GF acting rather Moody

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by The Assassin, Oct 19, 2006.

  1. The Assassin

    The Assassin New Member

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    Lately My Girlfriends Been acting rather strangely
    and im wondering what all of you think her motives are?

    1)We were talking and she proceeds to call me a whore (although not too seriously) and later gets upset saying she saw something that shouldnt have bothered her but it did. i know for a fact ive done nothing to even get her jealous at all..

    she then tells me days later in person "dont take this like a bad thing cuz its not, i knew i liked you but i didnt realize til the other day how much i cared about you"

    2)several days ago my gf got incredibly pissed off at me for nearly no reason
    she then decided to say that it pisses her off that I DON'T YELL at her when we argue..

    this made absolutely no sense to me at the time

    3) Yesterday my girlfriend decided to tell me she thinks shes pregnant
    I played it rather non chalantly seeing as how i thought she might be fucking with me..
    later after comforting and holding her
    she decided to tell me she was just lying to see if i believed her or not

    Background Info:
    shes a year younger and im 18

    Weve been going out for about 3 months
    although we originally met january of '06 and "dated" for about a month before losing all contact til august

    Things feel incredibly steady between us (ie: no thought of breaking up for either of us)

    also to note shes incredibly off and on with mood swings

    Just wondering if anybody knows why or what alterior motives she might have?

    Sorry for dragging on but i figured the more detail the better

    and thanks a bunch in advance!:wavey:
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    several ideas come to mind.

    One, it could be that time of the month for her, but I don't know how long this occurred for.

    Two, something is causing her some major stress.

    Three, she's not sure where the relationship is going, is confused, and is showing it with her different behavior.

    Since she's only 17, I'm leaning a little towards number 3..

    oh, just thought of a number 4..

    Four...she just started BC, and the hormones might be affecting her somewhat? :dunno:
     
  3. greenpillow

    greenpillow New Member

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    One of the only times i was like that was when i was pregnant with my daughter.. i dont know what to tell you.. some young females are just mooddy if your having unprotected sex you better stop now because its retarded.
     
  4. RyeLou

    RyeLou OT Supporter

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    No offense dude but it sounds like she's just young. I'm 23 but remember the relationship I was in when I was 16/17/18 (all the same girl) I thought I knew way more than I did and it took a nasty break up and a bit of time for me to look back on it and realize everything that had happened and exactly what it was. I'm still far from an expert, and nobody ever really will be.

    As for more specifics, it looks like she's just trying to get a reaction out of you for one reason or another. There isn't any way to be able to tell exactly why she's doing it or what the reason is other than her telling you (which won't happen in a million years) From the sounds of it you two are each others first love, correct? Being so young I'd just roll with it for now. It seems like you play stuff off like that pretty cool and I'd just keep doin what you're doin.
     
  5. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    4) things have stagnated and shes picking a fight/creating problems
     
  6. The Assassin

    The Assassin New Member

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    i thought it was wishful thinking
    but is it possible that she could be "falling for me" to say the least

    generally she said herself shes so used to being in control in anything

    so i thought it was a power struggle at first
    which makes sense to me

    maybe shes trying to see where she stands in the relationship
    and fearing that i dont feel the same way as i tell her i do

    and maybe whatever made her "jealous" kinda made her click
    cuz the last time we saw before that
    was her birthday (which i really put alot of effort into)
    she incredibly appreciated it too

    and its not that time of the months since that was about 2 weeks ago

    and were going in to get birth control this week so that cant be it either
     
  7. RyeLou

    RyeLou OT Supporter

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    Wouldn't make sense to me with his #1
     
  8. The Assassin

    The Assassin New Member

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    also to mention

    things arent growing dull or anything

    i treat her with a ton of respect but never act clingy

    in person we get along amazingly

    any arguing has just been over the phone

    and its incredibly miniscule

    im about 99% sure everything shes saying is just to see how i will react
    one of which she told me that it was exactly what she was doing
     
  9. RyeLou

    RyeLou OT Supporter

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    Don't bother second guessing it until theres a good reason to. If you're able to do that you're ahead of the game anyhow.
     
  10. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    just sounds like melodrama.
     
  11. RyeLou

    RyeLou OT Supporter

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    Agreed.
     
  12. focalBlur

    focalBlur your does not equal you're

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    She is 17, that is the simple answer

    and more to the point you are only 18, don't worry about it. In time it will pass or you will break up. Either way it wont matter 5years from now

    Just go with the flow and don't worry about it
     
  13. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    "1)We were talking and she proceeds to call me a whore (although not too seriously) and later gets upset saying she saw something that shouldnt have bothered her but it did. i know for a fact ive done nothing to even get her jealous at all..

    she then tells me days later in person "dont take this like a bad thing cuz its not, i knew i liked you but i didnt realize til the other day how much i cared about you"

    2)several days ago my gf got incredibly pissed off at me for nearly no reason
    she then decided to say that it pisses her off that I DON'T YELL at her when we argue.."


    She testing to see if you'll be a wussy about it, and in #2, she's telling you that she's getting mad that you're being a wussy.


    "3) Yesterday my girlfriend decided to tell me she thinks shes pregnant
    I played it rather non chalantly seeing as how i thought she might be fucking with me..
    later after comforting and holding her
    she decided to tell me she was just lying to see if i believed her or not"

    "Things feel incredibly steady between us (ie: no thought of breaking up for either of us)

    also to note shes incredibly off and on with mood swings"


    I think those last two sentences contradict each other. She would have me running for the hills.
     
    Last edited: Oct 19, 2006
  14. fray

    fray New Member

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    I was thinking maybe she's trying to get you to say I love you and is just getting upset because it's not working and is resorting to weird measures. (If this is it, don't let her force you into saying it!) Also, she is young.

    I get moodier following my period rather than prior to it anymore, so unless you have been paying attention for a while and can see a pattern, I wouldn't let where she is in her cycle sway you. :hsughno:
     
  15. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    I really should have realized this earlier...drawing from my experience working at a youth shelter...women from like 12-18 absolutely love drama and gossip.

    She really could just be being overly dramatic.
     
  16. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    lying about being pregnant is dishonest. She intentionally mislead you for her own purposes.

    this is a character trait. Is it something you desire in your mate?
     
  17. fray

    fray New Member

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    .

    Run.
     
  18. Hunt

    Hunt Active Member

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    She probably just wants you to ask her what she's jealous about/upset over and reassure her it's nothing.
     
  19. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    This simple yet perfect advice deserves a re-posting.
     
  20. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Easy. She is giving you the "man test."

    She is insinuating you cheated on her and are a liar. You should take the initative to tell her next time that you won't tolerate being treated like that as it's disrespectful.

    Yeah, she is telling you that you have too much self control, and are basically not invested in the problems that come up. Basically, it is like she is saying "You don't care about our problems because you don't take them seriously." For example, when she called you a whore, you could have taken offense to that and - CALMLY - said that her behavior is unacceptable.

    You should have told her that you absolutely will NEVER tolerate her lying to her. Let her know that you cannot and will not abide by liars, and if you find out she lies to you again then you will likely dump her and find someone respectful and mature. And you MUST mean it.

    A dishonest woman is one of the top four things to avoid. Yes, you are young, but you MUST have standards and you MUST tell her what they are. If you let her do this once, then next week it's going to be "I was at a party and kissed a guy. Oh, no, just kidding!" The problem here is that you are essentially saying (by not saying) "I don't care about anything you do. And because I don't care that you lie to me, it's because I don't care about you. In fact, things are over, and I am just with you because there is no better woman at the time." You MUST think very carefully about what signal you are sending her.

    You MUST get upset when she lies to you, you MUST let her know your standards and expectations, and you MUST put her in her place by scolding her (again, CALMLY and POLITELY and in a MATURE manner but MEAN IT) when she breaks your standards. If you don't, then she will realize you are a child, and women don't usually stay attracted to a man with no standards who instead puppy-dog follows her around. Women want a strong man, a leader, a decision maker, and a protector.

    I would *highly* suspect otherwise with HER. While she has not recognized it yet, what she is doing is the very first warning signs of things starting to go wrong. Most guys post this stuff after a few months, when things got worse, and got dumped by their GF. You need to start paying attention and taking action now if you want things to continue.

    Which is when you say something like "Hey, I know you're in a bad mood, but that does not give you the right to treat me rudely. I'm here to help, but I'm not your punching bag. Pull yourself together and let's talk it out."

    Bottom line? You need to give her a little "shake up" and let her know that you are in control, and because you care the things she does IS upsetting to you and the reprocussions will be that *you* will leave *her* if she doesn't act more mature. Remember, you are the prize, and you make the decisions, and that is what she wants you to keep reminding her of - in actions, not words.
     
  21. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    And... :)

    Yes, but be wary of her falling "out" of you as well.

    But the reason why she likes you is because you likely have been in control, and you need to be in control, like a mature adult male.

    It is.

    Exactly.

    Good.

    Shouldn't matter if you handle yourself in a mature manner.

    On an unrelated note, be sure you know her views on abortion. What happens if she gets pregnant - does she have the same views as you? And are you sure?
     
  22. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Finally...

    Do you demand she treats YOU with respect? That's much more powerful.

    You should avoid long conversations on the phone, and fights. The phone should be used as a tool for making dates (i.e., setting up times you are going to get together.) I always recommend less talking on the phone, more time in person. Huge miscommunications often occur over the phone as 90% of communication between humans in non-verbal, like eye contact and body language.

    Exactly. However, you need to react like her father would - don't let her get away with pulling BS like this. Be adult about it and demand that she also is an adult. You are both adults as far as I am concerned if you act like it. :)
     
  23. The Assassin

    The Assassin New Member

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    thanks a bunch everybody :wavey:

    as of now ive gotten everything resolved thus far

    slightly off topic

    whats everybodys opinion on when to say "I love you" like whats too early and whats too late in a relationship? the ideal way is to say it when you mean it but it doesnt always tend to work out that way
     
  24. fray

    fray New Member

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    Depends on the relationship, and I would say age/experience as well. I think you're more likely to say it earlier when you are younger/less experienced....

    Don't get suckered into saying it if you don't mean it.

    When you think you're in love and you really want to tell her....wait a few months. Still feel that way? Still together? Things going okay? Now start thinking about saying it. There's my two cents....

    edit: i would hold off on the "i love you" with the current gf f i were you... you guys have some issues.
     
  25. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Gut instinct of mine. DO NOT tell a 17 year old woman you love her. Why? How many times do you think the average 17 year old woman has heard this in order for a guy to get physical with her?

    Also, it's very easy for young people to jump into saying it (I've been there, I'm pretty sure we've all been there). My best advice would be to not say it, because, quite frankly, I don't think either of you truly "love" each other. This is nothing against the two of you, I just am beginning to doubt that anyone can love anyone until they are at least 25. Keep in mind, I'm only 22 myself.

    However, I'm not saying that you can't care for her/respect her/appreciate her. So, I guess my best advice would be to focus more on showing how you feel rather than telling her.

    Honestly, for almost all young women, talk is cheap....the "I love you" gets used against them way too often.

    I figure its better to show her you care through your actions, and thus help her realize that the words can be cheap and used against her. Also, she should be showed that she doesn't need to rely on the "l" word.
     

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