Getting over her

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Tucker McElroy, Jan 9, 2008.

  1. Tucker McElroy

    Tucker McElroy New Member

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    I broke up with my GF of 4.5 years 2 months ago. We had minimal interaction the first month, only saw each other to sort out the shit in the house, went our seperate ways, and have had no interaction in the last month.

    Its been 2 months but I'm still bothered by what I'm hearing about her from people who still see her. "She's doing this, she's hanging out with this person (guys and girls), she said this..."

    Why the fuck do I care? I'm genuinely interested in digging this information from people who see her, but for what? I have absolutely ZERO interest in reuniting. However, I still feel somewhat "responsible" for her and when I hear certain things are going on in her life, it troubles me to the point where I want to call her and smack some sense into her (figuratively speaking)

    How can i accelerate the process of completely not giving a shit? I'm thinking back to other relationships, and 2 months after any of those ended, I wouldn't care if the girl fucked 5 black guys on my front lawn. But with this one, the piddliest shit bothers the hell out of me. :rant:
     
  2. owenstar

    owenstar New Member

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    First step is to date others....

    When you have that to focus on, the ex quickly becomes a thing of the past...

    And go out with the guys and get smashed...
     
  3. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Tell those people to stop telling you things about her. If you are the one asking about her then stop doing it and tell people to smack you upside the head anytime you ask about her again.
     
  4. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    when you get curious, stop yourself and don't pursue information about her.

    and as has been said, start focusing your energy and thoughts on other girls.
     
  5. CowsniperRX7

    CowsniperRX7 Rear Admiral

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    Definitely. Someone new is the best way to get over someone old. Basicly cut all ties and you won't worry about it anymore. If you keep in contact you will still miss/think about her.

    Go out and find some strange pussy.
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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  7. Kalypso

    Kalypso New Member

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    The only thing that works for me is putting someone out of your life. Whenever I try to stay friends with them from the breakup on it never works, have to have an extended period of separation.
     
  8. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    There is no accelerating this chief.

    You've only got TWO solutions to this, and anybody who tells you anything else is just bullshitting you. The ONLY two solutions to this is:

    1. Time
    2. Distraction
     
  9. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    short and sweet.
     
  10. damM3

    damM3 Active Member

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    spoken like a true relationship prophet
     
  11. Kalypso

    Kalypso New Member

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    pretty much
     
  12. Tucker McElroy

    Tucker McElroy New Member

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    thanks a bunch to you all, i do appreciate the time you spent to reply

    although i agree that time and distraction will certainly do it, i just wish there was a magic bullet for times like these

    :wavey:
     
  13. Mangopork

    Mangopork New Member

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    Read the book "How to fall out of love"

    It's real psych, so it works.
     
  14. owenstar

    owenstar New Member

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    booze is the magic bullet....beer bong is the magic .45 to deliver the goods...

    Seriously....I have been dating 5 women over the past 5 months...

    I was in an 8 year relationship and another for 1 year...it took me about a month to screw my head back on and jump in the fire....These new women are so damn awesome...and the best part is I still have more to meet...
     
  15. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    First of all, stop digging into what she is doing... and if others bring it up, stop them in their tracks. The less you know the better, and the easier it is to move forward... Trust me on that.

    After 4.5 years you cannot reasonably expect to be over her after only 2 months... It's going to take a lot longer and it's pretty natural to feel protective of her still... I went through the same thing.
    Start hanging out with other girls as much as possible too... that will help you forget.

    It seems every ex g/f goes through a phase after a long relationship ends where she hangs with the wrong crowd and the wrong people... almost as if it is intentionally to piss you off. I went through it too... Just don't think about it, and constantly remind yourself how you are better off without her and the losers/shady people she is hanging with.
     
  16. Tucker McElroy

    Tucker McElroy New Member

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    exactly how i feel, glad i'm not alone, thank you :)
     
  17. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    Yep.

    When my ex and I broke up she started hanging out daily with all her friends she knew I thought were a bad influence.

    Then she started hanging with these two dudes (they are cousins) that used be good friends of mine (we were all friends) but I stopped talking to them because they damn near 30 (I am only 22 and the ex is 23) and all they do is smoke pot, drink, and waste their lives away living on their parents' money. They are also two of the least trustworthy/genuine guys I know.........

    So, it came as no surpise when she got drunk with them and expected them to take care of her but instead one of them ended up sexually forcing himself on her; holding her down by her arms, and forcing kisses on her, etc...
    Luckily she punched him and convinced him to get out of the room.

    I don't know why they do it. I guess after a long relationship girls just wanna hang out with people that are "fun" and people they know you didn't like... and generally that means those people are losers.
     
  18. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    they want to be independent. and what better way to assert that independence than by doing something they know you wouldn't approve of if you had a say?
     
  19. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    Yeah, I guess that pretty much explains it all right there.

    Funny how their "new found entitlement to independence" usually gets them in trouble and puts them in a bad place in life. Doesn't sound very "independent" to me :rofl:
     
  20. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    you need to work on overcoming your S.P.S.
     
  21. Tucker McElroy

    Tucker McElroy New Member

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    wat?
     
  22. Tucker McElroy

    Tucker McElroy New Member

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    poor communication on both of our parts, we were unable to express our disatisfaction with each other in a healthy way, just as much my fault as hers but i finally decided enough was enough :(
     
  23. meatball

    meatball you're the grasshole ya grasshole OT Supporter

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    I dated a girl for that exact amount of time and it was a loooong road to getting over her. Probably about a year.


    I fucked a ridiculous amount of random girls during that time too (not a different one every night or anything, but a shitload on my standards). It helped temporarily, like I would bask in my accomplishment for a week and then be back to square one. It accomplished nothing in the long term.

    After seemingly forever, something weird started happening. When I randomly stumbled across a picture of her under my bed or something that I lost...she just wouldn't seem as attractive as she used to be. That lure she once had was slipping. I started thinking about her less and less, and all of the issues I had with her in the first place started going away. I started having genuine compassion for her, like a memory of a friend who moved....which says a lot because I hated her for a while.


    I should add that I actually broke up with her. Which is a weird concept that I grieved over my own decision, but I moved away and sort of regretted it and she moved on to somebody else...which I took hard for some reason. I lost my virginity to her at 14 and dated her until I was essentially 19...so that's a lot of history to forget regardless of who did the breaking up. Even to this day she is a huge portion of my memory, which is impossible to erase because she was there every day of my teenage life.

    I think I'm officially 100% over her. The only thing holding me back from saying 100% is because it's been two years and I haven't found a girl I've even remotely cared about since. I've dated girls on little one month stints and randomly fucked a few more, but I literally couldn't care less about any of them. Maybe it's just the girls I'm meeting. :dunno:

    The best medicine is also conversation with people in similar situations. My two best friends were in less severe, but nearly identical situations. So if you have any questions about the process I'd be more than happy to share with you what I know...which unfortunately is a shitload.
     
  24. meatball

    meatball you're the grasshole ya grasshole OT Supporter

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    Oh, and I also need to add that in those two years, we had two reunion tours over winter breaks and whatnot and started fucking like rabbits again. The feelings were rekindled, but in the end we ended up worse than we started. I highly recommend steering clear of trying to return to it, as comforting as it may seem. Don't get me wrong, we had a lot of fun, but I definitely came out of it worse than going into it...which made the "getting over" process that much more complicated.
     

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