SRS gf problems, dunno what to do(help plz)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Helmet, Oct 13, 2007.

  1. Helmet

    Helmet New Member

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    hey everyone. seems like i only come on these forums for advice. this could be a long one.
    well i have with my gf for almost 9months. they have been fine but we have had our bumps. shes very organized plans ahead and lives life very schedualed. im laid back and just love to relax. well i have always been attracted to her mentally. shes really smart and i love that. shes gonna be someone someday. shes a big girl but cute.

    she moves really fast though, at about 4-5months she was saying she wants a baby with me. then about how it would be nice to get married. and about 2 months ago about how she wants to move out togeter. me at 1st i was like "whah" but then accepted it. she really wants to be involved with everything. she was all sad because she hadent met my parents and how we dont hang out with my friends. i hardly hang out with them other then my best bud. shes also carried alot of bagage. her longest relationship was 6months. her last 2 bfs were dicks telling her shes fat, she cant get on them in bed because shes too heavy and just puting her down.

    but shes such a great gal. soo nice soo supportive. our 1st 5months it was about her forgetting all that stuff and feeling good about herself. shes great but i dont know i feel like im kinda missing out on stuff. im 22 shes 25. and id like alot of personal space. but when i dont see her for like 2-3days shes doesnt say shes sad or whatever upfront but makes smart ass comments. its like i wanna be with her and i dont. she loves me. do i love her? i really dont know. i do miss her and i love seeing her happy. but i dunno. we've gotten into a few fights the last 3 months. at 1st we would argue about not hanging out with my friends and if i was embarrased of her. then about 3 months ago about me having to be somewhere and i overslept. we almost brokeup a month ago because we had miss communication and i thought she said something. we argued for awhile almost broke up.

    now we argued today because shes been sad i was over and left . and she said that i only spent little time with her this week. she cried when i left. things just escaladed abit.which i do understand was my fault abit. she says shes not emotional or needy but idk. she is kinda emotional, frequently sad about being "fat" stressing herself out alot, calling hwrself ugly. and she needy as in with my time guess. its like if i dont see her for a couple days shes sad. she doesnt say it but i can tell. shes my 1st real gf. this is her longest relationship. well i just dont know. she is the best total gf material but i just dunno.

    ive had chances to let her go but i just cant do it. thinking of her with someone else makes me feel bad. at about month 4 she offered to have an open relationship, she stay ith me but i can sleep with other girls. because we had a discussion and she got sad because i told her another girl i had was the best at something. i just dunno, any opinions?
    btw thanx for reading all my problems

    mod edit: i created some paragraphs, please take our poor eyes into consideration :'(
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 13, 2007
  2. Seeders

    Seeders OT Supporter

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    paragraphs please!

    YIKES!

    You're only 22 man! Be careful with this one. She seems to like to play a lot of games. I dont know about you, but I cant stand that.

    Perhaps try taking a break and see how it makes you feel? You run the risk of it destroying the relationship completely...but its up to you to decide if you want to take it.
     
  3. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Honestly? It sounds a bit like the relationship is going downhill.

    What struck me the most was how she offered to have an open relationship. That's sad man. That means that she was trying to buy or win your affection...she thought you weren't happy, so instead of dealing with the problem, she BEGGED you to stay with her if you could sleep with others.

    I see this girl as getting way too clingy and needy. I'd honestly break up with her if you two aren't happy anymore. Sounds like you have enoug doubts right now that it probably won't work out.
     
  4. johan

    johan Active Member

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    I really don't think she is capable of addressing her own emotional needs, and it would not be a wise decision to have children with her at this time.


    If you want to stay with her, that's ok, but NO KIDS!
    You understand why this would be a really bad choice for you, for her, and especially for the kids?

    Parenting means looking after the kids and helping them grow.
    There's a lot more to it than just the basics of diapers and formula.

    She's barely dealt with her own personal troubles, and certainly is in no condition to be shaping. providing for, and GUIDING new young minds.



    And honestly? I'd break up with her, although I'll stop short of making that a definite.

    What is definite? NO KIDS!
     
  5. 2500

    2500 Guest

    heres how i see it. her past relationships were junk. the guys were mean, shes been hurt over and over again. this chic is willing to do anything, including letting you sleep with other chics just to keep you. she feels rushing into making babies will make your relationship.... stuck. like, "stay together for the kids." ya know? she found someone who doesn't make her feel bad, and shes trying to get as much... commiting things as possible so she doesn't lose you. kids, marraige, wants you to sleep around instead of leaving her. i see clingy, annoying, and maybe some stalker in your future.

    my advice.... be opened and honest with her. i'd say "look, i think this whole kids and marraige thing is because your expecting to be let down again and you might want kids or marraige because you feel it will keep us together. i really do like you, and i want to be with you, but i need you to trust me that i'm not like the other guys, and i won't disrespect you, and i won't let you down wether we have kids and are married or not. lets just take it slow, enjoy our time with each other, and we'll see where the relationship takes us." and let her know to never take any feelings or thoughts over from other relationships. maybe her jerk BFs didn't take her in public because they were embarassed.... but you have to assure her your not like that, and to not worry about the things she did with the other guys with you.
     

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