what someone else puts into thier own body. Its not your right, its not the governments right. I guess because you think something is wrong, it is, and people should have no personal rights. Im sickened to know people think like that :ugh:
     
  16. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    :ugh: What does what I think have to do with this? If it's wrong, it's wrong without my help. Sure, hurt yourself, but if I love you, don't expect me to stand by idly and watch you do it.
     
  17. hatedbyall

    hatedbyall New Member

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    I love her to much to break up with her.

    for once I have found a gf that has made me want to commit suicide.

    And I gave something up for her but she doesn't realize how big it was to me, I stopped eating anything that has tomatoes in it, but that was basically all that I ever
     
  18. verveintuition

    verveintuition New Member

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    As plenty have said, smoking is an addiction. And like any addiction, the person has to quit for themselves, not for you.
    It won't work if they promise on ....such and such. They have to work on it for them, because they're the one they have to answer to at the end of the day.


    However, if smoking is a dealbreaker for you, and it sounds like it is, hit the road.
    It's not one of those relationship compromises, it's a health hazard. Everyone has something that's a dealbreaker.
     
  19. verveintuition

    verveintuition New Member

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    Um...what's the deal with the tomatoes? Are you allergic to them or dislike the taste yourself?

    Because that's the ONLY reasons why you should've "given them up".
    How old are you guys?
     
  20. hatedbyall

    hatedbyall New Member

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    she is highly allergic to them
     
  21. jared_IRL

    jared_IRL OT Supporter

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    what does that mean!?!?

    I'm getting married in less than a month. I'll be with my soon to be wife for the rest of my life.

    She's NEVER made me want to commit suicide. EVER!

    I've also been through a ton of failed relationships. If theres one difference between the one i'm in now and the rest of em, it's that I now feel like I have a partner. Someone who is on my side, who I can count on, and who has the same goals, aspirations and love for life that I do. We WANT to do things for each other, and we take pride in being able to help the other achieve things they want in life.

    Which is the complete opposite of the way you've described your relationship.

    Take that for what you will.
     
  22. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    If you're seriously that dumb, I say you go through with your desire. :ugh:

    I'm sorry, but even Ray Charles can see that this relationship isn't going to work; and he's a dead blind man!! :noes:
     
  23. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    why would u ever b with someone who evoked suicidal feelings in you?
     
  24. hatedbyall

    hatedbyall New Member

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    who didn't know ray charles was dead and blind

    She doesn't make me want to commit suicide, I did in my past(a lot of times I was almost gone) but now that I have started dating her I have lost all urge to just splatter my guts all over some rocks
     
  25. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    loving someone because they cure your depression makes your love more selfish than loving someone because they are amazing
     

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