SRS Getting over hang-ups with new g/f's

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by bitetobreakskinn, Oct 21, 2005.

  1. bitetobreakskinn

    bitetobreakskinn Blinky the Christmas Ghost

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    So after years of not dating (22 now, haven't from like 19 til now), I'm dating this girl who I already think the world of, but when it comes to like, the "past relationships", I don't know how to get over these little stupid hangups I have.

    I've had sex before, she hasn't, and yet while she doesn't care that I've done it, I keep thinking to myself "I wonder how many guys she's fooled around with, blown, etc", and it's completely retarded to do to her, because she doesn't do the same thing to me.

    I always feel like a dick when I bring it up, but I don't know how to stop myself from worrying about the past stuff all the time. :wtc:
     
  2. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    You sound like me. My past reads like a bad porn magazine and he was a good boy. He can ignore my past and yet I am annoyed that he had a past before me.

    I found the easiest way to cope was to ask about it. Of course he was comfortable with it so it didn't cause a big problem.

    It really is within your control. Nothing she can do will make you think differently it is up to you. Do you best to remind yourself of what you past sexual partners mean to you right now and realise that she is just like you... past in past :)
     
  3. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Um, everyone has a past, and there is nothing you can do about it. I personally wold rather be with a woman who has experience than not, because then she'll be more open, more fun. Besides, what about other things in her past? Do you care how many bikes she's owned? How about how many times she has gone on vacation? Probably not, but those are life experiences also - you're hung up on it for YOUR reasons, not hers. So what are your reasons, huh? ;) I think you need to look inside for the answer, not look to her.

    You are being a dick when you bring it up. It shows her that you lack confidence, you're acting immature, and she will think less of you. I would recommend you knock it off. If you don't she is going to start getting bothered by it, and will probably start to think you are incompatible, and then you'll have nothing to worry about - because she'll leave you and find a mature man who doesn't care.

    How would you feel if she did the same thing to you, right now? What if she kept bringing up the fact that you were less experienced, all the time, would you feel like a loser? Would you tolerate that for long? (I sure wouldn't, I would think it was rude, immature, and a hint that I need to find someone better.)

    So lighten up, enjoy her for who she is TODAY not what she did in the past.
     
  4. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Agree with everyone here. The issue and problem here is with you, not her, so why punish her for it?
     
  5. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I am 100% for frighteningly blunt and candid discussions.
     

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