SRS GF Problems...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by nsane, Apr 21, 2008.

  1. nsane

    nsane New Member

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    Background: I've been dating my current GF since my senior year of highschool; we've been together for about 3.5 years. It's been LDR since I graduated from HS (she's 2 years younger than I am) - the first 2 years she was about 4 hours away and I'd see her every other weekend. The last year she's been going to school about 1.5 hours away from where I go to school. We've been seeing each other pretty often... but now, there are problems.

    The last time I saw my girlfriend was on April 4th. I left with the understanding that she'd be coming to see me the following weekend. Because of commitments we had made, we knew we'd be unable to see each other for a few weeks after that so it was important. We didn't talk about her coming down after that day until Wednesday or Thursday. When I brought it up, she said she had plans to go to out with some friends Saturday night. Apparently she thought we didn't have plans... wtf right? I wasn't able to leave town that weekend, so we didn't see each other.

    Saturday night I get this message on facebook from her:
    We talk on the phone a few days later about how things are weird and how we wish we could see each other, etc... But she's going to another college town with some friends. Well, for the most part we were ok with it - I had 2 friends turning 21 so we'd be out at bars that she couldn't get into anyways.

    Well, Friday night I got invited to go to the same town to continue the birthday celebrations on Saturday... I accept, thinking I might be able to see the GF while I'm there. (In fact, I made the decision that if I made the trip there and she couldn't make the effort to meet up for even just a little bit, it'd be over) I let her know I'm coming and she starts acting all weird - saying it would be awkward for her to have a guest over since she was a guest too. Anyways, I get into town at 5 or so, and sit around doing nothing for 3 hours. I figured she might come around and actually want to see me, so I wait.

    The night eventually comes (we'd been texting back and forth, so there wasn't a drop in communication or anything), and I ask her where she is so I can at least say hi since we haven't seen each other for quite a while. She won't tell me, she's getting bitchy, whatever. She reminds me I don't have a car, I let her know I'm in a cab so it doesn't matter, etc. I end up going to the bars with my friends, getting mad and texting her and stuff.

    Ok... so that's a lot of reading... but you're now caught up on what I think is the last straw in this relationship.

    I'm just going to rant ... I need someone to tell this to.

    My GF can be quite a bitch. She's really bitchy, really often. Her friends ask her why she's so mean to me. I tell her to be less bitchy, to be nicer, to respect me, and it'll get better for a while but she usually flips back to the bitchy self. (Keep in mind I'm mad, so certain things are amplified in my mind. Really she's not that much of a bitch, but it's getting old). She does immature shit - she doesn't keep her word, she's financially irresponsible and always complains about having no money. Yet she still buys expensive shoes, goes out on the weekends, and does not make any effort to get a job. She steals stuff from Walmart. This is like the pinnacle of trashiness. I let her know this doesn't reflect well on her, but I feel like when I'm in there with her I need to watch her like a hawk. She's been gaining weight ever since she graduated highschool - I'm not talking constantly gaining, but like going from 150 to 170 and staying around there. She's always on a diet or trying to lose weight (which keeps us from going to dinner or getting coffee or whatever), but she'll do all that shit with her friends. I'll go to eat with her in her dorm and she'll get "only 1 cookie and a little bit of icecream!" which apparently makes it ok. The weight issue is a big source of insecurity for her - which eats into our sex life and her ability to accept compliments. She's good looking, but she's convinced she's fat (which ok, she's fat but borderline) and that she can't show her body to me. Yet she'll still get up in the morning and start eating CANDY before breakfast / brushing teeth / anything. She just doesn't get it - that's not how it works! You don't keep eating shit and expect to lose weight! 2 weeks ago she started the south beach diet... surprise surprise she was already "cheating" 5 days later. She cheats on tests in her classes. She stopped taking the pill because it was too expensive ($10/month...), said she'd take it again if I paid half so I did, she took it for a month and stopped completely. She used to be crazy about sex, and now she is just meh. She has still never had an orgasm (which one could fault me for, she's my first, but seriously...), she's gotten into this weird phase of hitting (or trying to) me in the balls. She feels so bad about not being able to see me, but then when I put forth effort to see her, she can't match me at all, not even to see me for 15 minutes. I could have met her friends, problem solved, no more awkwardness. She has this weird thing about things being awkward - it'll keep her from doing so much stuff.

    Anyways, thanks for reading. Saturday night, I (drunkenly) broke up with her. Or at least I tried. (I know from reading this post I sound like a pushover at best, and like I'm totally whipped - but I've definitely got my own life and I keep her in check). I'm like... afraid to finally call it quits. We've had rough patches in the past, and things get better. I usually like her. Right now I'm in a situation where I can just say I was drunk, oops, hehe and probably pull things back together - but I don't think that's what I truly want. That's what short-term me wants. But in the grand scope of things, there's no way I can marry this girl (maybe that's just my 21 year old mentality) (no, I don't sit around thinking about getting married... but when you're in a relationship this long at this time in your life, you've got to consider the viability of the relationship itself).

    Short-term me also realizes that I'm at a school with a notoriously high guy to girl (3:1) ratio and the chances of me finding someone seem slim. After my trip to the out of town bars last night, I can attest to the fact that my school has no hot girl club scene going on at all (yes, I realize this sounds shallow). Long term me recognizes the need for change. I know that it would be wrong to 'use' her for the next few months (and that I'd get more attached), so I just need to make up my mind. Either get things over with, or keep trudging along.

    Breaking up is going to be suckage - we have a decent amount of mutual friends, which will make it interesting. Anyhow... OT... talk to me.

    Oh, and thanks for reading. :wtc:
     
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2008
  2. nsane

    nsane New Member

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    Also, about 2 years ago something similar happened and I started breaking up but we got back together about 2 weeks later.
     
  3. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    that sounds horrible man you and any other human being deserves better break it off itl hurt like hell but youl be a better person because of it is a :wtc: situation but i think you can get through it no doubt it will be difficult and take time but it will better your life and you as a person :sadwavey: good luck
    EDIT: on 2nd thought have you two talked about it?
     
  4. nsane

    nsane New Member

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    We haven't talked... yet. My phone was dead in the morning and I've been avoiding it all day. We're going to talk tomorrow.

    Also, you say I deserve better, but you have to realize the picture I've painted is also a reflection of my mood... so things might be exaggerated, or I'm finding it easy to think of bad things about her... When I go back and read my post, what you said is my first thought... but actually being in the situation, it doesn't seem as bad as what I've written... might just be my perspective though.
     
  5. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    very true we shall c 2moro i am going to bed we shall chat again 2moro peace :hsd:
     
  6. Matrix0507

    Matrix0507 New Member

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    The whole hitting you in the balls "phase" is worrisome to me...is she in the 3rd grade? There has to be a better way to get attention from you than trying to cause physical harm...can you imagine how she'd feel if you started hitting her in the tits?
     
  7. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    I stopped reading when I hit that point. If she's truly a bitch, why the hell would you stay with her so long?

    Edit: Read some more of your complaints: Again, why was she worth staying with for so long?
     
  8. nsane

    nsane New Member

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    I know, right? After I read it, I think the same thing... makes me wonder why I haven't gotten here before...
     
  9. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    well i think you know what you have to do
     

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