SRS gf of 2 years wants to take a break

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by energie, May 22, 2008.

  1. energie

    energie I like to place an order.. the name? Situation the

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2006
    Messages:
    5,753
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    oilcity alberta
    :wtc: i dunno what to do, I dont date and this is the first girl ive dated in along time (2 years), she wants to take a break and said we should because its been rocky/wierd for awhile. And i agree that it has but just seems wierd i thought we were taking a break but she broke up with me on facebook :)mamoru:)



    and i awlays though that taking a break = together still but no talking/seeing each other for awhile and still together


    breaking up = no talkign seeing each other but not together..


    it just sorta hit me, we still love each other but im going through a hard time (work + pressure + emotional problems) have been stressing me out lately and she believes that she been mistreating and taking me for granted so wanted a braek to think about everything.


    the worst thing is that its her grad in 2 weeks, and our anniversy on saturday.

    so i feel horrible cause i feel like i caused all these problems cause she's usually happy when im happy and i guess the last 4-5 days before we decided to take a break :hsugh: got to her and she realized all this.


    I dont know what to do or get my mind off things. I work and workout and usually kill 12 hours of the day betweenmy summer job + running company + working out

    but for the other 4-5 hours i have before i go sleep i constantly question what I did wrong and why I'm like this.


    The stress is coming from working 10 hour days at my summer labor job, then running to do my business work (part time but only can do it till 7pm its good money and my parents and I own the company so i cant say i quit), the pressure from my parents seems like I should be running the business

    I do all the deposits, keep track of the books (going to 3rd year accounting) do all the remittance/payroll/invoicing


    and it seems like my gf wasbored of me so that finally got to me and i was looking at pictures and found out some guy that she's known since jr high was talking to her fine and ti seemed like she was flirting with him (ex: too bad i wasnt there i could of been ur grad date, complimented him on how he looked at grad) And the fact her ex bf/guys always try to hit on her and talk.


    I know shes faithful and loves me but i guess im scared of losing her cause im uncomfortable with myself.


    and the emotional problem stems from me being scared of losing her to guys that are better looking (not that im hideous) + accomplishg (1 guy is a jock she went out with b4 and parents like him, andn the other recently played pro soccer vs david beckham and is just a good looking dude) and the fact that I'm smaller guy. 5'6-5'7 @ 120-130 I go to the gym and workout buut havent gained much weight due to not eating enough during the school year when i started (lazy habits i cleaned up and eat alot more since starting work) Strength increased but i want the weight to icnrease too.

    (my friends sometimes make jokes or gf ocmments on me being little (my gf is smaller but its like atleast im trying to get bigger)

    Im just lost and need help with everything. I thought the gym would help but all i do is go there and question why i even do this even though it is improving me.


    help:wtc: I usual push feeling aside and dont share anything with family or friends on how i feel and find it hard to so I'd rather share with anonymous people and dont want to go see professional help.
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    Here's what you need to know. She wants to break up with you, but not cut off contact completely....she needs to keep you in her back pocket in case she gets lonely or can't get someone else she wants.

    Now that you know this, act in what manner seems best to you.
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    Put it this way, if she wants to take a "break" now instead of working through the tough times with you then you can assume she will also just give up later down the road in your relationship/marriage when tough times come up.

    Breaks are total bullshit, that's all there is to it. I'm sure you know this and just don't want to agree with it because now it's you in the position but it is truth. The fact that you have already found she's fliritng with another guy just proves that most likely her love for you was just not that strong. She is now seeing other men in a more tempting light which is typical for a "break." She basically wants to test the waters most likely and see if there is something better out there. Don't wait around for her.

    It sounds like you have a lot of issues and I'm sure she noticed this and it turned her off (like your insecurity issues with losing her). Whether you realize it or not I'm sure you said or did things over 2 years that she noticed and made her less attracted to you. Whether you were overbearing or jealous of other men I'm not sure :dunno: But I'm willing to bet that has a lot to do with it.

    I'm not trying to beat you down, just make you see. Girls are attracted to a guy who works with what he's got. In your case you are a shorter guy who is thin. You can work out all you want but that is not what she's going to be in love with. Obviously she got with you and stayed with you for 2 years, so I doubt your size is what matters to her. Seems from the start you had a complex that you weren't good enough from her, so it was doomed from the beginning.

    Is she not talking to you at all?

    You need to move on. Stop thinking of ways to win her back. You need to learn to love yourself and just be yourself. Stop trying to be who you think she wants. If she doesn't want you then she's not worth your time.

    Also, read these threads:
    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=2260146
    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=1679840
    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=1950263
    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=2654958
    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=3202256
     
  4. energie

    energie I like to place an order.. the name? Situation the

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2006
    Messages:
    5,753
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    oilcity alberta
    she was talking to me, i found out today she was talking to her exbf and i dont like him at all so now im getting kicked around


    i dont know what to do
     
  5. kristaliah

    kristaliah New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2006
    Messages:
    4,537
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Cary, NC
    I hate to say it but it's over..

    You say she's graduating college? She's ready to move on with her life and doesn't see you in it anymore. :hsd:
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    Move on. You are young, she is young. She's no longer in love. Now you have to accept that and move on with your life. :hug:

    You cannot talk to her any longer, it will only slow down the process of moving on in a healthy way.
     
  7. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2007
    Messages:
    10,437
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    The Prarie State/The Hoosier State
    :werd: :hug:
     
  8. jonno

    jonno New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2003
    Messages:
    63,823
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    fort sam
    cut all ties with her and ignore her if she contacts you. go out with friends and meet other people. use this to really focus on work/gym
     
  9. Sharpie

    Sharpie New Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2004
    Messages:
    12,216
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Seattle
    .
     
  10. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    break up. Don't give her the satisfaction of getting you without committing to you.
     
  11. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,466
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    the streets
    this is likely the major issue

    when you are scared to lose her, you act from neediness and desperation

    neediness and desperation will kill her interest in you quicker than anything else

    if you aren't willing to walk away if necessary, she has all the power and you are fucked

    i know because i've been there
     
  12. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2004
    Messages:
    11,131
    Likes Received:
    8
    Definitely. Now is the best time for self-improvement and it's also the best time to reflect.

    This is all true, especially the part I bolded.
     
  13. Martinj

    Martinj New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2006
    Messages:
    138
    Likes Received:
    0
    On the dot!

    Everyone has been there before, it all goes the same way. Just do yourself a favour and dont waste your life. Accept and move on. :wavey:
     
  14. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2008
    Messages:
    1,816
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    CdM, CA
    :hug:

    a break is just what people say when they are too scared to be completely alone. she wants you to fall back on in case things dont work for her in the single world. its not fair.

    if things have been bad lately, its probably better to just end the relationship and move forward with life. breaks rarely solve anything for people. its a sign something isnt working right in the relationship. recognize it and end things for good so you can find someone else that works better with you

    i know its hard, but you gotta be strong and cut ties with her
     
  15. Xin

    Xin OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2003
    Messages:
    100,552
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Franklin, WI
    Well, sometimes people just need space, but this doesn't seem to be the case as she's now talking to her ex b/f? Tell her that you'd like to make the break indefinitely and if you're meant to be, you'll find eachother again someday, after a true "break".
     
  16. Avenger97

    Avenger97 New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2002
    Messages:
    601
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Johnston , RI
    yea i have to agree with everyone else.. breaks are just total bullshit , and they only serve the one who started it ( the girl in this case) , she has you around to use and abuse as she sees fit , but since you are on a "break" she therefore feels totally ok for her to be out drinking/whoring around with other guys.. basically she doesnt want the relationship anymore , and your just a backup plan...

    now dont get me wrong , its not the end of the world , me and my GF did this as well , and it sucked, and sucked for a very long time. she called it a "break" too.. we still kept in contact , but both saw other people ( i know of a few on her end , and i did my share as well) and after 8 months of beating our heads against the wall , we did end up back together , after realizing what we had , and that we were good for each other. however this isnt always the case.. my GF went though some hard emotional times ( losing custody of her 5 year old , and the ensuing legal battle, coupled with most of her family abandoning her at the same time) My GF has told me many times , she was totally being self-destructive , and out of control. when she was able to get it under control and resolved , we were able to patch up our relationship and move on from there

    guess what im trying to say , is basically go do what you want to do for you.. and maybe someday in the future you guys will work things out , but dont place everything on that.. its gonna suck .. but its gonna make you stronger as well....
     
  17. piratepenguin

    piratepenguin New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2006
    Messages:
    1,067
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ireland
    Rockadot.
     
  18. energie

    energie I like to place an order.. the name? Situation the

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2006
    Messages:
    5,753
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    oilcity alberta

    thats what i think will happen but i have no clue. and yeah i can see her point of view but she isnt a slut/whore at all and only has had 3 bf's in the last 4 years. Doesnt date doesnt hookup with guys i was her 2nd sexual partner. so im not worried about her whoring around. but she does like to drink and party (she's 2 years younger)


    only time will tell, ujntil then im hitting the gym hanging out with the boys and just gonna work and see where it takes me
     
  19. bunnyblueeyes

    bunnyblueeyes New Member

    Joined:
    May 6, 2008
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    0

    I hate to say it, but it he's right...she wants that lily pad to jump back to if she needs it. Sorry dude :/
     
  20. End

    End You've got that shotgun shine

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2005
    Messages:
    9,142
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Earth
    my ex and I went on a break. after a week, i said fuck it and broke the whole thing off.
     
  21. End

    End You've got that shotgun shine

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2005
    Messages:
    9,142
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Earth
    you might as well get the heartbroken syndrome sooner than later
     
  22. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2007
    Messages:
    11,400
    Likes Received:
    0
    It's over. :(
     
  23. energie

    energie I like to place an order.. the name? Situation the

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2006
    Messages:
    5,753
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    oilcity alberta
    huge update



    so i picked her up last night :hsugh: :greddy: and we talked and she broke down crying and told her boss was blackmailing her and told her she would fire her blah blah blah and that her boss was the one that said break up with him or lose your job etc etc




    her boss is moving to her apartment but was living with my GF for meantime and i guess HATES me
     
  24. End

    End You've got that shotgun shine

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2005
    Messages:
    9,142
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Earth
    uhh is your boss into her? i dont get it

    oh fuck lol. get her a different job. jeez
     
  25. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm sorry, but if you believe that line, you are a fool. That is utter, utter bullshit.

    There is no way she can be fired for dating you... I would laugh in the person's face if someone tried to tell me that. I would then immediately document who said it, when and where they said it, so that if they did try to fire me for it, I could take it to court.

    And she was living with her boss? What the hell? Talk about conflict of interest.

    Seriously, this girl does not sound worth it at all.

    But seriously, who the fuck lets themself be blackmailed?
     

Share This Page