SRS Gf and I broke up...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by niquesuave06, Sep 17, 2006.

  1. niquesuave06

    niquesuave06 New Member

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    She said she thought we both needed space and to be individuals because we were becoming like one person. I agreed (regretfully, at this point) and we ended it. She says she still loves me, and that she's really having a hard time getting through it. I still love her and to say I'm having a difficult time is an understatement. I really hope we get back together, but I don't know. I can't stop thinking about her and I don't know how to stop. I'm still completely in love with her and it hurts so badly right now.

    What should I do? More importantly, how should I do it?

    I'm making myself sick over this.
     
  2. tehshift

    tehshift Member

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    get out of the house.

    I was put in the exact same situation you are in about 2 months ago. The more you are by yourself the more you will think about it. Go be with your friends as much as possible, pick up some new hobbies, go to the gym, go visit your parents... just find things to keep your mind occupied right now.

    If you do start thinking at her, the most helpful thing for me was to start getting mad at her. She's the one who broke it off. She is prolly going out with all her single friends now to party and for some reason does not want you in the picture.

    Also I suggest breaking off contact. The more you are not there for her, the more she will want you to be there.
     
  3. niquesuave06

    niquesuave06 New Member

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    Breaking it off was actually a mutual decision, I just came to regret it and want to take it back. I said it in anger/frustration.
     
  4. niquesuave06

    niquesuave06 New Member

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    Also, the fact that I told her I regretted making that decision shows her "I'm not ready to be alone" which is "what we're trying to make sure of."

    She thinks we need to make sure that we can be independent and maybe at that point we can get back together. Once we've 'found ourselves' again.
     
  5. tehshift

    tehshift Member

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    But she was still the one who brought it up? I just read your other post in Vag and I can tell you I am going through the same situation.. She, like any other college girl wants to have her space to do what she wants. I promise, breaking off contact will help you get over this for now. Later down the road you can always try the relationship again.
     
  6. niquesuave06

    niquesuave06 New Member

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    It's just tough to let go :hs: She's the only girl I want right now, she was my best friend. And now we can't even be friends because it hurts both of us too much.
     
  7. tehshift

    tehshift Member

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    Yeah, I know what you mean. I was with my ex for 4.5 years. I'm sorry to keep saying this, but it will continue to be tough the more communication you have with her. When you are finally tired of being hurt, just try breaking contact. After a few days you will stop thinking about her as much. The more activities you get in your life, the less you will think about her when you are alone. I picked up tennis, started going to the gym more, and have gotten big into reading. Be strong and don't let this control your life. Anytime someone asks you to go out, you should go and try to meet new people. Take advantage of this break and really "find yourself".
     
  8. niquesuave06

    niquesuave06 New Member

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    *update* I was supposed to give a speech for class on Wednesday and my topic was 'how to take a girl out on a date' and I need pictures for it. So my gf (ex) and I were going to go out on Saturday and take pics.

    Now she's texting me asking if I got pics, and since I said "no" what I'm going to do about it. . .:noes: she still cares, which makes it hurt more.
     
  9. tehshift

    tehshift Member

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    If you have any other female friends you can take, then I would do that. If you can't get anyone else and need to take her, I suggest not talking about your relationship while you are there.

    She is going to continue showing she cares for you, until you tell her to stop. She doesn't want to lose you, either as a friend or she may still know she wants to be with you eventually. But do not let her see you being weak. Like you said earlier, her response to you regretting your decision. Until you show her you can be strong and independent she will not be looking to date you. Do your best to show her this does not bother you, and you realize if it doesn't work out with her there will be another girl for you. (but dont say that :) )
     
  10. RedDawg

    RedDawg Well-Known Member

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    break off contact with her for at least a little while. You're going to be 10x more crushed when she starts dating other guys and you still havent gotten over her.
     
  11. niquesuave06

    niquesuave06 New Member

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    We ended up going out tonight, and she just kept saying how confused she is. She wants to date me, but she isn't sure she can right now because she isn't happy with herself. . .etc. She cried more than I've ever seen her cry in our 18 months together. It was believeable. But, I don't want to get strung along. I'm going to give her distance and let her miss me, because I know she missed me today. When she wrapped her arms around me and started crying on my shoulder I knew that she wasn't handling not having me well, and I knew she was realizing what she was going to miss out on.

    Ugh, it's just the wait thats gonna kill me. That, and her damn evil friend who is doing everything she can to keep us apart.
     
  12. RedDawg

    RedDawg Well-Known Member

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    you shouldn't sit around and "wait" for her to come around. What are you going to do when her evil friend starts setting he up with dates?
     
  13. niquesuave06

    niquesuave06 New Member

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    I didn't mean 'waiting' as in 'waiting around.' I meant it as not shoving my feelings aside and forcing myself to move on. We talked again tonight about our 'status' and I think I have the upper hand in the situation. She wants me back, but we're going to work towards getting back to a healthy/happy relationship.
     
  14. niquesuave06

    niquesuave06 New Member

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    **update** we're back together

    And her friend is flirting with me more than ever.

    :rolleyes:
     

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