Getting an ex back

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by t-t-t-today, May 12, 2009.

  1. t-t-t-today

    t-t-t-today New Member

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    Hi everyone.

    The reason i'm coming here is because I find that the relationship advice i get from this forum is better than anywhere else i've found.

    My question is about getting an ex-girlfriend back. A little backround:

    I was with this girl for 1 year and 2 months. It was my first relationship and I made a lot of asshole mistakes with her. It took me like 6-7 months before I meet her family and allowed her to meet mine. She saw past all this crap and still loved me and stayed with me. Eventually I introduced her to everyone and I met her family and all was well. Then I made the next problem. I started being an immature prick. I would be extremely nice to her, then I would be immature and piss her off and I wouldn't stop no matter how many times she would warn me that she's getting sick of it. We talked about how much we loved each other like crazy and we started talking about spending the rest of our lives together. I guess I started taking her for granted. Well then she broke up with me because of the immaturity bullshit.

    The breakup happened about 1 month ago. I came here and asked about advice to get her back. I was told to wait at least a month before talking to her again. Foolishly, I let me emotions get the best of me and I contacted her several times telling her I still love her and asking her if she would consider giving me another shot. She never said "no", she would just keep saying that I really need to lay off right now and give her space and time. Last time I talked to her was thursday through text and we started out just friendly talk. Eventually I asked her if she wanted to get together to which she replied, "I really wish you would take it there". After I proded her a little more she told me she has started dating someone new and that she really likes him and she doesn't think she is going to dump him anytime soon. Friday I went in for surgery and I called her when I woke up and she wouldn't even give me the time of day. I was in a lot of pain and I just wanted to hear her voice to sooth me somewhat but she wouldn't even talk to me.

    I know most of you will say "its over move on".

    I've honestly changed though. The surgery cured a big problem for me and that alone has changed my outlook on life. Her leaving me was a wake up call that I have to treat a woman right if I want her to stick around. I've been out and about and i've talked to other girls. I'm definitley not ready to start a new relationship since every time I even begin flirting with a girl I get nervous and start worrying about falling in love and getting hurt again. Plus I compare these other girls to her and they just don't stack up. They don't seem as sweet/considerate. One of them did, but she was about 4 years younger than me so she is out of the question (i'm 20).

    I want this girl back. I'm don't want to pressure her to love me again. I just want to go out and grab some dinner or something and want her to see the new me and maybe we can start our relationship back up if I can show her that I really have changed.

    How should I go about doing this? I don't think she is really into this new guy. She said she's dated him before so maybe she is just using him as a rebound. She told me about her ex's and none of her previous relationships lasted even longer than 5 months.

    So I want her back. I can't talk to her right now because I know she isn't going to listen or agree to give me another shot. What should I do? How should I go about this?
     
  2. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Act like you don't give a shit and fuck other women.
     
  3. Fifafever

    Fifafever OT Supporter

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    Don't do it..move on, you'll find someone better broski.
     
  4. Nomad

    Nomad Active Member

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    honestly, i've been in the same mindframe/situation, but i've admitted that its over and there's nothing i can do to change anything.

    i wanted my ex back for a bit, but when she starting acting bat shit crazy i was like "well fuck that" and accepted the final verdict. it's tough but you just gotta take it one day at a time. spend time with friends/people YOU enjoy being around. for me it was my fraternity. and just enjoy your life, i'm 20 too man, and think about this a lot of the other people on Vag got around 10 years on us. just listen to them and trust that everything, and i literally mean everything, is going to be fine. remember, its not the destination thats important, its the journey.

    :wavey: keep your chin up homie
     
  5. t-t-t-today

    t-t-t-today New Member

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    Ok so are you saying that I shouldn't talk to her at all and wait for her to come to me? We don't have any mutual friends. Acting like I don't give a fuck sounds good, but how would she know that I'm acting like that?


    Yeah, I know you guys are going to say "move on". I understand why that is being said. I know moving on wouldn't be a bad thing but it's not what I want to do. I want another shot with her since the first time around I fucked up.

    What I want to know is how to approach her/not approach her to give me another shot.
     
  6. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    why the fuck would you want to get back in a realtionship with that girl ? all you've done for the past few months is post how horrible it was
     
  7. fluentinsilence

    fluentinsilence New Member

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    I say go ahead and give her another shot and then maybe you'll realize then what a mistake it was since you won't listen to anyone who says anything else.
     
  8. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    Never talk to another girl. Play soppy romantic songs outside her window. Send her flowers every single day. Call her up and then not speak just to hear her voice.

    She'll either take you back or take out a restraining order.

    But move on. Fuck. You're a clinger. You treated her like crap then missed her. She's moved on and you're fixated on her. Let her go. She's over you. She tried to be polite. It didn't work. Take the hint
     
  9. notsousual

    notsousual New Member

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    Erm...It's HER that won't give him a shot bro. But I agree with the not listening thing.

    Especially considering the OP's age...this is something he's just gonna have to figure out on his own. But I'll say the truth anyway, move on, grow up, find someone else and continue on the long romantic road life has got for you. And FYI even if you swear you have, a month isn't enough time to actually change stuff. You will revert back to your ways shortly. Change takes a lot of work over a long time to actually be a real life change.

    Best of luck though.
     
  10. notcreative

    notcreative New Member

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    you think you have changed, but you really haven't. Nobody truly changes. You just think you have because she's gone.

    You need to find a way to move on now, put her in the rearview mirror, remember the time fondly but find someone new. It's not the end of the world and in time you'll get over her and find someone else.
     
  11. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    :rofl: :bowrofl: :rofl: :bowrofl:
     
  12. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    As for real advice... come on bro, you can't be serious?

    You're openly admitting to want her back, cool. But the fact that you start nullifying all her 'creds' is just pure jealousy/insecurity. You've obviously dedicated a lot of time, love, and effort into the relationship and at the same time dug your own grave by acting like a simple immature boy, and she learned that. Although you may 'now' have a new outlook on life and things have changed, why should she believe that? She dealt with you for just over a year and your childish antics, im sure she got sick of that fast.

    Same thing I told you a month ago... you need to give it time. A month isnt a long time. The fact that shes already in a new relationship and is dating a new guy is plenty of reasons alone to back off and give her space. Rebound or not shes dating someone, if you love her, you need to respect that fact and not seem like that crazy ex obsessed boyfriend (which you sound like right now).

    Calling her the moment you wake up from surgery, imo, was a sign of pity. You wanted to talk to her about it and make her feel bad, whether you realize/want to admit, its the truth. You wanted to hear her say, "Aw, Im sorry" or "You'll be fine", blah blah blah.


    Reality of the situation is, you NEED to get let go. Not because of her, but because of yourself. Im not saying let go of the girl and forget her forever, but seriously, you need to learn to be your own person. You can't speak to a girl and EVERY time you speak to a girl be reminded of your ex, its not healthy.

    Even though it feels like your chest was torn open and you can feel your every heart beat, life will move on. It hurts, yes, but a serious relationship is a great stepping stone in life if you can realize its flaws and be willing to move on.
     
  13. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

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    Thats amazing, you've now become my hero.
     
  14. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Really kid? REALLY?

    Are you so much a glutton for punishment or just retarded? If my memory serves me correctly (and it always does) you already tried getting back together with this girl before, it ultimately failed like we ALL told you it would and you said "you all were right, I should have listened to you," and yet you've forgot all that...

    Have fun wasting your time and efforts!
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Scared to be alone, and remember he and the girl both don't have any friends.
     
  16. D7

    D7 OT Supporter

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    Life doesn't work that way. The sooner you accept your reality and move on, the better off you'll be.
     
  17. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    All his problems are fixed now! So everything with her should work out perfectly! :hsugh:
     
  18. Nomad

    Nomad Active Member

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    i apparently am :naughty:
     
  19. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    :werd:

    Something tells me you're just lonely and miss having a girlfriend. It has nothing to do with her really.

    Go out, get active and find someone new :hs:
     
  20. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    DOT.
     
  21. korverftw

    korverftw New Member

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    Get over it, there is no new you. You treated her like crap because you were bored with the relationship and deep down you wanted to get out. Stop being an idiot and just find a new broad.
     
  22. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    The vag has spoken: Run. Run and Don't Look Back.
     
  23. t-t-t-today

    t-t-t-today New Member

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    I have nothing to bring to a relationship. It's just gonna be the same shit all over. I have no social life. How the hell am I supposed to get one? People think it's weird if you don't have any friends. Therefore they are less inclined to be your friend. A girl especially freaks out when you tell her you don't have a social life. What should I do?
     
  24. LudaMan

    LudaMan Active Member

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    You're not the only one who's been in this position dude. I've lost a gf because of immature bullshit before too. You think that you'll never find anyone as good as her, and that you HAVE to get her back, but you don't

    If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be.

    Like someone else said, just give it time, I promise you it gets better. She's obviously moved on and you need to do the same.
     
  25. teep

    teep New Member

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    RUN!
     

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