GF broke up after three years.....

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Cheezoos, Nov 1, 2007.

  1. Cheezoos

    Cheezoos New Member

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    Hey guys/gals
    New here thought I'd post/rant and join the community of Vaginarium

    Gf broke up with me about 3 - 4 weeks ago. Everything was going good i thought. She was goign to Europe and home for 4 months but we've waited before. The day before she goes on her trip to Europe she phones and says that she doesnt' want to be with me.

    We've been talking through e-mail for the last 3-4 weeks but now i've had it. Talking to her doens't bring me any happiness so i'm trying to cut her out.
    Some of mu buddies are taking different apporaches to helping me. ONe says completely ignore her never talk to her again IE (make her into a whore). THe other one says enjoy your time now and see what happens when she comes back.

    I don't know what i'm asking for if its advice or just a hug haha. Its been easier not talking to her and i've been keeping my self busy with work, friends and sports to keep my mind off of her. I just think i'm lost....

    Cliffs: Gf broke up after 4 years, Kinda know what to do kinda don't, Lost at the moment

    Thanks for taking the time
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    1. Welcome to the Vag
    2. You need to cut off contact with her. I know you love her and have a history with her and probably can't picture your life without talking to her at least sometimes...but right now talking to her is the worst thing for you. The best part about your break up is that she did it right before a long trip. Out of sight out of mind will go a very long way, but you have to use it correctly.

    Your friends advice is a little right. I wouldn't say "ignore her," it's more you guys broke up, so stop talking to her. You need time to heal, move on, and get over her. Start going out more and forget about her and especially forget about trying to get back with her when she comes back.
     
  3. Stev

    Stev Active Member

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    Yea.. i went through a harsh breakup and i tried to keep contact. It hurt me way worse then when i finially let her stop screwin with me.

    Dont be her security blanket, she wants out, so cut her out.
     
  4. Kreigore

    Kreigore New Member

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    I was in a relationship for about 3 years and she broke things off with me the first time around. We ended up getting back together, but guess what? Three months later we were separated again.

    Honestly, once an ex, always an ex. We hooked up after the fact, but it only lead to the unrealistic possibility that we'd get back together. Needless to say, it didn't happen.

    I'm now in a good relationship and my ex currently regrets how she handled things before, but there's no going back to her.
     
  5. ridah626

    ridah626 OT Supporter

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    don't trip about it man. U should cut off contact with her like everyone else said but honestly there's nothing wrong with being friends with exs. Just give it some time. If it was meant to be it will eventually work out. But for now go find another girl ;)
     
  6. Cheezoos

    Cheezoos New Member

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    Hey all thanks for the replies
    Its helped knowing that all you guys are in agreement. Just cut her out and ignore her. I will have to see her when she gets back but thats not till Dec 29th. I have to give her back her car and her apartment keys...I was looking after them for her while she is away....But for now out of sight out of mind.

    Ha i feel like a stalker someone times cause i see her on facebook and just slowly cruise my way over into her profile but once again i know i shoudl just forget about her.

    "especially forget about trying to get back with her when she comes back"
    Yea right now i think thats my probelm i'm thinking about what if and when she comes back i will get back with her....
     
  7. AlliMae13

    AlliMae13 New Member

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    Break ups are never fun...I dated a guy for three years and then we broke up. Like everyone else has said, the best thing to do is cut contact. Focus on doing things you enjoy and what makes you happy.
     
  8. Jessalynelaine

    Jessalynelaine New Member

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    hey you need to cut off contact if she doesnt want to be with you right now.. it will drive her crazy and she will be begging for you.
     
  9. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    stop talking to her. you'd be surprised just how easily you can get over someone when you have no contact of any kind with them. it'll probably take less than 3 months after a 4 year relationship.

    don't look forward to her coming back and don't expect to get back together with her. the truth is she probably will come crawling back at some point, but you NEED to not take her back.
     
  10. TheGetUpkid

    TheGetUpkid New Member

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    I went through the same situation last year. Together for 4 years, the ex was going to Italy to study abroad and decides a month before she leaves that she didn't want to stay together. Whats worse is that while overseas she tells me that when she wants to get back together...... basically setting myself up for heartbreak.

    The only way I really got over her was no contact for a good awhile. She wanted to be friends and stay in touch, But I would have been kidding myself if I wanted a friendship with her. I might sound like a broken record here but definitely go no-contact. Use this time to focus on the most important person at this time, which is you. Stop going on to facebook, myspace and whatever else you have altogether. You'll just find yourself, like you said "stalking" her. Especially with facebook's live feeds, you'll save your self a lot hurt in the future.
     
  11. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Good way to put it.
     
  12. Cheezoos

    Cheezoos New Member

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    Thanks guys.gals I appreciate everything.
    Yes i'm tying my best to cut her out., But you know how hard it is...just taking it day by day....... I had a typo it has been 3 years not 4 year relationship but still long enough. I know that i need to move on and quit contact its just the in between time which sucks.....It helps that shes not here at all so out of sight out of mind........But she creeps back into my mind.......

    I appreciate all the advice and just warm welcome
     
  13. TheGetUpkid

    TheGetUpkid New Member

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    That will happen alot especially since you guys just broke up. Even after a year I still think about me ex every now and then. Nothing much you can do about it except trying to keep your busy and your mind on other things.
     
  14. Stev

    Stev Active Member

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    ;)
     
  15. Fairysparkle

    Fairysparkle New Member

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    I was in the opposite situation, so I was the douche that broke it off after 4.5 years. Not the easiest decision on my part, but I'm sure it sucked for my ex too. Afterwards, I can't tell you how many times I considered calling or getting back in touch, but unless you have a real strong desire to get back together, or the breakup was some heat of the moment fluke, it's not worth it.

    Sorry about the breakup, but in the long run you're better off, man. Good luck.
     
  16. Cheezoos

    Cheezoos New Member

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    Thanks guys
    Another day down without talking to her
    I go thru phases where its like Im' totallyfine just who cares attitude.
    THen suddenly bang i get the lost empty sensation...it freaking sucks.
     
  17. TheGetUpkid

    TheGetUpkid New Member

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    I went through that shit daily.... the times when it was the worst was at night when it used to be "our time" to hang out. Just keep at it dude and eventually you'll think less and less of her.

    If your interested at all I have some reading from this forum I used to frequent alot that helped me through my break up.
     
  18. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    whatever you do, don't look at her facebook or anything like it. nothing will set you back further in your recovery than seeing other guys flirting with her and/or seeing her having a lot of fun without you.
     
  19. Mungbean

    Mungbean New Member

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    Agreed, i broke up with my ex about 3 months ago. We were together for about 3 years. I havent been to her myspace, facebook, LJ since. Its made it a lot easier for me, and im for the most part over her. Some things still remind me of her, and i think about her every now and then, but that's normal. Anyways, good luck. If i could get over it, so can you! :wiggle:
     
  20. Cheezoos

    Cheezoos New Member

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    Yeah i miss "our time"
    I think mostly what i miss right now is just that we use to talk eveyr night before we went to bed. Just give each other a call. or when we were bored it was so easy just to pick up the phone and bang someone to talk too. I'm trying to not visit her facebook but i won't lie i've seen it lol....takes time...

    Suprasaurus only 3 months to get over ur ex after 3 years? i'm impressed...at this stage it feels like its going to take a lot longer...
     
  21. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    why don't you just remove her as a friend? there's no reason for you not to. it'll help you get over her and you shouldn't care how she reacts to it anyway.
     
  22. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    Been broken up for 5 months out of a 6 year relationship.

    It's rough, but you"ll get through it man. Just keep yourself busy, establish new hobbies, and take this as a HUGE opportunity to allow yourself to grow and meet new people.

    As for keeping contact... I think it would be best to eliminate contact with her for now. When she comes back from Europe maybe then give her a call to see how her trip went and how things are, but only do that if you are mostly over her and have any relative desire to start a mutual friendship.

    So basically: Realize you're not alone, keep busy, meet new people, and cut contact for now.

    Best of luck.
     
  23. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    don't think about that now. don't look forward to her coming home. it'll only make it harder to get over her.
     
  24. Cheezoos

    Cheezoos New Member

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    I understand all your points guys. This forum has been a large help. I just msg and i its awesome how all you help out.

    I have to see her in December. I am looking after her Car and landlording her apartment...YES I KNOW....it sucks......but before she left i already had said i would do it. I'm trying not to think about her like u guys all said it takes time. Just crappy that i have to see her in two months...

    Dec 29th
     
  25. TheGetUpkid

    TheGetUpkid New Member

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    :rofl: My ex did the same exact thing. She was emailed me saying that she wanted to keep in touch and through facebook I could see all the shit she was doing in Italy...... and also she told me that I didn't care about her and that I was throwing away 4 years.... :hsugh:
     

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