SRS Gf broke up with me. Need your opinions

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Daiz4yota, Nov 16, 2009.

  1. Daiz4yota

    Daiz4yota OT's ENT/Facial Plastics MD OT Supporter

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    Just want to see if im crazy for not understanding this. This is a summary: My parents went through one of the nastiest divorces my city had prob had in a while. Since my father is pretty well known around this city, it was extremely publicized (local news/newspapers for weeks). My dad smacked my sister which led to a legal nightmare, and it turned into the worst few years of my life. I was 15 at the time. I dealt with it, and eventually got over it. I basically repressed the entire disaster and moved on with my life (did a pretty good job, actually). I repressed it so well that I never spent a second even thinking about it in the past 8 years or so, which of course means I never told my gf about it.
    About 3 days ago, someone that works at the hospital asked her who her bf was, and proceeded to find articles online from 10 years ago about the stuff that happened with my family, and gave it to her after finding out who I was. She made me meet her at a park, and handed me the stack of old newspaper articles from the internet. She then proceeded to tell me to give her back her house key, and actually acted scared of me. Keep in mind that we had been together for 26 months without one major argument and ive never even raised my voice at her.
    So in summary: im being judged because my dad was a piece of shit 10 years ago, and my gf believes that somehow that makes me a future piece of shit because I didnt disown him. She also must think I kept all this info hidden from her or something, but in reality I had just repressed it so well it never even came out. I spent a lot of time this weekend trying to figure this out, and it just keeps making me more angry at her lack of empathy or compassion.
     
  2. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Each person decides who they want to be with. You are allowed to be as irrational as you wish in your choice of intimate partner.



    If she, for whatever reason, finds you unsuitable...then she finds you unsuitable.

    If you're asking whether we think she is justified, well, not really. She sounds a bit naive and not particularly keen on judging peoples' inner character. But so what, that's not something for you to change.



    I would try talking to her, evenly, calmly, reasonably. Lay out the fact that you tried to distance yourself from this family situation.

    Parents getting divorced is not the fault of the children. As you say, you were (only) 15 at the time.

    If she cannot understand this, well, that's her. Unless she's VERY young, then I'd say she's very immature and you might as well just live and learn, and move on.



    For her to break up a 26 month relationship --out of the blue-- on the basis of what your dad did when you were 15...a decade ago.....something's not adding up.

    Consider the fact that she may have been looking for a reason, any reason, to break up with you. And now, here it is.

    "Convincing" someone to stay with you when they really don't want to....seldom works out in the long run. Don't be one of those guys.
     
  3. Daiz4yota

    Daiz4yota OT's ENT/Facial Plastics MD OT Supporter

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    Had no intention on convincing her of anything. Just confused and still trying to figure out what the fuck just happened

     
  4. Daiz4yota

    Daiz4yota OT's ENT/Facial Plastics MD OT Supporter

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    seems logical to try and get a third person perspective :dunno:
     
  5. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    This really is just one of those "shit happens" moments. Because you didn't actually do anything to cause the breakup, there's likely nothing you can do to get her back.
     
  6. djshotglass

    djshotglass New Member

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    So what did she say when you explained it all to her? If you won't even give anonymous internet users details of what your dad did it makes me wonder what really happened.

    By the way... don't try and look for logic in the decisions women make ;)
     
  7. Daiz4yota

    Daiz4yota OT's ENT/Facial Plastics MD OT Supporter

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    yup, pretty much where im at right now.
     
  8. johan

    johan Active Member

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    All wrapped up then
     
  9. Daiz4yota

    Daiz4yota OT's ENT/Facial Plastics MD OT Supporter

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    I just want to know if shes justified or not. Im not looking for a solution, just wondering if im crazy for not getting this situation
     
  10. johan

    johan Active Member

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    No, she's not justified. No, you're not crazy.

    She's making decisions on emotional grounds, not logical ones.


    And no doubt there's other co-factors you're not telling us.
    Breaking up a 2 year rel out of the blue over something your dad did when you were 15.

    Yeah, that's reasonable... :ugh: Or there's a lot more going on than just this...




     
  11. Daiz4yota

    Daiz4yota OT's ENT/Facial Plastics MD OT Supporter

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    I have no idea. All I can say is that I am 100% positive that our relationship was going great, and that she was happy prior to this happening. All I can think of is that she called all of her friends/family before talking to me, and they fed the fire.
     
  12. Daiz4yota

    Daiz4yota OT's ENT/Facial Plastics MD OT Supporter

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    she thinks she should be scared of me or something, even though ive been the most peaceful human on earth up to this point. I think she thinks ill magically turn into a violent father in 30 years or something
     
  13. Daiz4yota

    Daiz4yota OT's ENT/Facial Plastics MD OT Supporter

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    even though I havent given even the slightest red flag to imply that
     
  14. Daiz4yota

    Daiz4yota OT's ENT/Facial Plastics MD OT Supporter

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    oh and not that it matters now, but who the fuck actively seeks out dirt on my family for the sole purpose of giving it to my gf? :wtf:
     
  15. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    She's an idiot. You're fine. Move on and don't look back.
     
  16. *RARA*

    *RARA* New Member

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    Wtf. It's messed up that she'd break up with you for that.
     
  17. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    Tell her "Thanks! After your sister ran a train with my buddy and his four friends, I was fighting the need to break up with you for being a whore. Thanks for making up my mind!"
     
  18. Daiz4yota

    Daiz4yota OT's ENT/Facial Plastics MD OT Supporter

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    :roflw:
     
  19. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Wow, she sounds like a moron. Hope you take this as a blessing in disguise and are able to find someone who isn't so....I don't even know what to call her.
     
  20. Daiz4yota

    Daiz4yota OT's ENT/Facial Plastics MD OT Supporter

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    id go with immature :o pmed you
     
  21. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    pm back :hs:
     
  22. THE mister juice

    THE mister juice jfk→sea

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    :hug: decisions made during a time of high emotions and sticking by them/rationalizing them, that's the worst
     
  23. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    was it a guy? probably trying to braek you guys up so he can fuck her
     
  24. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    :hug: she is WAY WAY overreacting and like you said, not being compassionate at all. why would she blame you for the mistakes of a member of your family?? it's really absurd.
     
  25. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    If she really loved you, she'd talk to you about it first instead of just immediately breaking up with you. It wouldn't be so easy for her to let you go if she really cared about you.

    That being said, she's not the woman for you. The right woman would care enough to accept you and everything about you, including your past.
     

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