SRS GF showing signs of a gambeling addiction (anonymous thread)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Darketernal, Apr 15, 2010.

  1. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Alright. I'd like to start out by saying that nothing she is currently doing (gambeling wise) is a problem. My problem comes from that fact that I'm not sure where it is going to one day end up.

    Alright so. My girlfriend has worked at a gas station for the passed few months until she found a new job. And it seems that at least 3/5 nights she comes home with over ten dollars worth of scratch tickets. She justifies it to me by saying she never goes out so this is her way of having a little fun.

    Fair enough. I can understand that. But at the same time, she'll get her paycheck, pay her bills that she needs to then the rest seems to go to lottery tickets. Now this isnt really a problem up until four days before her paycheck comes and she has no gas, no food, and no money.

    Then it's all eyes on me, or her mom. And her mom is the real reason for my concern. That woman GAMBLES. I mean rediculously. But she has a fantastic job and can afford to blow a couple hundred dollars a week at the bar machines. My girlfriend cant. And it seems whenever she is out of money, and cant get it out of me, she'll run straight to her mom who will give her the money no questions asked.

    Now my gf just started her new job where she will be making a good amount of money. But my concern is she wont be using this money to get ahead on her bills, but rather on further gambeling.

    I plan on moving in with her in two months when her lease is up on her place. Which is why my concern is growing. She isnt nearly at the point where its a full blow problem. I just want to know if I'm being crazy, if I should just let her have her fun and it probably wont go any further than a few scratch offs. Or if my concern is legit and I should take more drastics steps.

    And yes I've talked to her about it, like I said she rationalized it as her spending money instead of going out.
     
  2. Bacardi 151

    Bacardi 151 New Member

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    Sounds like a problem. I would suggest working this out before moving in together or things will get worse.
     
  3. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

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    Well if your suppose to move in with her I'd just straight up tell her that while you don't see it as an issue now you can't have her coming to you to ask for money because she has none and you don't want to be rooming with someone who can't take care of their half of the bills. I'd tell her that if she wants you'd more than happy to help her budget her money and do totally understand paying yourself as well as paying bills when you get money, but as she is a grown up some times you can't have everything you want and can only have what you can afford.
     
  4. GFlem

    GFlem New Member

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    If she's ever run out of money and FOOD for the sake of scratch-offs, it's become a major problem.

    Imagine how poorly-off she'd be if mommy wasn't there to enable her.

    Girl needs help, probably professional help.
     
  5. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    :werd:
     
  6. erynne936

    erynne936 my av is a car, but i'm a girl. stop calling me b OT Supporter

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    maybe she won't buy nearly as many scratch tickets because she won't be at the gas station with them right in front of her? when i worked in a supermarket i would often buy a powerball ticket because i was buying a snack or cashing my check at customer service... they were right there... but after i left that job i never really bought any. :dunno:
     
  7. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Don't move in with her until she's had some lessons in managing her finances. Even if she wasn't blowing money on scratch and wins, the fact that she's blowing money on ANYTHING and coming up short before the next paycheck is a red flag. If she doesn't learn to manage her money without leaning on others (ie. mom), guess who she'll be looking to when you live together... that's right - you!

    Maintaining separate bills for food, etc while living together in a conjugal state puts additional strain on the relationship. Not saying you shouldn't be putting in equal shares, but if you refuse to support her when she falls into this hole she's made for herself, you're going to look like an asshole regardless of whether you're right to do so.
     
  8. P-chan

    P-chan New Member

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    If you're decent with money, you should have a talk with her about how the money will be managed if you move in together (and yes, that's exactly how I would put it - *IF* you move in together).

    The way I did it is that my wife and I have three checking accounts - one for her, one for me, and one that's a joint account. We each have a small % (2-4%) of our paycheck going into our own private checking account, and the remainder goes into the joint account. This way, we each have our own "fuck around" money, and everything else is to pay for the essentials - food, bills, gas, etc, and the remainder each month goes into savings.

    If we go out to eat together, we use the joint account. If I go out by myself or with the guys, I use my own account. It's very rare that I pull out that "joint" account card unless I'm getting gas. I've pretty much never had an issue with money management doing things this way, and at the same time that it allows for a little financial accountability (each of you can see what's going on with the joint account), it also allows for a little financial freedom (you each have your own money).
     
  9. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    your girlfriend will have no incentive to change until she is forced to face the consequences of her actions

    i remember losing so much money on blackjack when i was in college that i had to sell my nice home theatre setup to pay my rent. you can damn well believe i never again gambled the rent money
     
  10. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    he said she comes home with $10 worth of scratchers almost every day she works, which is a lot different than buying 1 powerball ticket

    if you buy one powerball ticket each drawing its only like $8 per month
     
  11. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

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    sounds like it's making her life unmanagable and you are enabling the behavior
     
  12. gummypoop

    gummypoop New Member

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    sounds like a situation of the frog in the boiling pot. it will only get worse for sure.

    plus chances are, your girlfriend will lose money in the long run because the odds are always stacked against her and she will try to "chase back" her loss. the lottery is for people who are bad at math. tell her to stop it and stop it now.
     
  13. erynne936

    erynne936 my av is a car, but i'm a girl. stop calling me b OT Supporter

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    right, i just mean... is she going to go out of her way to go a gas station every day and buy 10 scratch tickets if she doesn't work there? not saying she doesn't have a problem, but just wondering if the change in workplace will maybe help?
     
  14. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    That's pretty much all you need to tell her to justify not moving in with her. "I don't feel comfortable with living with someone who has run into the issue of not having enough money to buy food when necessary".
     

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