SRS Getting over a breakup/heartbreak

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by DaneMan, Dec 20, 2009.

  1. DaneMan

    DaneMan Active Member

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    Sorry if this thread rambles, but please try to comprehend as much as possible.

    I guess I might be a classic example of coping with bad heartbreak. I've been talking to some of my good friends about it. It helps a bit right now, but not completely of course. I guess just talking about it with a variety of people seems to help calm me down and ease my mind.

    I should start by saying that I just fell out of an almost two year relationship. For the most part, in my opinion, it was pretty good. She was 19-20 (going on to 21 soon) and I was 22-24. Of course, originally, this was sort of an age gap for us but initially as well, it didn't really pose a problem. However, I guess around this time last year and then again for a bit during last summer, things would get rocky. The problem with both of us is that we we're heavy drinkers. We would get drunk, say things we didn't mean. My problem on top of that is how i'm skeptic. I honestly sometimes took things out of proportion (sometimes I thought she was getting with others when she wasn't, complaining how she acted, yadda yadda). But I guess she was hurt when I would throw her out of my house sometimes and not talk to her for a couple hours during a handful of these arguments (Did this drunk, sometimes not drunk). It was a bad habit of mine. She explained to me this was really selfish of me to ignore her during those situations (the reason I did sometimes was to cool down, but I didn't really make this clear). I guess, from her point of view, she makes a good point...maybe. Sometimes as well I would get frustrated and say we we're done but I never really meant it.

    Well, jump forward in time from last winter and summer to now. Recently, I had begun doing this again with our bickering. Finally, two days ago, I guess she had enough and without seeing me, simply called me and told me we we're over. She didn't come to see me in person (although she claims she is this Monday) to discuss matters. Then when I tried to actually speak with her about it, she just ignored me initially. After awhile, I finally got her to speak on the phone again with me. She claims she needs "time and space" and doesn't want to "give in" to me again. She keeps mentioning how "time will heal us" and how she believes we will be back together after awhile. I'm not sure if the latter is her hinting at this literally and maybe she doesn't want to straight admit it. Reason I think this too is how she claims she doesn't want another boyfriend right now and also thinks it would be good being on her own for awhile (shes jumped into relationship to relationship for the past four years or so). I mostly believe her since her claims are headstrong and straightforward. But of course, anything can happen, so I try not to hold my breath over it.

    I guess in some ways, I sort of deserve this based on my actions. I just can't shake this thought of not having her around anymore I mean, based on what I said is only the negative times and there was way far more positive times. I don't really understand why i'm depressed like this in some ways. I try to go out with my friends, do other things or what not. I constantly find myself pacing and somewhat crying over it. But it just seems tough. Granted, this has only occured within' the last two days...so maybe i'm still in the early stages of heartbreak.

    Any advice OT?
     
  2. Thomas Crenshaw

    Thomas Crenshaw New Member

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    stop drinking. keep yourself busy
     
  3. dmcgill

    dmcgill New Member

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    Fuck that, keep drinking. Staying hammered always seems to help me focus on the better things in life. But I'm an unusually happy drunk. When I fell out of my first love, I nearly drank myself to death...but I was happy while doing it.
     
  4. DaneMan

    DaneMan Active Member

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    Ah, I realize its only a bandage for a time period.
     

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