Getting Hung Up

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by i dangled you, Apr 16, 2007.

  1. I think I know why people get hung up on one girl. The reason is because most people end up falling in love with that person. Similar to a drug addiction, they need the person around. Normally these are the worst possible women to run into, because they know you need them and they take full advantage of it. They seem to be great, next thing you know, they treat you like shit. Being human you naturally want someone to love you. You can't help it at all, and these girls take over your life in that regard, and you get hung up on them. At least was the case with me.

    I watched myself in the past 8 or so months (still proudly single). First it was the emotional pain of being dumped (took me a few months to get over that). Then it was the emotional pain of being fucked over (still struggle with that from time to time), then it was my hatred of her (took a up until last month that I stopped hating her), then it was the missing the sex (currently going through that), then it was also being lonely at times (off and on at times). Maybe I'm just different than most, but as I see it, you get hung up on a girl because in your mind you made her out to be better than the rest, and in that time you need to deprogram yourself (one of the toughest tasks ever).

    No I am not hung up on my ex. When you successfully accomplish that, then you are over a girl. Also having another girl around helps you get past that. No I am not asking for advice, just making an observation. Comments or opinions are appreciated.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 16, 2007
  2. P7

    P7 You have something on your tongue, let me get that

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    Love isn't being human. Being human is eating and reproducing just like every other being on the planet. The socialized human is programmed to believe that he should find a single mate and love only her. As far as why men become obsessed with one girl, I think it has to do more with the guy only having one girl in his life. I know that the few times I fell in love I didn't have any girl---friends other than her.

    Having only one in your life will make you focus on her and if she's any kind of catch you'll start thinking of her as the greatest woman on the planet, and over months or years thinking like that you think that no other can match up. Then the day comes when you realize that you two weren't so compatible after all and your entire concept of women is turned upside down. "How could this perfect woman and I part ways? We were perfect!?!"

    Now the guy with a girlfriend and other girl---friends is playing his cards right. He loves his girlfriend and thinks she's great, maybe the greatest. But sometimes she whines when he doesn't open the door for her, and sometimes she is overdemanding, and sometimes she... and so on. He notices that the other girls in his life don't share these drawbacks. When they break up he might be hurt for a little while, but it's going to be much easierfor him to get on the horse and realize that his ex wasn't so perfect.
     
  3. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    This is probably one of the hardest things for most people to get over. Not only men but women too. I think that it's a lot easier to get over someone if your around your friends and such. Then your mind doesn't always think about that person and so on.
     
  4. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    I have been cheated on. It took about a month to stop being fucked up. Another month to start reevaluating my shit. Third month to kick my new found plans into action, and this forth month I am making out with my ex's best friend and she's nearly girlfriend status, just give me one more scene with her.

    It hurts. I know too well. 2 years, and this is how she says goodbye? Then she tried to commit suicide on me to get me back? 3 days not knowing if she was dead or alive, then a call from the local mental hospital?

    I learnt a lot from that experiance. It was probally one of the best lessons I have been taught in my life. While I have some stuff I regret, I did not deserve it, but it did not have potential for marriage, so as it is.

    Time heals. Not identifying with the issue heals it faster. If you have long dramatic nights alone, it will take 8-12 months to heal from a relationship.

    I joined the gym, I made new friends, I hanged out with my old friends, I tried hard at school, I did everything to stop identifying with her. How painful it is when the phone rings, and every time you hear it you think it could be her...

    There is not much else you can do but work on yourself. Joining the gym was probally in the top ten best moves I've made in this lifetime.

    So we have your evaluation of being hung up. I guess I was not hung up on her anymore, since she violated the one rule that would lead me to divorce (break up) from her. She was told, she knew. She lost out, and now her childhood best friend gains.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I've been thinking a lot more into the idea of men and how much they can love. Because it's a common theme that when a man falls, he falls hard and he is usually really fucked in the head after his first love. In fact one of my biggest annoyances when I was singing and dating was that every guy I met would seem very cool, but almost all had extreme baggage about the first girl they fell in love with.

    Women, of course we mourn, of course some of us take forever to get over a love, but it does seem like we can fall in love just a little bit easier...I don't know. This all stumps me.
     
  6. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Whoa. Psycho. You're better off without her.
     
  7. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    If only you knew the cosmic crisises she has put me through.

    I am far better off without her.

    Now I am with her best friend, and my best friend is getting with her other best friend from childhood.

    She's done fucked up.
     
  8. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    I think everyone gets fucked up about love, I wouldn't relate it to sex.

    Then again there are some fucking headcase guys I have seen, and some guys who just didn't give a shit. Example: Friend at work's boyfriend still bothers her after a year after she broke up with him (she cheated on him... grr). And my girlfriend almost took her life trying to get me back, which failed, because she cheated on me, grrr... :)

    A girl we are trying to help who is addicted to coke is all fucked up because she was dumped by her crackdealing boyfriend who quit after having his life threatened then decided he was going "strait" with LSD, shrooms, weed, etc.

    She is broken. We are trying to surround her with friends now that will help her get away from it.
     

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