getting over the sexual chemistry w/ an ex

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by themolsen, Oct 8, 2009.

  1. themolsen

    themolsen New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2006
    Messages:
    7,414
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Jacksonville, FL
    The ongoing saga of me getting over the ex who raped my heart...

    I'm so tired of HER. I wish I never thought about her and just want to move on for good. But I have these dreams at night that are solely about her finding a new dick. It fucks me up :o

    It's the sexual chemistry we had that I can't let go of; the idea that I "conquered that pussy." And I CONQUERED it. She had numb hands and all kinds of weird things happen to her when we had sex. It freaked her out a couple of times, actually lol. Plus, it's nice to be with a woman who gets off from very specific things that you've figured out, and she would over and over and over and over -- my bed was almost always soaked afterwards.

    *I know I'm not the first and I know I'm not the last to hit it*

    I take SOME comfort in knowing that it's not likely she's going to hook up with someone and find that chemistry -- that it was our closeness and love and my sensitivity to her that helped make it what it was. You just can't replicate that through a one-time screw. And she's very opposed to relationships right now (seeing a counselor about it).

    Nevertheless, the thought that someone else will hit that and she'll enjoy it (even if less so) makes me mad and, honestly, jealous and insecure. And the thought that she might one day "teach" MY techniques to some new dude to use on her makes me LIVID. She never taught me; if anything, I taught her a few things :naughty:

    The thing is, I've been in relationships twice as long where the sex wasn't even a fraction as good and was able to move on a lot easier.

    So is the solution for me to conquer someone else's? Is this feeling of "owning" a woman sexually common with other men here? Does it become a large barrier to you getting past a woman?

    As men, I think we all like to believe we're the tops and the "best she's ever had and will ever have."

    And I know that men generally rate physical infidelity worse than emotional infidelity, so it would make sense that it would still be an issue even after the relationship is over.

    lulz :o

    Just being honest...
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    You do realize you can and will make another woman respond to sex that way, right?

    Give yourself a break. Go on a date first :)
     
  3. themolsen

    themolsen New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2006
    Messages:
    7,414
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Jacksonville, FL
    That's the thing... I feel like I'm not going to be able to move past this feeling until I get that with another woman. Is that strange? lol

    And I want another girl who squirts :hs:
     
  4. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2007
    Messages:
    30,849
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    :rofl:

    You sound like me. Broke up with the ex a year ago, and yet to find sex as good/better than her :o

    It'll come, just gotta find the right broad first brother.
     
  5. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2007
    Messages:
    30,849
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    Alright weird

    same situation :eek3:
     
  6. themolsen

    themolsen New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2006
    Messages:
    7,414
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Jacksonville, FL
    There's something strangely satisfying about that... I've talked to other guys who feel the same
     
  7. BoomBoomBoy

    BoomBoomBoy Guest

    You're young, and there are millions of other squirters. :rofl:
     
  8. themolsen

    themolsen New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2006
    Messages:
    7,414
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Jacksonville, FL
    I'm sure. My question is is there any way to get over this feeling other than railing someone else? Not that I don't want to rail someone else, but I'm usually not the one-night-stand kind of person.
     
  9. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2003
    Messages:
    18,807
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ontario
    Yeah, suck it up and start meeting new people. When you start having new girls to be interested in, regardless of railing them you'll stop being so damn emo about it all
     
  10. themolsen

    themolsen New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2006
    Messages:
    7,414
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Jacksonville, FL
    fair enough
     
  11. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2004
    Messages:
    23,699
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NoVA
    You can't have sexual chemistry with someone if they've been chopped into pieces and scattered in the forest. Just FYI.
     
  12. PcH

    PcH Guest

    Some people will say the best way to get over a girl is to get under one. Talking from personal experience, I will agree and disagree with that statement. Take time out for yourself and do the things in life that make you happy before really getting your hands dirty.
     
  13. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2002
    Messages:
    14,236
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    NYC
    Out.

    My ex was kind of like yours. Not very easy to get off until you find a few very specific tricks. There was definitely a sense of real accomplishment becuase it took months of tough times to get things worked out, but after that everything was very good.

    Don't miss it much. Much prefer a girl thats a little less picky about what it takes so I can be creative and just have fun.
     
  14. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2009
    Messages:
    924
    Likes Received:
    0
    Been there done that, my ex was the same way. Eventually through time and finding other people you'll forget about it. I honestly could watch my ex have sex with another man/women and probably jerk off to it with the feeling of it being porn. Wouldn't give 2 shits less. But time really does cure all things and you'll just have to go out and meet new people and experience new things.
     
  15. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

    Joined:
    May 29, 2000
    Messages:
    49,189
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    sounds like it's not the chemistry you need to get over, it's your ego :o
     
  16. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2008
    Messages:
    3,680
    Likes Received:
    0
    :werd:
     
  17. themolsen

    themolsen New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2006
    Messages:
    7,414
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Jacksonville, FL
    Perhaps
     
  18. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    - I'll never find another chick who is as good in bed
    - I'll never find another chick who has no gag reflex
    - I'll never find another chick who is a squirter
    - I'll never find another chick who can have 11ty billion orgasms in 5 minutes and make me feel like the manliest man ever
    - I'll never find another chick with whom I enjoy sex as much
    - I'll never find another chick who moans and screams in just the right way
    - I'll never find another chick who orgasms just from the thought of ATM

































    Oneitis






    You should be thinking:

    - I'll never find another chick who is as psycho again (or whatever was wrong with your ex)

    There has to be SOME things that pissed you off about her. You're just in super guy-mode right now and you're only thinking about sex and your physical conquests. What did you hate about her?

    Did she squeeze the toothpaste from the middle?

    Did she put the tp roll on the wrong way?

    Did she not like animals?

    Did she not swallow?

    Did she use sex as a control method?

    Did she pronounce some word a weird way and it drove you nuts whenever she said it?

    Did she have slutty friends?

    Did she have annoying friends?

    Did she think Dane Cook was funny?

    Did she have shitty taste in home decor?

    Focus on those things.
     
  19. themolsen

    themolsen New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2006
    Messages:
    7,414
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Jacksonville, FL
    Yes, I have a list of reasons not to like her. So that helps.
     
  20. epracmetcon

    epracmetcon New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2003
    Messages:
    1,202
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Illinois
    Me and my woman just went separate ways and I guess I am feeling the same way. But after reading this I just had to laugh and go yanno, ya, some of those things she did I HATED.

    THank you.
     
  21. pirothezero

    pirothezero New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2007
    Messages:
    127
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Austin,TX
    This.

    Went through that shit early August. I felt like shit for like 2 days and then I started going out and meeting back up with old friends from high school in my hometown and exploring a town that I've been away from for 5 years. Get out and do stuff. Stay away from home. Locking up everything that was your exs or throwing it in a drum and having a bonfire with your friends is one hell of a good way to move on.
     
  22. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    :werd:
     
  23. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    List them. I want to help share the hate.
     
  24. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2004
    Messages:
    23,699
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NoVA
    :werd:
     
  25. PcH

    PcH Guest

    I know your post was directed towards the TS, but I can say that my ex became so damn controlling towards the end of my relationship.
     

Share This Page