Getting the honeymoon feelings back

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by turbo_babe91, Jun 27, 2007.

  1. turbo_babe91

    turbo_babe91 New Member

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    So i've been dating my BF for almost 2 years now.
    When we first started dating things were going really well. Whenever I saw him he was always excited to see me, couldn't keep his hands off of me and wanted to sleep with me every time we were alone together... We moved in together in Feb and ever since then things have gone down hill. At first things were good and were excited and happy to be living together.

    Now I'm lucky to get sex once a week. And if I do it's usually because I'm initiating it. When he gets home from work or when he comes in from the garage he goes straight to the computer. We hardly ever cuddle anymore. It's wake-up, work come home sit on the computer and then go to bed.. I'm really starting to resent moving in with him. I've tried talking to him about it and he just shruggs it off. Nothing is ever exciting anymore. He says he's stressed all the time (the rent increased when we moved in together)
    I love him so much and I want to marry him but I don't know how much more of it i can take. I always feel like the less important thing in his life and I just don't know what to do... I hate feeling like i'm the only one who wants to try at this relationship. There is an age gap too. Im 21 and he's 35. I'm mature, young and beautiful. I just don't know what I can do or say anymore without seeming like an insecure pest. I asked him once before why he doesn't want to have sex as much and he says it's because he can have it whenever he wants. But when we do have sex it's because I want to.
    :wtc::sadwavey:
     
  2. IWLSR5

    IWLSR5 Member

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    Welcome to my world. I have the exact same problem. Been together for years. Got engaged last November and moved in together in December. We have only had sex 8 times since we have been living together. And it isn't from a lack of trying. I have to initiate it every single time. The last few months I have noticed that she won't even change in front of me anymore. Now she will go off in the bedroom or bathroom to change. She stares off at her laptop every night when I am home. She would rather spend all day and night talking to people online and sit in silence than talk to the person that she supposedly loves that is sitting right next to her. We have hardly any physical contact. It is getting very frustrating and I don't know what to do to get the girl that I fell in love with back.
     
  3. Something is really wrong, you need to find out what.
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    The thing that most people don't realize and/or want to accept is that most often than not love just goes through different phases. Anyone who has been in a long term relationship will tell you that after a few years that "honeymoon" phase wears off. Why do you think they call it a "phase." If it were supposed to be that way forever it would just be the way things were. Love grows into a more comfortable thing. The problem is that a lot of couples get to that point ans start freaking out that it is:
    a. No longer exciting
    b. Going nowhere
    c. Worsening their insecurities
    When this happens people tend to automatically assume it is make or break time. You can either give up, or fight for what you really want.

    However, the other problem is that sometimes it is too late. One of the people in the couple might have already made up his/her mind and just no longer has feelings. People fall out of love pretty easily really. Not to sound like a downer, but just stating the facts. I'm sure you have (but I have to ask), have you really tried talking to him about this? I mean really tried?

    He sounds stressed and confused. I mean he is 35 and you are so so young. Is marriage even an idea in his head? I only ask these things because if it (the relationship) is over in his head the good news is you are so young and can easily find a much younger mate who is probably more carefree and eager to still have sex with you.
     
  5. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    short anwser for the "young, beautiful, mature" woman.

    Dump him and get sex from someone else. He is 35...he probably does not have the same sex drive he did at 21.
     
  6. MoP

    MoP New Member

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    This is why I oppose marriage so much... love is a chemical addiction which wares off eventually.

    I believe in monogamy ...but not marriage
     
  7. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    rofl... find a man who works out a lot... his testosterone and libido are going to be so fucking high its you ladies who are going to be complaining because he 'always wants to fuck.'
     
  8. ryckmonster

    ryckmonster New Member

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    i feel like deep down i believe this completely... but i think i'm too much of a pussy to live it..
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    No one forces you to get married....so live that way if you want to
     
  10. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    go on a mini vacation somewhere, or even a date. do you think there is really a problem, or is it more concerning that things have changed from one status to something different. different doesn't automatically mean bad.
     
  11. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    What the hell man, I haven't even responded to you in a week. Instead when I read something you post I get out of my chair, walk across the room and headbutt the wall. I get the same result from that, and it takes less time. Not to mention I have NEVER said you project your life onto others, I just say you are jaded.

    You have some sort of weird obsession with me... It's flattering kind of, but also very creepy :ugh:
     
  12. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    What is your deal? I posted because you brought me into your last post. Maybe you should be sending the PMs :hsugh:

    I at least stopped helping you kill threads by giving you someone to attack. ibthisthreadgoestoshitbecauseViperwillkeeptryingtostartafightwithme
     
  13. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    I hate to further this, and I apologize to everyone for adding another post to this thread that has nothing to do with this thread.

    Viper either you are right, and a bunch of us get together every night and conspire to constantly show how big of an ignorant tool you are.

    Or

    This is you: [​IMG]
     
  14. Kalypso

    Kalypso New Member

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    Next meeting is saturday, inform Yail
     
  15. Where's my invitation? :rofl:
     
  16. Kalypso

    Kalypso New Member

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    PMs
     
  17. Thanks man. :rofl:
     
  18. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    are you children done arguing? :p
     
  19. Kalypso

    Kalypso New Member

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    Yail brings home the paycheck, me and Beast keep the place tidy. Xapum just sits around and smokes pot all day, he doesn't really do anything, I think we're gonna throw his ass out.
     
  20. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    :rofl: If this was a few years ago you might have pegged me almost 100%, except for the sitting around doing nothing. I was stoned 24/7 but went about my normal everyday business, just :420:

    Plus you can't kick me out, I'm the only one that brings the girls home :noes:
     
  21. Kalypso

    Kalypso New Member

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    Talk to Beast, I care not for them, I just wanna watch movies
     
  22. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    :rofl: so clearly misinterpreted hahahaha. gold.
     
  23. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    From the perspective of the other side.........

    I was your b/f. Me and my ex-g/f dated for just about 6 years and were head over heals for each other the first few years. Naturally things got "too comfortable" after a while and I just stopped doing the little stuff that mattered.

    I wouldn't hold her hand in public, I wouldn't be flirty with her or hug her when I saw her, etc... Things just became so comfortable to the point that she didn't think I really cared about her anymore and we were more friends than anything.

    Well, she broke it off and now I am crushed. I realized everything I did wrong, and how absolutely stupid I was to let myself get like that and be so unaffectionate and unappreciative with her. It is too late now to change things for me, but after she dumped me and told me why she did it I came to realize just how many attributed faults I had in the relationship and now I would give ANYTHING to have another chance.

    Point is, maybe he is just being an uncaring douche, or maybe he is like me and still loves you more than anything but fails to show it as much as he should. Talk to him and tell him how you feel and let him know that if things don't change you will have to leave.

    I wish I had a second chance to make things right with the girl I lost. We are still friends though so I hope one day she will give me to opportunity to make it right..... Hell, we were even planning to get married after school.
     
  24. DarkAngel19

    DarkAngel19 New Member

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    Well, not too much to add here, follow the advice from Viper, it seems to be very similar to what you are going through. It is very important to be honest with yourself here, and don't sugar coat your or your boyfriend's rolls in your mutual life.

    As far as the banging goes... I moved in with my bf in February and we have had sex every day or close to. How, you ask? I constantly remind myself of how much I love sex and head, and if I ever don't feel like I'm in the mood, I watch porn to get freaky. I make it a point to get naughty with him. It may sound forced, but I do it so much that it's now part of our day to fuck, and if that part doesn't come, like skipping breakfast, you just don't feel right.

    The one time that our sparks weren't flying, I let it go a week then invited him to a park with me to lie in the sun. I made sure to wear a hat so halfway through the date I unzipped him and sucked him off right there in the middle of the park. It was so hot, he molested me for weeks afterwards. The next time I felt a lull, I pulled down his pants in the middle of the kitchen and sat on my knees looking up at him while I sucked him and let him cum all over my mouth.

    Moral of the story? My sex advice is to give him amazing head (or sex) in a spontaneous place, act like it's the only thing you have ever wanted in this world, and he will see you as a sexual woman again. My guess is that he's stopped seeing you that way, even if you haven't changed at all. It's in his head that you have to help him with.

    This coming from a woman, I admit total guessing there.

    DA
     
  25. I'm busy eating too often, so we never get anything done. :rofl:
     

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