GF is thinking of parting ways... wtd?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by multiplexor, Aug 12, 2006.

  1. multiplexor

    multiplexor Intellectual

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    Hey guys,

    I'm terrible at this...

    gf has been mentionning this once every year practically for the last 3 years... how she's not happy... she mentions things and i keep trying to work on it...

    tonight i come in from work and she starts with how she's not happy and that maybe we shouldn't be together as she's not giving me what i'm looking for...

    6 year relationship...

    while I like holding her and just being close to her, she rather make sure the place is clean...

    she says she feels almost angry when i touch her...

    i'm not sure what to do... i mean with her, i don't bother hugging her or holding her much because i always get the impression she's not really into that, etc... but today she mentions how it makes her practically angry when i do hold her...

    meanwhile, she never really comes upto me... to hold me... caress/massage,etc....

    i'm not even talking sex... which alot of the time ends up not hapenning for a couple months...

    we decided that we would make a list of needs and options... I would make a list of my needs and what i feel are her needs, and what our options are... and she'll do the same. This wednesday we will take the time to talk about it and see what to do.

    We've already gone to see someone in the past to see what can be done.... it helped for a bit i guess, but that seems to be it...

    What's your take on this... Should i just take this as being over, i try everything to always make her happy...

    granted i'm not the most romantic guy..... i always figured she wasn't very much into that... she once told me she didn't like receiving flowers cause they died... but then recently said she wouldn't mind 1 once and a while...

    I dunno.... :wtc:

    a part of me is wondering if i should maybe mention taking a break... a part of me is wondering about maybe seeing other people.... a part of me wants to stay with her... all of me is confused...
     
  2. hi2u2

    hi2u2 New Member

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    i think you guys need a break. i can understand where shes coming from, sometimes you really want something to work but the feeling isnt just there.

    her talking about getting angry when you touch her is weird. if she cant touch you why is she with you? i think maybe you two need a break to see if you want each other.

    but when you take a break, make sure youre not around each other too much, cuase then you wouldnt know if you really want her back or not.
     
  3. multiplexor

    multiplexor Intellectual

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    That's my gut feeling... I can always stay with a buddy for a week or 2.... he's got his own place...

    That could give us time to not talk and just think type thing... without really ending it... I dunno... my last breakup with in a 3 year relationship and i was in college... so it's been a long time
     
  4. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    Last edited: Aug 12, 2006
  5. multiplexor

    multiplexor Intellectual

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    i'm reading the second one... but the first one feels spot on... :-/
     
  6. imsleepwalking

    imsleepwalking New Member

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    This may be just an impression I get from the way you post, but maybe you need to be a bit more decisive and demanding. Stop being so accomodating, chicks actually dig a guy that can be a little bit of an asshole sometimes.

    Next, screw making a list of options and needs, just tell her straight to her face what you think and ask her to do the same.

    Lastly, if she feels angry when you touch her maybe you should just walk out. 6 years is a hell of a long time to waste on someone who can't even bear your touch.

    Anyways, that's my two cents
     
  7. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    dump and move on your relationship is fucking dead. find another chick this chick sucks and wants you to dump her. so. like i say, man the fuck up and dump her, pussy.
     
  8. Schproda

    Schproda New Member

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    I don't understand what kind of "break" anyone would think someone in a 6 year relationship would need. My ex didn't want me touching her. She was cheating on me and I didn't know it until we split up. You have to put more thought into it. Don't be there for her. See if she is gone a lot, not where she should be, getting phone calls and being really happy when she gets a call or two. I was too good to my ex too, never even raised my voice to her. It's a hard one to get used to, but you have to take care of YOU and if acting unconcerned or being somewhat combative is what you have to do, go for it.
     
  9. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    Sounds like it's time to find someone new.
     
  10. GRocks10

    GRocks10 New Member

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    Wow, 6 years huh? You know.. instead of putting a fork into the relationship and calling it an end.. why not do some positive changes and come to a compromise with her to meet both your needs so the two of you are satisfied in the relationship. Its not so great when your woman has this weird vibe when you touch her.. I think its the fact that you two have been together for 6 years and she hasnt been happy the last few so she feels like you don't "deserve" her so she feels odd when she lets you.. go figure.

    This is what you should do.. don't cut it off yet, re-live that chemistry you two once had.. get back and do the "honey moon phase".. get some roses with a card and have them delivered to her one day when you're out and make sure shes home.. plan a weekend cruise and have some fun.. get some ass and enjoy her company! Make her feel like she did when you both started dating.. oil her up and give her a body massage.. take her for a walk on the beach, watch a sunset together, go ride some bicycles, hell go out there and rent a couple of horses for a day and ride on the beach.. shit man, what your woman wants is the guy she usto know.. not some lazy ass who doesn't keep the place clean.. so you know what? Spoil her alittle because it doesn't seem like you've been doing this. Let her feel that you love her and that you're willing to put change to make things positive.. and you know what? FOLLOW THROUGH WITH IT!

    Keep the relationship alive man.. don't let 6 years go down the damn toliet. If you really love her and care, you'll see to it that you will BOTH MAKE IT WORK.

    Relationships are a two way road.. both need to put the effort. ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT.
     
  11. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    WORST ADVICE EVER. Your girlfriend has given obvious signs shes about to or is fucking someone else. Holy fuck this is the worst advice ever. Id start ignoring her and acting like you dont need her.
     
  12. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    this is completely unrealistic and won't work.
     
  13. tominos

    tominos New Member

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    if she doesn't even like you touching her, she doesn't love you. it's over man, just get out of there asap. it'll probably be hard for the first few months, then you'll feel alot better and move on to bigger and better things.
     
  14. multiplexor

    multiplexor Intellectual

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    Update:

    Spoke with her a bit today...

    she still cares about me and if anything did ever happen, she'd want to remain close friends... (which admittingly is probably not that easy...)

    she would like to find some sort of resolution... I told her about the askmen thing i read above and how i'm not mysterious and a challenge because i'm too passive and just kinda "there...." type thing... she sorta agreed as she thought about it...

    anywho... i'm gonna write up the list of needs i have and i believe she has... as she will do the same... maybe we're not verbally communicating something we need...

    as for options... my only option is to either work on those, or simply take a break for a week or whatnot and just reflect... she says she still cares and wants to see what can be done...

    but as she said, she doesn't think it's fair that i still want her and she can't reciprocate the feelings...

    thanks for listenning guys :)
     
  15. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    :ugh: :ugh: :ugh: :ugh:
    :doh: :doh: :doh: :doh:

    thinks for a second. would you have told her this kind of thing at the start of the relationship when you were still mysterious and a challenge? by telling her, you're further becoming an open book and "boring". sounds like you guys communicate TOO much, and she doesn't have anything else to find out about you.
     
  16. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    This therapy approach is only gonna make things worse, imo.
     
  17. multiplexor

    multiplexor Intellectual

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    a friend of mine asked me today... do you love her, or are you in lover with her...

    he explained the difference as i didn't really know the difference...
    loveing someone... anyone can love someone else...

    where as being in love with someone is different... you love everything about the person and you feel everything for her...

    I didn't even think there was a diff...

    anywho... i had to stop and think about it, as i'm not sure... i mean she's a great peson whom i love... but after what hapenned on friday, it just took a hit and now i don't know if i'm in love with her, it just changed everything inside of me... ugh!! :-/
     
  18. sp33d

    sp33d New Member

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    The same thing happened to me about a month ago, we had been together for 1.5 years.

    Seriously her not being happy is making you unhappy, get out i know its hard but life is short. I've been threw alot of long term relationships. the best thing to do is move on.

    If you have to change constantly to make her happy your selling your self short and she will honestly never be happy no matter what you do.
     
  19. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

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    How old are you, if your past like 25 you should beable to work this out possibly because you've practically been together long enough to married.

    If you're under 25 it's time to just relax, dump and move on. She's giving you every reason in the world to say enough is enough. It's time to say that see how she reacts dont pussy in and move on.
     
  20. ralph

    ralph driver her like you stole her

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    Dude get the fuck out of the relationships asap. I was with my gf for 5 years, in which our relationship was very similar to yours. It will hurt like no other to break up with her but think what if you got married and then she keeps saying shit like this. Go out and find a girl the appreciates you.
     
  21. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    Just to give you a different view on different approaches since you are stuck on this chick that is obviously fucking another guy or definitely considering it....

    at one point i had become too comfortable in my relationship with one of my ex's.. whatever, she slowly started losing interest in me and starting cutting off most if not all sex with me.

    then, a few weeks later I was seeing and talking to this new chick, and suddenly my ex gf wanted to fuck n suck me every chance she got.

    dude, this girl wants you to break up with her, go get another girl and wave it in her face, your social value is at a fuck all low in her eyes. I bet you ten internet dollas that if she sees you with or knows you are with another chick her interest level in you will go up ten fold. oh btw if u go "hey look at me i got a new gf" that will fuck up and back fire

    ps. you are a MORON and know nothing about chicks if you told her about the ask men shit. you are a moron x 2 for admitting you are boring and basically putting yourself down and lowering your social value even more.

    might as well just do what I said
     
  22. CharlesMNeo

    CharlesMNeo New Member

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    fuck that the relationship is over, just let it go, dont even let it hurt you
     
  23. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Dude, she is throwing you red flag after red flag, and you need to be the mature one and end things. Any time a woman repeatedly tells you she wants out ... dump her! That is your job, as a mature partner. Go read this article I wrote...

    http://www.friendzoned.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4

    Snip:
    Your woman is denying you physical attention because you are acting like a child (in my opinion) and hence why she wants to be friends with you. This is your opportunity to realize you have to make a tough decision, like an adult would, and cut her loose. And you can bet when you do that she'll chase you because now you ARE acting like a mature adult. But if you take her back, she'll be just as unhappy because then you lied about your decision, basically.

    Make the break and read more of those dating articles. You'll be glad you did.

    Don't be with a woman who treats you like her brother - find one who worships you. You'll be glad you did. But you also have to be mature and worthy of that as well, so go improve yourself! :)
     
  24. multiplexor

    multiplexor Intellectual

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    update... indeed we are trying to be friends at this time...

    she wanted to try to make things work, but it's just not vibing...

    we still plan on living together yeah... but i'll go out and do shit and random times..

    the hard part is living together and doing this... breaking up is not an easy thing to do... as such we seem to be basically taking it slowly...

    As odd as that fucking sounds.... :-/
     
  25. ArthurPewty

    ArthurPewty New Member

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    Just wanted to say to multiplexor that I'm sorry to hear about what's going on. I've been through similar things and it sucks. Neither of you are getting what you want out of the relationship and it seems like something major would need to occur to change that. It sounds like the two of you have become comfortable in your lives despite not being happy. Breaking up will hurt (always does), but ask yourself what are you really losing? Someone who can't stand you touching them and (from what you write) rarely shows you affection?

    I'm thinking the hard part for you and the gf will be the practical aspects of breaking up- moving, deciding who gets what, etc.

    Wish you the best of luck.
     

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