Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by p3nguin, Aug 19, 2007.
is this the best idea? or should i give it more time?
dont go looking for a rebound..just go out and be social with your friends for a while, get your mind off of her and eventually a new girl will just pop up.. dont just go LOOKING for a rebound.. trust me... WAYYYY too much drama
ill take your advice, i dont wanna seem desperate cause im not
no its understandable.. i think everyone goes through that phase of "i need someone RIGHT NOW just to fill the empty space" just do things you like to get your mind off of your ex and as long as your social, options WILL appear
rebounds come naturally. You will get yours the same way. i think one of the biggest mistakes people make is they look for it. This rule also applies to relationships.
dont look for a rebound dude, thats asking for trouble.
like he said i felt like i needed to fill the empty space. OTer's last time i posted recommended that i drop msot contact with the girl to help get over her, i did for the most part, been hanging with my friends went to an OAR concert fridaynight and college starts up soon, which will keep me busy, but im still depressed 50% of the time, and i know its only been a week....
i declined a girl thurs night, which would have been a major mistake if i hadnt. But it sucks going through this alone and my friends cant be around all the time.
i'd get back with the girl in an instant, and she knows it. which doesnt help at all. i cant wait til this is over. and another girl would make it over that much sooner.
Fill the space with books, going for walks, improving your self, freinds you haven't seen in a while?, Family and trying new things.
Im doing fine in school, started going to the gym more often, and hanging out with friends that i use to skimp out on a lot for her. All things im doing already but i want to feel better faster
only time will heal man.
gay ass rules of love imo
I'm 6-7 weeks out of a 5 year relationship (she cheated etc) Huge turn around for me in the past 2-3 weeks, I'm getting back in touch with the things I want to do in life and am realising the things I stopped doing because of her.
Time is a healer but there is still a lot of pain you go through during it.
You can get a rebound girl if you want. Hell everyone deals with shit differently. Most people want to avoid all pain...no matter what. In their minds, pain = bad.
However pain is simply and indicator of something and it's a natural and normal part of life. It may be an indication for you to change some aspect of yourself that you would rather avoid.
IMO it's much healthier to allow yourself to go through the pain, instead of finding another woman to help you ignore the pain. Hanging out with friends and family can be great but just jumping from one relationship into another is not the best idea IMO. However, I know many people that disagree with me on this so....do what you must to take care of you.
Hang in there man....the pain will ease and life will go on.
wasnt looking for a relationship in the rebound more liek a hit it whenever i want type of thing, already got some1 lined up its a matter if i should or shouldnt do it
in my previous thread, replace relationship with FWB or fuck buddy or w/e.....it still applies. You not being able to realize that makes me think you missed the whole point of my post.
Not having been in that situation, I can only give you my unfield tested opinion of it. I would pick up and fuck SEVERAL rebound girls. NOT to try to help you get over the emotional pain of the breakup, or to distract yourself, or anything along those lines. But to make sure your mind realizes that it's not the end of the world and that there are other girls, and that, most importantly, YOU CAN GET OTHER GIRLS.
After a breakup, a lot of guys fall into the trap of thinking they've lost their ability to pickup, or that they can't get girls anymore, and maybe it's true. But that kind of thinking only throws them into an even worse downward spiral than they would otherwise experience, and THAT can create long-term difficulties with your success.
So IMO I would do it NOT for any sort of emotional reason but to reinstill in your mind that you can get girls, even after this big bad breakup
Just over 2 months out of a 6 year relationship that I was dumped from.
As others have said... Don't go looking for a rebound chick. At first you feel like you have to have someone to fill that empty space and only a new girl could do it... but that is just a phase and eventually you will realize that a new LTR is the LAST thing you want... especially if you're not over the last girl.
Try and pick up new hobbies or start doing old ones again. Just like you, my friends cannot be there for me all the time to keep my mind off of it, so when they cannot be around I go on internet forums, read interesting books, or study to keep my mind off of it.
At this point, your actually better off without a new girl. Just take it slow, take some time to find yourself and where you left off... a new girl will come along, and when you are ready for her you can jump into something new.
excellent point. I agree
It makes sense in theory and probably does work to an extent... but I think that is something you do a couple months after the breakup. Having that mentality immediately could make things worse before they make them better.... especially when you're not ready.
2nd. yes, go out and have sex. do not get into another relationship until you are ready.
she is pushing the friend thing, do i try to be her friend, and i dont know how to be her friend or what changes besides the absense of sex/dates/hangingout all the time
i would suggest not being her friend right now. maybe sometime in the future, but it will just make things harder for you to get over her.
i can let go of her being my girlfriend but i dont think i can let go of her completely.
its just gonna be harder on you right now.