GF didn't call after partying

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Hym3n, Mar 28, 2009.

  1. Hym3n

    Hym3n New Member

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    I really just need to vent and/or some opinions, and its really not that severe, but given the way our relationship has always worked, I just don't know.

    GF and I have been together going on 4 months. She just recently got a job at Hooters. We have zero trust issues with each other, so I have no problem with her working there, flirting for tips, etc, its all good. In this ~4mo. span, we've only been away from each other 2, MAYBE 3 of those days. We're literally inseperable. With that said, every night, we always have a phone call, to at very least say "I love you, goodnight," regardless of how the day has gone. Its just something that we do.

    Last night she had plans to go out with some of the girls from work, as she's trying to make new friends there. "Cool, have fun, call me when you leave" I tell her. She gets out of work and over to whoever's place for a party around 11PM. At around 1AM she txt's saying that she's staying with one of the girls. Mind you, throughout our time together, she's never spent the night anywhere other than my house, much less would she typically stay with someone that she barely knows. I reply, with something saying to call me when she left, and she replies to that saying OK about 30min later.

    Another hour passes and I'm passing out, kinda wondering what's going on. I call and txt her a couple times, just to see if she's OK and to say that I'm going to bed... really just wanting our quick "love you, goodnight" phone call. I get no reply.

    Fast-forward to 9:30AM, I wake up to a missed call from her at 3:45ish. No voicemail, no txt msg, just one missed call. Knowing that she has to be at work by 10AM, and that she would be on the way there by this point, I call her. No answer. I wait until 9:50 or so and call again, this time she answers saying that she was just about to call me. I'm obviously a little upset that she never contacted me last night, and even though she did call once, the fact that she didn't try and leave any kind of goodnight message kinda sucks. She tells me that nothing happened with any guys, no drugs, nothing bad, just that she was a little tipsy and wasn't thinking about me. Says that she loves me and is sorry and whatnot, but I can't bring myself to get over it....

    All of the other girls I've dated have pretty much treated me like shit, and I've grown to accept it. This one has always been VERY good to me and very nice all around. She's caring and supportive, and like I said, no matter what, has ALWAYS called to say "goodnight," every single night. We've both gone out of our ways to say it in the past, and I'm just having a hard time accepting a night without it.



    CLIFFS: 4mo relationship, girl ALWAYS calls every night to say goodnight, gets new job @ hooters, goes partying with new girlfriends, doesn't contact me until next morning despite me trying to get ahold of her, swears nothing happened that she just wasn't thinking about me. [Please see my replies at posts #7 and #15!]
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2009
  2. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    It's been 4 months. You need to accept the fact that she went out and had fun with her girlfriends and get over it. You said you guys have zero trust issues, so prove it to yourself.
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Hate to be the bearer of bad news but this new job of hers is either going to ruin the relationship or at least cause a ton of drama.
     
  4. JamesL

    JamesL wat

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    You most certainly do have trust issues. Your gf just hasn't given you any reason not to trust her up until now.

    If all is well in your relationship, I would think nothing of it. :dunno:


    Although really, I haven't stayed up partying till 4am unless it involved drugs or the opposite sex almost ever.
     
  5. bearsdidit

    bearsdidit OT Supporter

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    Nonsense.
     
  6. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    Holy jesus you're smothering...

    Problem #1 is that you guys are "inseperable" and have been for the last 4 months. She's probably just starving for a chance to get out and be herself without you always holding her hand.

    Problem #2 is that you're over reacting tremendously about last night. She is a grown woman and can sleep over at a new girl friends house if she wants to. She texted you as well as let you know ahead of time where she'd be/what she was doing. I don't see the big deal especially if this has only happened once.

    Why don't you grow some balls and get some friends of your own? So on nights like this (or even other nights when she doesn't already have plans with her friends) you can go out and hang out with YOUR friends... you and her are not the same person and you CAN have different friends/experiences from time to time.
     
  7. Hym3n

    Hym3n New Member

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    THANK YOU. This is the kind of advice that makes me keep coming back to OT. I really appreciate it man.

    And thank you to everyone else as well, we literally both lost all of our friends when we got together for various reasons, so I'm working on mending things with some of my old friends and she's out trying to make some new ones. Its like I said, not that big of a deal, but just means a lot to me that we keep communication. I know that she wouldn't appreciate me doing the same to her.

    Thank you again everyone.
     
  8. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    :wtc: you mean, WOman?
     
  9. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    you sound really annoying. She told you what's up, why do you need a call ? and hell she supposedly called you in the middle of the night and you were sleeping.
     
  10. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    Oh my god. I would break up with you. You are way clingy. Why would she want to sit and check her phone every minute to answer you phone calls and/or texts. She already talked to you throughout the night. As you said she is trying to make friends and have a good time. You couldn't give her that. She did call you but why would she leave you a message at 3 in the morning. Being mad at her for not saying she loves you and goodnight at 3 in the morning when you are already sleeping is ridiculous. Super ridiculous. You are that insecure that you need a phone call? You do have trust issues and I feel bad for her because she couldn't even enjoy one night out without you being stupid. Sad. Tone down it down before you scare her off. Let her have fun. Let her make friends.
     
  11. Ichabod Crane

    Ichabod Crane Active Member

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    IF it becomes a pattern, you may have a leg to stand on, but she doesn't check in with you one night and you freak, trying to call/txt her multiple times, etc.

    Back off dude.
     
  12. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    You called her like 4-5 times and how many text messages in a fucking 12 hour span? You're giving her a reason to dump you.
     
  13. Alaya

    Alaya Active Member

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    Chill out, seriously.

    #1: If I'm out drinking and my SO doesn't happen to be there, I'll most likely crash at whichever one of my friend's house is closest to the bar we're at so I don't have to pay 11ty billion dollars for a cab and then figure out a ride to my car the next morning. That's just how it works. My BF understands this, and I always tell him where I'm sleeping, WHICH SHE DID.

    #2: Holy shit? Have you never been caught up in a really good time, and forgotten to do something particularly when you've been drinking? God forbid she was out having a good time with friends and wasn't thinking about YOU and CHECKING IN with you ever 2 seconds while out. She a) told you what was up which was good of her b) DID call you, albeit late, but that's probably when she crashed. And god forbid after a couple drinks she didn't leave a voicemail!? Seriously, your GF did call you... so basically you're mad she didn't leave a goodnight VM? C'mon, that's just ridiculous.

    She not only told you exactly what she was doing, and where she was staying, she DID in fact call you after partying. Sure, maybe you would have liked a VM or text, but shit, seriously?




    Seriously, this is not a big deal :hsugh:
     
  14. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    .
     
  15. Hym3n

    Hym3n New Member

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    Got it guys (and girls). Thank you. This has been a much-needed kick in the ass. I'm not used to having girlfriends that go out and party without having me invited. Its foreign territory to me and it got me nervous.

    As mentioned, if it becomes a habit, then things will be different, but for now, I'm just laying back and trying to right my wrongs. The last thing I want is to push her away, and looking at it from a different perspective now, I realize that that is all I am doing. So again, thank you everyone.
     
  16. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    wtf ??????????????????????????
    do you keep your gfs locked up in the basement or something.
     
  17. GammaRadiation

    GammaRadiation Active Member

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    All I got from that was "I need my GF to tuck me in like my mom did when I was 5 years old."
     
  18. Alaya

    Alaya Active Member

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    His profile says he's only 21, so giving him the benefit of the doubt maybe the bar scene is sorta foreign to him? :o But then again, house parties, going out with friends, etc. still existed before 21.

    But yeah, to the TS: Glad you understand what we're saying instead of getting defensive. I think take this, and start doing more stuff with your friends and stuff outside each other. It makes a relationship a lot healthier to have a good balance of the 3 - 1) hanging out one on one 2) hanging out together but in groups 3) hanging out with your separate groups of friends and nights away from each other. Trust me, the longer you date, #3 becomes very important in the long run.
     
  19. T-R-T

    T-R-T New Member

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    Doesn't sound like a big deal to me but I wouldn't want to date a girl that decided to work at hooters
     
  20. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    NGA U TRIPPIN
     
  21. Hym3n

    Hym3n New Member

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    No, in the past I have always been invited to go with and do whatever, just as I do with them when the activities are with MY friends.

    For the most part, age is the case. And yes, I definitely see your point regarding keeping your own friends, I know far too many married couples that have absolutely zero friends due to too much of #1.

    It pays really well and we want to save up money to get a place together. She's walked out with at least $80 every night since starting, typically $100+, and that goes a long ways with getting her shit together to get out of her parent's house. Besides, the girl's hot, she's going to get flirted with and hit on everyday anyways, I'd almost prefer it to be from customers than from other coworkers like her last job.
     
  22. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    stop saying she didn't call. I hate it when people do that. at least get the facts right, she just called a little later then you would have liked.
     
  23. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    didn't read much more than the cliffs:

    Dude, chill the fuck out. You brought this on yourself...unless she's 12 or your daughter, there is no reason a grown adult woman should need to call you every night. It just leads to problems like this, when she doesn't call right on schedule, you freak out.

    Oh, and if you're freaking out about her not calling you one time, IWYWB is right, this job will KILL your relationship. Hooters waitresses pretty much have to flirt with all the guys...you're insecure over a missed/late phone call, what happens when you see a guy hitting on her while she is working?
     
  24. seismic

    seismic New Member

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    Why were you so worried about her? I would think about that. Did you think something bad was going to happen to her, or that she was going to do something that would harm you?
     
  25. JamesL

    JamesL wat

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    This... coupled with the "we are inseperable after 4 months, call each other every night to say i love you, yada yada" kind of scares me.

    As a couple, you and your gf NEED time apart from each other! Or else at 8 months you are going to be making a thread about "my gf says she needs a break. She needs time to think things over and be herself."
     

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