SRS GF isn't sure if she still loves me.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Silverwolf90, Apr 2, 2008.

  1. Silverwolf90

    Silverwolf90 New Member

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    She came over to my house today. And then she started to cry, and wouldn't tell me what was wrong for the longest time.

    Then eventually I got it out of her that basically she doesn't know what she feels right now. Half of her just wants us to be best friends and the other half wants to stay, so she's very confused. She doesn't know if it's just a little phase she's going through, but that she doesn't understand why she feels like this. She said it's nothing I did, her feelings just changed. Because it's not like we've been fighting alot or anything, nothing has changed.

    When I asked her if she wanted to break up or take a break, she said no and that she needed to think first. But that she can't imagine her life without me in it, and that she doesn't want to be that couple that breaks up and hates each other. And she's doesn't even know if she's not in love with me anymore.

    Basically she doesn't know what she feels. She was craying/bawling the whole time, while I was very calm and relaxed. While she was telling me all this stuff I didn't feel sad or anything, I just stayed very calm.

    But right now it feels like it hit me like a train, and I just feel incredibly sad. :( It's especially hard for me because she's my first girlfriend and we've been going out for over a year. I just don't know what to think. I really want everything to work out, but I don't know. :wtc:
     
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2008
  2. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    yea it usuallly takes a while for that to set in....that sucks man... well idk what to tell you. how old is she/you
     
  3. Silverwolf90

    Silverwolf90 New Member

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    We're both 17, and we kept on talking about making it through the summer and easing out of our relationship during the first quarter/semester of college.

    I was not prepared for this. :sad2:
     
  4. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    The feeling changes over time, and fading euphoria doesn't mean she doesn't still love you. People say everyone's definition of love is different, but I've found one that holds up pretty well: if she recognizes that her life is better because you're in it, and she wants to return the favor, then she loves you. The same goes for you.

    That said, if you do things to remind her of how her life is better with you in it, and she doesn't snap out of it, it's over.
     
  5. Silverwolf90

    Silverwolf90 New Member

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    Yeah, but that could apply to friendship as well right?
     
  6. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    you're only 17?

    Listen, I'm not saying you're not going to be hurt or sad at all from this, but you will get over it. From your thread title, I was thinking of people in their latte 20s on, not 17.

    Advice is still the same...when you have a relationship where someone isn't sure how they feel...it's pretty much not worth being in anymore.

    And at 17? You'll be fine. Your life will go on, you'll meet new people, etc.

    College tends to kill most high school relationships anyways.
     
  7. Silverwolf90

    Silverwolf90 New Member

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    Well obviously life will go on, and like I said, we didn't expect to stay together through college. But it's just that this came out of the blue. And now I feel like shit :o
     
  8. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Yes, and it also applies to family.

    I never said love was the same as romance or attraction.
     
  9. ridah626

    ridah626 OT Supporter

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    you guys are still young. you both dont know what love is. i know it would be hard to move on but in my honest opinion you guys should take a break. see if you two really are meant for each other. dont forget that there are a million other people out there you can be dating so dont put it all out for one girl.
     
  10. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    I think it means that she's recently felt some strong attraction to another guy and so she's now questioning her feelings for you. But maybe we can get a female's insight on this. I'm sure it's a line used by most girls
     
  11. dymondboy2f

    dymondboy2f Second place is the first loser.

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    You're 17? I went out with a girl from 14-18 and when it ended it sucked:wtc:. buuuuut...I got over it, tons of pussy later and I'm 21 and single for a reason.:naughty:
     
  12. GanglyGoodness

    GanglyGoodness .

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    everyone goes through this around that age, just enjoy yourself and move on
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You're 17? Yeah, I'm sure you are tired of reading that but it has a point. You are really really young in the grand scheme of your life. Move on. There are plenty of girls left in the world hun.
     
  14. Tzuma

    Tzuma New Member

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    I had the same conversation with a girl when I was 17. If you read thru it, she keeps saying she wants to break up, but doesnt want any negative side effect.

    At that age, I am guessing you two do everything together, and see each other more than just about anything else you do. You are each others worlds. Therefore, when things change, and they do, its harder to let that person go because of what it will do to your life.

    In essence, shes doing the right thing by telling you upfront. However, the relationship is on its way out. Shes not confused as to whether she wants a relationship, shes confused if breaking up is worth the risk of losing you from her life.

    If she didnt know what she felt, she would be evaluating the relationship - not the breakup.

    You'll do fine im sure. Good luck <3
     
  15. tqpolo

    tqpolo ***** Platinum Member OT Supporter

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    Once a girl feels that way, there's really no way to change her mind. If you become extra nice to her, she will leave faster. If you're being a douche, she will try to cling on you for a while but then it'll wear off and she'll leave.
     
  16. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    It sucks that it is out of the blue, but if you were not expecting to last when college rolls around. Just sounds like you are going to hit a rough patch and move on.
     
  17. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    why are you equating age with wisdom when they have nothing to do with each other?

    OP, it sounds like for whatever reason her feelings have changed. sorry bro :hs:

    on the other hand, that doesn't mean they could never come back. if they changed once...
     
  18. saiaba

    saiaba Guest

    This is true, but he should hope for nothing, and prepare for the worst. If she comes back... then good stuff, but if you guys were going to end it anyways, this is probably the end. You will talk to her again 3 years from now and she will be cracked out, or on the cover of the next girls gone wild video...

    Keep it movin man you can do it.
     
  19. ridah626

    ridah626 OT Supporter

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    i was trying to make him feel better by saying theres alot more to life because he is young. haha

    but op honestly dont kill yourself on this. sometimes things like these you cant control so dont fret over it.
     
  20. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    I tried to read your post but I couldn't make it past a couple sentences because of that stupid flashing avatar :ugh:
     
  21. Silverwolf90

    Silverwolf90 New Member

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    Well, I'll update you guys. She came back later that night after talking with her friends.

    She said that she doesn't think it's time break up, and that she still loves me because she wouldn't have been crying so much. And that talking about it with me face to face made her realize how much she still loved me.

    The next day I bought her favorite flowers, I saw the same smile I'm used to seeing from her when she's around me.

    I think everything is good for now. :o
     
  22. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Translation of her words: I don't want to be without a prom date.

    IMO she will break up again after prom/semester is over.

    Sorry man...I think it's over and it's just a matter of time. I know it sucks but we've all been there.
     
  23. Silverwolf90

    Silverwolf90 New Member

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    :mamoru: I need a prom date too :hsughno:
     
  24. imhisgrl85

    imhisgrl85 New Member

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    She says she doesn't want to be like other ex's who hate eachother after a break up because she wants to test waters first. What she is really saying is "I want to break up but I want to see how difficult you are going to make this on me first". Chances are that if you have been dating for a year or longer, you have met eachother's families and she doesn't want your family to hate her for causing you pain. Been there, done that. That is how we girls think.

    Like everyone else says, though. you are 17. Rarely do people find their life partner at 16-17 yrs old, and if you did, you will find out when she goes to college and REALLY "can't picture her life without you in it".

    Move on, break up with her before she can break up with you... you will both feel better.
     
  25. tqpolo

    tqpolo ***** Platinum Member OT Supporter

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    Nah, bro, it's over. I give it 2-3 weeks before she goes back to being "unsure". :hs:
     

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