SRS Getting a girl...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Ashed, Aug 16, 2005.

  1. Ashed

    Ashed New Member

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    I basically suck with girls so I need some suggestions.

    I recently met a girl, we talked for a bit, met a few times with some other friends and now I just can't stop thinking about her. It happened so fast, I mean I haven't really got a chance to really get to know her yet but I think about her 24/7 already. Honestly, I haven't felt like this about a girl in so many years...

    To me, she is more of a quiet person but she does try to make conversations just to be nice. She's 2 years older than me and is already doing Masters while I'm doing Bachelor. We rarely see each other, even we go to the same school because her classes are normally in the evening while mine are in the morning and afternoon.

    Anyway, I went over to her house with my housemate one day to fix some computer-related stuff for her and her housemate. She asked for my number and MSN, in case she needs anymore help or something. I didn't ask for her number as I thought it would be weird with her housemate there also.

    So I basically can only talk to her on MSN and I don't want to call her since it's probably too early and she probably has no feelings for me at all. The thing is she rarely comes online and whenever she comes on she would just go offline 5 minutes later. During the 5 minutes, she set herself to away or N/A.

    My questions are: Do I just talk to her whenever she comes online or what? I mean it seems like she doesn't want to talk anyone since she always goes offline really quickly. Do I just tell her how I feel? On MSN? Is that okay? What should I do?
     
  2. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    Ask her to lunch...a nice al fresco lunch...an outdoor cafe while the weather is still warm.

    Ask how her computer is working, how school is going, and compliment her about something real.

    Be a gentleman and show some manners.

    If she won't do lunch with you, how about a quick cup of coffee?
     
  3. gnat

    gnat New Member

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    Yeah, I was thinking about lunch or coffee with you, can I call you?
     
  4. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Sure, if you see her on MSN, just keep it light and casual. So she pops online...start off with "Hi" and just see where it leads. She brought up the whole MSN thing with you first anyway. Why not right?
     
  5. Kittyblossom

    Kittyblossom A Thousand Shiny Things

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    If MSN is the only place you are able to talk I don't see why it would be a problem to ask her if she wants to go out on a casual date of some kind. If you just met it might be better to talk for a while and get to know each other better before asking her out.

    I wouldn't worry about her getting offline quickly, as she may be temporarily very busy.
     
  6. LiQuiD_FuSioN

    LiQuiD_FuSioN New Member

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    fvck girls
     
  7. B_RowL

    B_RowL OT Supporter

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    Just let things unfold and relax...Give space, so you don't make yourself look desperate and most importantly BE YOURSELF
     
  8. mofo

    mofo New Member

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    You suffer from low self-esteem and don't have much confidence in yourself. Confidence is everything. Stop spending too much time thinking about a girl. It's a waste. Let things happen naturally. Get some guts and ask her out. Call her up and make friendly conversation. She may not respond the way that you would want her to because she may either not be interested, or she may just be quiet and shy like you mentioned. But ask her out anyway. When you are with her, her physical reactions will say a lot.
    Don't sweat it though. Everybody suffers from low self-esteem some time or another. If it doesn't work out with her, it's alright. There are many women out there.
     
  9. Gandin

    Gandin New Member

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    CONFIDENCE.

    Honestly, go in thinking that you are completely worthy of her time, go in ready to talk, ready to smile, ready to have fun. Just hype yourself up, and walk with your chin high. Confidence is a huge turn on for girls.
     
  10. Ashed

    Ashed New Member

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    Okay, thanks for all the input.

    I'm getting to know her a little bit more these days. I went to the movies with her and 2 other friends today. It wasn't so bad but the major problem was I just didn't know what to talk to her about. She's not very talkative and I was the one making most of the conversation. I tried really hard to find things to talk to her about but my mind went blank. How do I deal with quiet girls?
     
  11. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Find out her interests and talk to her about them.
    But not to sound harsh but actually it's better to focus on someone else.
    You can't keep holding up 90% of the conversation forever.

    Some people open up (shyness), but others never really do. They're just naturally quiet and sort of sit there. They let you do most of the talking, they let you entertain them, they let you pay for things.

    At some point you need to ask yourself, "Self, what am *I* getting out of this relationship??" Is her physical beauty so great that I am willing to put up with this bland non-relationship?

    A good relationship should be as near to 50-50 as is practical. Or more like 60/60 with each person engaged, interested, and involved. That's when some magic starts happening.

    Bland disinterested placeholder relationships like this...are good to occupy your time for a little while, but they also prevent you from being free to make a move when the really good one passes thru your life.

    I'd give it a few more chances, but then cut it off if she's still as lively as a wacked fish laying on the docks.
     
  12. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    check out the archives. i helped pioneer a thread on getting girls. gl
     

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