gf is pissed because i don't care about her v.don't know why -storyofmylifepost

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by juu9, Aug 24, 2009.

  1. juu9

    juu9 New Member

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    not really a vent, but i'll write it as a story:

    i have been with my gf for almost a year now. one day, she told me she has a cyst in her stomach and it needed to be removed. i didn't think much of it because as long as it wasn't canercous, i didn't think it was life threatening.

    so, like always, i call her and email her constantly (blindly, i'm not clingy, its just what i know she likes and i do it). she doesn't pick up the phone calls or reply to the emails, but i know she appreciates them because the first thing she does every morning is to read the emails (i check her ip login, its a private email account i set up for her).

    so she basically just ignores me a lot of the time, but really... i don't care too much. i call once at night, once in the morning, and once in the afternoon (just ringing her phone, not actually wanting to talk to her). i try to email once a day, its usually short, maybe 2-3 sentences.

    she had the sugery and mind you, i am still calling her regularly and emailing her regularly (but she doesn't have email now, only phone). she doesn't pick up like always and replies that she's too weak to talk and she can barely take 10 steps. i say it's ok, not a problem.

    she stays with her aunt now some where across the country from me. so i can't visit her right now.

    i'll be driving over to see her soon across te country. and i'll be staying around the area she's at. (i'll be sitting with her family, and i'm uncomfortable around them).

    she calls me this morning and is sad\angry at me because
    i dont' care for her

    "what???" i say

    she responds "i'm sick and you don't even care"

    me "... i asked if you were ok, what did you think that meant?"

    her "[fumes]"

    me "..."

    her "*hangs up"

    i don't call her back because i don't like talking to her when she's angry, but she calls me back and tells me how i'm not showing enough care and that she might die and i won't even flinch

    i tried to reassure her by telling her i'm not going to leave you even if you are sick, but she replies with "yes, you will"

    here's my question...

    why is she acting that way?
    i think it's because she might be scared that i will leave her, but honestly i don't have any intentions to... i haven't changed my behavior before or after the sugery either.

    cliffs: gf thinks i don't care. i call her 2-3 times a day (she doesn't answer) and email her once every other day. why is she upset?

    if i wrote mistakes, i will clear them up.
     
  2. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    She is in a vulnerable position now, surgery brings a lot of fear and stress. I think she wanted you to be around her at the time or she at least wanted to see you caring and be somehow worried when she first told you about the surgery.
     
  3. outlaws

    outlaws C.R.E.A.M.

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    ^^ surgery is srs bidness son
     
  4. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    Are you in school, or working?

    You probably should have gone to be with her for the surgery and a couple days after. Obviously you can't stay the whole time, but being there for the surgery would have been a good move.

    If she's unable to talk on the phone for periods of time, call her family and ask how she's doing. If you are uncomfortable with them, to bad. Grow up and call them to check on her status. In this case, they share a mutual interest with you, concern for her.

    Her not answering the phone sucks though, even if she can't talk long, she could pick up and at least say hi, and stay on long enough for you to ask how she's feeling.
     
  5. saosko

    saosko OT Supporter

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    Why are you even with her?

    Do yourself a favor and abort this fetus.
     
  6. juu9

    juu9 New Member

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    not so much that i want to talk, its just to show "i'm thinking of you and if you want to talk, feel free to pick up"
     
  7. juu9

    juu9 New Member

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    my mom is going to leave for another country soon. she's a somewhat older so i didn't want to leave her for my s\o. (i wont' see her for a while)

    that's a really good idea... calling her parents... but that def. has to wait, because they don't speak english... (at all).

    edit: i haven't met her parents yet and i can't articulate myself well enough in french. also, i'm supposed to meet her dad when i arrive. :noes:
     
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2009
  8. juu9

    juu9 New Member

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    at times, i would ask her about the sugery, if it was the cancerous version or was it the sugar\junk build up, or whatnot. i would ask her if she hurts, are you ok and other questions

    its not really a barrade of questions, i ask them slowly and calmy... maybe something like this

    "are you ok?

    "does it hurt today?"

    by this time, she will say something like "i don't want to talk about this"

    and i'll say something encouraging like

    "you're doing great, its almost over"

    she's not fluent in english, and she can't understand a lot of the words i say, but she talks to me in english. when i switch over to the other language, she responds to me in english and it responsively makes me want to reply in english.

    but you're probably right her wanting me to be there.
     
  9. juu9

    juu9 New Member

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    i'm at that 'comfortable' stage

    but i know thats when things go bat shit
     

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