gettin it up

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Project X, Sep 13, 2006.

  1. Project X

    Project X New Member

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    ive had a hard time gettin it up with my gf..

    i dont have any issues really when i get a handjob or shes giving me head.. but i dont really get excited/hard that easily... sometimes when we are making out i have a feelin that i want her to touch and play with me down there and she doesnt so i get turned off.. ill still kiss her but i dont really get excited..

    when we try to have sex.. i sometimes think about it and usually i cant get fully excited and nothing really happens..

    im thinkin most of it is mental but at the same time ive been with her for a long time so i dont know why this is happening.. it shouldnt be my nerves..

    are there any pills i should try like horny goat weed..etc.. any advice?
     
  2. StealingBread

    StealingBread New Member

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    Sounds psychological to me.

    Evaluate your relationship, evaluate your life. Any major things bothering you with either? Anything in the back of your mind? If not and it continues then see a doctor about the problem.

    As far as when you're kissing and she doesn't get the hint, be your direct. grab her hand and direct it to your penis, that would be really hot as well as focus her attention to your pleasure centers.
     
  3. Project X

    Project X New Member

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    i havent been with anyone sexually before her and she has had a few partners.. one being someone i dont like.. when we do start doing things.. i start to think at times is this how she was with other dudes.. this prolly fucks things up and causes me not go get excited.. but im still able to stay hard when gettin head and handjobs.. im not sure wtf the prob is when i wanna try sex.. we've done a few times with her on top.. but any other position.. either i got issues keepin it up or when im in i go down. main issue is that im rock hard and as soon as i try puttin it in it does down or it wont go in and im like wtf
     
  4. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    ok, so it's definitely mental
     
  5. StealingBread

    StealingBread New Member

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    Hmm... I was a virgin before my current boy, and he's had a lady before me, and during the first few month of sex it was so hard to think that I was worse as sex then his ex, and then i didn't know how to pleasure him as well as she did, and that Oh my god, his penis had been inside another vagina. (of a person who i did NOT get along with) Sex was hurtful to my mind and as a result my body too. And during sex I was distracted by those awful thoughts.

    But as you and your lover have sex more and more the thought of whatever those guys names will fade...

    And that could be a HUGE part of why you can't stay up. It hurts like hell to think the person you love had had sex with someone else, one of the most intimate things you can do, plus all the worries.

    And after all fot hat fades and you still have erection problems, either see a doctor or find otu if she really makes you that horny?? (as far as sex..)

    Good luck!! <3
     
  6. StealingBread

    StealingBread New Member

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    OT (the vag more specifically) SOOO needs a resident psychologist!
     
  7. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    I know it's not the same, but I'm sure there are at least a few Psych majors that visit the forum...

    I'm a recently graduated Psych/philosophy major myself...

    and it sounds like it's all in your head. Don't think about it. In fact, don't worry about having sex. Just have fun...and if sex happens, cool. If not, well then, at least you and your girl have still had some fun...
     
  8. StealingBread

    StealingBread New Member

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    Very cool! year after next i'm going to go into college and I knwo its kind early but im better sure I wanna major in Psych and minor in sexology or maybe biology..?
     
  9. Project X

    Project X New Member

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    i also think about how many times she has had sex and how the other boys prolly had no probs keepin it up with her etc...

    early on in our relationship she told me things that she has done.. i wish she didnt tell me these things cuz i think bout it time to time..


    a week ago we were messing around and early in the morning we were gonna do it doggystyle - i would be really hard from her playing and touchin me.. but as soon as i up to get behind her and tried puttin it in i would go down, because i thought there was some difficulty in gettin it inside of her.. i guess i got a lil frustrated..

    some of it may be mental - she turns me on cuz when i receive head or handjob i have no prob stayin hard.
     
  10. JJM Enterprises

    JJM Enterprises New Member

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    It definitely sounds like it's just the thoughts in your head that are causing issues. Have you ever tried any small role-playing? Putting just the slight fantasy in your head might relieve your mind enough to let you just have your way with her, at full attention. After a few of those, your confidence should build since you will know that you've been able to have crazy hard sex with her. Have her dress and act like a teacher of yours - it's a personal fave!
     
  11. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    maybe your girlfriend isnt really that attractive to you? if you were sitting there thinking wow, holy shit, I want to bang the living hell out of this chick, RIGHT NOW, maybe you wouldnt have a problem getting it up?
     
  12. Project X

    Project X New Member

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    i have no probs makin her feel good with my fingers or oral.. she loves it..

    i have tried to focus and trust me i wanna have sex and have my way with her.. its frustrating.. i dont know if its the attractiveness or not.. i tihnk shes really attractive. i havent had sex with anyone else so i don tknow how i would be.. if its me.. or if its i dont find her attractive sexually...

    what i dont get is that im really hard when gettin head and oral but go down as soon as sex happens..
     
  13. gkremian

    gkremian New Member

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    You have built in contraceptives.
     
  14. Project X

    Project X New Member

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    is there some shit that i can try to help me keep it up? ive heard of honry goat weed.. anything else.. does this stuff work? i just think when we do have a good sex session itll clear away any of the mental issues.. and im down to use the pills if they will help...
     
  15. Twostep

    Twostep OT Supporter

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    I had the same problem at the start of my relationship. I learned of the sexual encounters my g/f had with her ex and others and it was the biggest turn off. For weeks I couldn't get it up, and I felt like shit. I thought something was wrong with me physically but after some research found that ED can be caused by stress and mental issues.

    Over time the ED went away but when I was reminded of her past, say the the Ex contacted her or a past fuck buddy tried to hook up again, the ED came right back. Even now, after a year+ of being with my g/f, I still get ED from time to time because I'm reminded of her past.

    It sounds like Projectx is going through the exact same thing. I'd recommend talking to her about it and telling her that you'd rather not be reminded of her past sexual experiences..in any way. Your g/f should be understanding. Let her know that it she isn't the problem, since many girls will assume right away it must be because they aren't attractive. That has nothing to do with it.

    One last thing, I read that if you still get morning wood then most likely it isn't a physical thing. I'd just give it some time man, it's all in your head.
     
  16. Isamu

    Isamu New Member

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    why wern't there girls like you, when i was 16.. :mamoru:

    but sounds like you nailed it.. spot on :wtg:
     
  17. Project X

    Project X New Member

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    yeah i know its in my head and i dont think anything is wrong with me.. i nevr knew sex would be this hard to have.. but with my gf it is cuz i think about shit. i dont want to talk to her about it because itll just piss me off more. i know i tried to hookup with someother chick i would have no issues havin sex. i dont know how to deal with this to be honest. are there some sex pills that help out? i just feel if i have sex with her a few times i would feel better about myself and not this bother me as much.
     
  18. Project X

    Project X New Member

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    basically.. ive already talked to my girl of almost 2 years about her past and it makes me really angry. and i also get pissed that ive been with her and she wants to marry me yet we have still not really have sex. shes done it before with other guys and didnt really happen with me.. she put a lot of pressure on me in the beginning when i was a virgin and now its more messed up cuz i was told about her past...

    anyone know of any pills? horny goat weed work?
     
  19. OhFourTwoThree

    OhFourTwoThree New Member

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    Not every romance is 'picture perfect'..two virgins falling in love and losing it to each other, being each other's first. I think that when your'e young, you have this fantasy..you want to be his/her first as well. Most of it is due to insecurity and jealousy but as you grow older, it isn't as much of an issue because you learn that love is also about acceptance, including accepting a person's past. Focus on t he here and the now...I don't think about my bf's exes and what he may have done with them. He chose to be with me and I know he's happy with me. That's all that matters to me.
     

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