GF question

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by pocketkings, Jan 26, 2007.

  1. pocketkings

    pocketkings New Member

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    Been with my current GF for approx 2 years. Things are good but not perfect. I find she is down alot from work and no matter what I do or say she continues to be down. It's depressing when she comes over to my place sometimes throughout the week and just mopes on the couch.

    Maybe we are becoming complacent but I find that the spark just isn't there anymore. The big sign in my eyes is that I am not really thinking about marriage or wanting to buy her a ring... At 26 and 2 yr relationship I thought I would be leaning in this direction.

    I find myself looking at other girls alot more now, and they are more into me. I have about 4 interested in me now. 3 I dated previously and 1 new girl, who ive been chattin to.

    Bottom line is I am not getting the strong feeling that she is the one. I know the obvious answer is move on, but I dont want to lose someone I love and regret it...

    :hs:
     
  2. pocketkings

    pocketkings New Member

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    anyone else been in this situation before?

    If life is like this now before marriage, I am affraid marriage would just be a bore...

    Her sex drive isn't nearly as high as mine, and she can't go for long either.
     
  3. Kreigore

    Kreigore New Member

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    I can understand where you are coming from.

    It seems like you've already come to a conclusion, somewhat. You realize things aren't there or what they used to be, so you've casually talked to some other girls and they seem cool. I've been there.

    What do/did you say to her when she was down? When my girlfriend was down, I would try to cheer her up, but sometimes that wouldn't work and slowly I would become angry or upset. It would only make the situation worse. Let her go, let her mend on her own.

    See if she wants to talk about it and if she does -- be there for her. If she doesn't talk about it, just understand that she may need time. If she always keeps it inside, it would probably send me a red flag. :dunno:
     
  4. pocketkings

    pocketkings New Member

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    thanks for the reply..

    i think the work thing is only one part of it. Her whole deal is that she doesnt know what she wants to do for the rest of her life. She hates her job but needs it right now. It kinda brings us both down at some points.

    My main point is I guess I am just not feeling it. It being marriage, for the rest of our lives and I thought I should be at this point in our relationship. :hsd:
     
  5. StopDrop&LOL

    StopDrop&LOL "Where The Elite Become Champions"

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    I thought the same shit. I was in the same exact situation. Mine was 3.5 years though and the sex was good. I just didnt see it going anywhere. It feels really good to know that i fucken wasted 3.5 years of my life. I could of used those years to find someone better for me.

    You deserve the best man. If your already feeling this way about her and are already looking elsewhere, thats not good. It seems like subconsciously you dont want to be with her, but are afraid of letting her go. If you really want to be with her, the only thing you can do is sit down and have a talk...a serious talk.
     
  6. pocketkings

    pocketkings New Member

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    Gotcha. What did you end up doing? serious talk or just leave?
     
  7. pocketkings

    pocketkings New Member

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    I hate this feeling. Its like its perfect for just dating and a relationship. But thinking about forever, I am just not certain. I am I not leaning in the direction with her like most people my age are. I guess I am answering my own questions here.
     
  8. StopDrop&LOL

    StopDrop&LOL "Where The Elite Become Champions"

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    My ex was very difficult when it came to communication. More so on her part. One day, i was just like "you know what, this is never going to work out. Im tired of trying to fix things." I told her i needed a break. I ignored her at first. After that, she came over and she was like "i wanna see what else is out there to make sure youre the one" :ugh: I said "ok, i understand" :wavey:. Changed my number avoided all contact. It was tough, because she would come over once every 3-4 weeks or so. I still think about her, but im over her. I couldnt ever get back with her. Im better off because of this decision i made.

    I just got tired of investing so much time and effort into something i knew that wasnt going to last. I dont have time for people like her who just wanted to keep me in the dark. The point of relationships are to find someone you love and possibly marry. I would have liked that, but i didnt see it happening, so i told her to pack her bags and hit the road
     
  9. pocketkings

    pocketkings New Member

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    ya things arent that bad on my side. our communication is pretty good actually. just not feeling "it" for some reason.. Like i can do slightly better you know.
     
  10. LBFilmGuy

    LBFilmGuy LOL why u mad tho?

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    you forgot one minor detail :sadwavey:
     
  11. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Marriage isn't exactly supposed to be exciting. :)
     
  12. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    That's correct.

    You have to take this one day at a time.

    If your feelings aren't they for her anymore then you have to do what you feel is right for the both of you!

    Don't cheat! That's the only thing I would say.

    If you feel like it's going to come down to that then break it off!
     
  13. StopDrop&LOL

    StopDrop&LOL "Where The Elite Become Champions"

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    what? im moved on...just trying to help pocketkings out :)
     
  14. LBFilmGuy

    LBFilmGuy LOL why u mad tho?

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    haha i know...but you had very good reason to end yours
     
  15. StopDrop&LOL

    StopDrop&LOL "Where The Elite Become Champions"

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    :o
     
  16. pocketkings

    pocketkings New Member

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    what was the reason?

    My GF has more of a sexual past than I do, which I am fine with. However she is my first, and I think i want to experience other females before settling down. I wonder if there is a way to break up nicely with the possiblity of getting back together later on if the stars line up.

    Probably impossible I know, I just feel I am not ready to marry yet and that is what I should be feelin at this point. Maybe it is because I feel I havent lived enough to settle down yet..:o
     
  17. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    Have you seem whether or not she has something affecting her? Maybe she is depressed about something?

    or by moping do you mean just being boring?
     
  18. Lateralus

    Lateralus New Member

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    You're answering your own questions here, you know you're not happy being with her so why keep wasting time being miserable?
     
  19. pocketkings

    pocketkings New Member

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    i think she is depressed because she doesn't know what she wants to do workwise for the rest of her life. she is really unhappy working where she is right now.

    The main thing that bothers me is that I know she was more sexually active in her past relationships. We have talked about it all, and it just seems that she has done that in the past and is through with it. She is good with just doing it the odd time at night...she use to wear lingerie for me in the beginning, i ask her to now and her response is its too much work and its just going to come off anyway. :ugh:
     
  20. pocketkings

    pocketkings New Member

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    it also seems that me complaining about it doesnt seem like a big enough deal to her. She knows it bothers me, but probably doesnt think I would ever leave her over it.

    The biggest reason I dont understand it is that ALL her ex's cheated on her in the past. I really dont understand why she wouldnt want to go the extra mile to please her man. I have no problem going out of my way to please my woman..
     
  21. pocketkings

    pocketkings New Member

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    interesting..thanks for the reply and I am glad u are happy now.. :)
     
  22. iiibuzzz

    iiibuzzz Oh hai internutz.

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    Try to hash it out with a talk, telling her that you feel unsatisfied, if nothing changes, end it and move on until you do feel fullfilled. It's hard to do, but there's more to life than one gal... you'll see.
     
  23. pocketkings

    pocketkings New Member

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    i know. i just feel shallow leaving for that reason..:hs:
     
  24. pocketkings

    pocketkings New Member

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    what wasnt right? was it sexually related at all?
     
  25. pigeon

    pigeon wasabi

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    two pages and i really only read what you wrote initially. it sounds like you're saying "we've been together 2 years, i'm 26 and i "should" want to be married right now" but at the same time you're not feeling it with the girl you're dating right now - so what's wrong with breaking it off? i know you said you don't want to lose someone you love, but if you're really not feeling it, it's not fair to you or her or any potential kids created in said marriage if y'all really don't want to be together. the more commitment you make with her, when you really don't want to, the more you'll regret it and resent her.
     

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