GF question

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Jackal, Dec 9, 2005.

  1. Jackal

    Jackal New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2004
    Messages:
    109
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ok here's the scoop. I've been dating this girl for sometime now and I'm totally crazy about her. But there's one thing that is starting to make me upset and I don't know how to bring it up to her without making it an issue or getting her mad at me. She only wants sex, which there is not one complaint here, but on the outside she acts like this sex crazed girl. Now when it comes time for it, it becomes all about her. Such as I always have to be on top. Well this gets boring after awhile, and i have a broken back which means anytime i do this I am in undescribable pain for the next day. Because of this, she does get on top at times. Now she has issues with doing other things, like oral sex. So I was like no biggie, whenever you feel comfortable and trust me, take your time. Well she now tells me shes very comfortable with me and trusts me more than anyone, but yet nothing. The other night I broke the ice, I went down on her and she enjoyed it. After it was done I thought, my turn...wrong she wanted sex, which we had. Then she comes over tonight, wont let me touch her, but she does everything in the world to get me going. Then says she wants sex and I said something to which it took her 15mins but she finally figured out that I would like her to go down on me. Well she joked around with me calling me an ass and a horn ball. Then she said well I dont like doing it when I have a stuffy nose. Then she just decided she was tired and went to sleep. I was like WTF!?!?! She's like I want to cuddle, and I was like how is this fair? She honestly couldnt figure out what i was talking about. Then she got up to leave and she looks at me and is like you like mad, are you made at me? I just replied well, why would I be mad at you? She just said I dunno, you just look mad, and then she left my house. I've been patient, and not getting this is not much of an issue. It is very frustrating, and I dont know what else to say. Sorry for the long post




    Cliffs
    ~GF just wants sex(Not Complaining About This), and wants me to do all the work
    ~I have a broken back, which limits me to what I can do
    ~I'll go down on her, she wont go down on me, excuses herself with stuffy nose
    ~I'm Fustrated, confused, and tired of having to do all the work, and when she does something she seldom finishes the job.
    ~Dumping her is not an answer cause I do care for her very much.
    Thanks
     
  2. Tex

    Tex Now with avatar™

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2003
    Messages:
    1,549
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    Your girlfriend is an indescribably selfish and inconsiderate bitch. Honestly, I'm appalled. You have a broken back and she makes you get on top?!?! :eek3:

    Seriously man, I don't want to sound like a misogynist, but set this bitch straight! Don't put up with this shit. I'd suggest at least opening your mind to the idea of breaking up with her, just in case she is unwilling to change. Why would you want to be in a relationship like that? She will soak up whatever you give her like a sponge. FUCK THAT NOISE.
     
  3. Jackal

    Jackal New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2004
    Messages:
    109
    Likes Received:
    0
    yea i know, i just dont know how to approach her on the subject. She had some bad shit happen to her in the past with other males and that has kinda messed her up in some areas. i just dont want to be like i want this or else kinda thing...
    On a side note, I go into surgery in two weeks, so if anything is going to happen, it will be all up to her.
     
  4. Tex

    Tex Now with avatar™

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2003
    Messages:
    1,549
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    I can't think of anything that I would feel good about doing other than being totally straight with her about it. Tell her how it makes you feel. Sex is not about one person lying back and getting it given to them every time. That's bad enough, and that's disregarding the fact your back is FUCKING BROKEN.

    If the only thing stopping her from giving you head is a stuffy nose, buy her some tissues and nasal spray and she should have no further issues. Something tells me she's full of shit though. As far as the problems she's had with other guys, obviously I don't know the nature of those issues, and if you think that is the root cause of the problems here then maybe you want to just sit on this until after your op to give her some more time to move on. If after that she still hasn't, then maybe it's time to put it on the line and let her know how it feels. She should look in to therapy if these issues of hers are preventing her from properly functioning sexually.

    IMO though, until then, you shouldn't put yourself through the pain involved in sexing her. Let her have a couple of weeks without any dick.
     
  5. mrs0323

    mrs0323 New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2005
    Messages:
    352
    Likes Received:
    0
    I can't figure out if she's just a prick tease or a complete bitch. Broken back and she's making YOU get on and ride? I don't think so...... And despite her "previous issues" whatever the fuck they are, she needs to either discuss WHY she isn't willing to play fair or hit the road. How long specifically have you been with her?

    Sounds to me also (playing devil's advocate here) that maybe she is conflicted regarding her sexual appetite and her need for non-sexual intimacy?

    Worse comes to worse, handcuff her and stuff it down her throat.If it IS a game with her, she'll cave, if not, you should be able to tell immediately by her reaction.
     
  6. Jackal

    Jackal New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2004
    Messages:
    109
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks man, I appreciate your thoughts. I wasn't going to push the issue until my operation anyways, but since I had an opportunity last night, I just thought that time was now. Guess not. So for now I will wait and see what the next month brings. Like I said oral sex isnt the issue, its the fact of being comfortable around the other person and willing to do anything to make the other person happy. Atleast that's what I see in a two way relationship.
     
  7. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    You didn't get mad or say you wanted a blow job explicitly or express yourself; and she's not going to make it easy for you. The way you described your own feelings, it sounds like you went down on her as an implicit contractual obligation. It doesn't take someone 15 minutes to figure out what you're saying if you actually go out and say it. Basically, my advice is that in the future, with her and with everybody, you say what you want when you want it.

    I actually sympathize with your girlfriend, because of my ex-gf. She would try to make me guess what was upsetting her. Then I would get very very very stupid all of a sudden until she stopped playing games and became upfront.
     
  8. Jackal

    Jackal New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2004
    Messages:
    109
    Likes Received:
    0
    What do you mean by that? And by all means, play devil's advocate. Also, it's funny that you say the handcuff thing cause she's always wanting me to buy a set so she can then "tie" me up. Also, she does talk to me a lot like "Oh, you just wait, I'm gonna rape the living hell out of you when we get home." But ya, your replies are giving me a different insight on this. As far as therapy goes, i know she went, but for how long and what about she wont talk too much to me about that.
     
  9. Jackal

    Jackal New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2004
    Messages:
    109
    Likes Received:
    0
    Actually, when i went down on her its because i wanted to thats all. As far as tonight she started acting weird, and did the im tired thing and was acting as if something was upsetting her. Which then she would tell me dont worry about it and shell figure it out. It's not like I sat in the corner weeping and was like im upset with you and I wont tell her why. She by all means knew what I wanted, because at the point where she starting joking around with me, I asid something back to her like ya ya, I want to see your skills now.
     
  10. mrs0323

    mrs0323 New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2005
    Messages:
    352
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ok, maybe she's not really being spiteful or trying to be a tease but she is torn between her big time sexual desire and her wanting to feel safe, comforted, intimately connected WITHOUT being sexually connected during the same interlude. This whole thing of making YOU do the majority of the work, of her unwillingness to reciprocate could be her way of keeping you at arm's length due to her previous experiences. Kinda like " I'll frustrate the shit out of him and NOT give him what he wants since he's gonna screw me over in the long run". Self preservation mode. I was real good at that, being a complete fuck queen but never letting anyone get too close and what she's doing sounds painfully familiar to me. And the whole "rape the living hell out of you" comment, her way of being the hard-nosed bitch but at the same time, her wanting to cuddle the other night, something was breaking in her and she was fighting it hard. Does that make any sense?
     
  11. Sionell89

    Sionell89 I grew up when I wasn't looking

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2001
    Messages:
    1,074
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Flori-duh
    Nope, don't sound like one at all. Sounds like you have a dead on assessment of the situation and gave good advice.

    A couple of thoughts on the oral. It's hard to give good head when you can't breathe, drugs or no. However, there is the lollypop technique. Feels good for the guy but you don't have to worry about running out of air. So if you can live without getting swallowed, there are choices.

    Another thing is odor. Powder is your friend, especially if you wear briefs. A little shake in the morning, a little shake at night, it makes a difference. As does what you eat. If you live on fried foods, you probably taste lousy. Not saying you should make a steady diet of pineapple juice, just fried foods really makes pungent cum. My hubby got a lot more head once he cut out the chicken patties and tater tots.
     
  12. Jackal

    Jackal New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2004
    Messages:
    109
    Likes Received:
    0
    mrs0323, that makes tons of sense. You were able to explain what I've been thinking in my head, but I couldnt make any sense of it. Thanks to everyone.
     
  13. Jackal

    Jackal New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2004
    Messages:
    109
    Likes Received:
    0
    If that was a concern I would take care of that ASAP. I'm a clean person, plus I eat healthy for two reasons. I hate fast/fried foods, and secondly, eating healthy will hopefully allow me to recover faster after my operation. All those vitamins and stuff haha.
     
  14. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

    Joined:
    May 29, 2000
    Messages:
    49,189
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    Well at least now you know what it's like to be a chick. :mamoru: Usually it's the guy always begging for head and the chick not getting anything out of it. Besides, if you really were going down on her because you wanted to then it wouldn't matter if she gave you head later or not. Maybe she doesn't like giving head or has never done it before or she's just not ready to do it yet. Being in a relationship doesn't mean that you HAVE to give the person head. And yeah that really sucks about your back because the guy on top is by faaaaaaar the best position. If you have such a problem with the stuff she's doing though, JUST TALK TO HER ABOUT IT. Don't be afraid of making her mad, that just makes you look like a pussy. You need to be a man and talk to her about it if it bothers you.
     

Share This Page