SRS Get ready for a moderately long read *relation ship thread*

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by The Mighty Megatron, Feb 13, 2005.

  1. The Mighty Megatron

    The Mighty Megatron Secondborn of the best drummer known to man

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2004
    Messages:
    2,518
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Cybertron
    I've got a lot to say, so grab your snacks and stuff now, because we're not stopping after this sentence.

    Recently I've been talking to a chick from school named Amanda. She's really interesting, and very beautiful (no pics). We've been talking for a good month or two now, and with every phone conversation we have, and every letter she writes to me, it seems more and more like she's seriously into me. In a few of her letters, she said (paraphrasing here) "I've been trying to get my homework done all week, but everytime i have a spare second to think, i keep thinking about our conversations" and "I like you a lot more than i thought i would". That's all well and good for me, but i've got a problem.

    All of my 2004 was spent with GFs. From January '04 to January '05 i had, at most, two weeks the entire time when i wasn't in a relationship. After some of the girls from last year, i got burned out bad on relationships (most of them seem way too repetitious). For example, one girl i dated ended up playing games with me, maliciously trying to ruin my social status by saying i "forced myself on her", and even tried to say that she was pregnant with my kid (I never forced myself on her, and i know for a fact that i'm not the father of any children). Another girl I dated started believing her mom's words of how i was going to "Fuck her, leave her, then go around and turn her into the town whore by telling everyone how easy she was". She would go on and on about how unsure she is of my intentions, and when i protested, she'd get mad and hang up. After a few days of that, i got rid of her, like her mother predicted, but i never fucked her, nor did i turn her into a slut. Funny thing is, for someone who's so unsure, after i left her, she slit her wrist in the middle of class with a pair of scissors, claiming that "I didn't understand her right, and that all i wanted was a whore who'd suck the balls offa me" (i didn't and still don't have classes with her, so i wasn't there to see it go down).

    After shit like that, I decided to take a hiatus, lay back for 2 months or more, and just stay single for a while. This was about 5 weeks ago, and I didn't realize how hard it is to maintain something like this. Apparently, I'm more attractive to women than i thought, because I've had 5-10 different girls ask me out. Part of me wants to get close to Amanda, and let her know that i like her and want to progress into a relationship, and the majority of me just wants to explain the whole thing i explained earlier, and let her know i like her, but just am not comfortable going into a relationship currently, and then start hoping to god that she can wait until i get comfortable again.

    What should i do? I'm no good at shit like this! :noes:
     
  2. The Mighty Megatron

    The Mighty Megatron Secondborn of the best drummer known to man

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2004
    Messages:
    2,518
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Cybertron
    I may need to get this moved, i think i'm in the wrong forum!
     
  3. dinger

    dinger Guest

    we can't help you with stuff like that... you need to decide on your own whether you want to go into this or not.

    and also, you should make matters easier for yourself by not being 100% certain that she's into you. not only will it affect the way you plan things, but it will also open you up to heartbreak.
     
  4. Emfuser

    Emfuser Nuclear Moderator Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2002
    Messages:
    83,910
    Likes Received:
    465
    Location:
    Irmo, SC
    Thread moved to asylum per user request.
     
  5. johan

    johan Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2003
    Messages:
    5,123
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sahasrara; magnetic violet infinite
    I think you ought to get WAY more selective with who you choose to let get anywhere close to "girlfriend" status.

    This shouldn't be too hard, since as you say, you've had 5-10 girls ask you out over a short time span. My main concern isn't Amanda, but the psycho manipulative bish that threw a fit and slit her wrist in class. You definitely do not need anything to do with that one.

    Yikes can you imagine if you actually did get really close to her. There'd be so many mind games going on you probably couldn't remember your own name.

    As for Amanda, my advice would be to cool it down (for a while). You yourself know that you're "not ready" and you need to straighten out your own head. You can't seriously dive into anything real with Amanda in your current state.

    Unless all you're looking for is some casual sex -- that doesn't take much effort at all. Building a real relationship -- THAT is what takes some genuine input.

    If she's seriously into you, things can wait. Put yourself on hiatus for a month or two.
    You'll know when the time is right. For one thing, you won't have that nagging feeling that you're "not ready". Listen to your feelings in this matter.

    good luck.
     
  6. The Mighty Megatron

    The Mighty Megatron Secondborn of the best drummer known to man

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2004
    Messages:
    2,518
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Cybertron
    Thanks for the advice. I've been realizing lately that i don't properly evaluate women before attempting a relationship with them most of the time.

    Anyone have any ideas on how i should evaluate potential love interests properly? I'm really dense, so i tend to miss a lot of hints of "craziness", despite how intelligent i'm told i am. Is it bad that I'm supposed to be "smart" and I can't even catch on to hints?

    And thanks to Emfuser for the move, I owe ya one, mang!
     

  7. I agree on this.
     
  8. johan

    johan Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2003
    Messages:
    5,123
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sahasrara; magnetic violet infinite
    It's not unusual at all. I've noticed a lot of "smart" & "intelligent" people are not used to fluid social situations and miss subtle signs, or interpret the signals as weird and chaotic and not easily understood.

    It's no shame, think of a girl you know who's a real social butterfly. She probably couldn't do vector calculus to save her life, but she can juggle 6 boyfriends, none of whom know about each other. THAT takes some skill...

    Anyways, these skills can all be learned and improved so there's hope for you yet. Over time, you'll naturally learn who's serious and who's playing and how to spot the difference. Stay socially active, but don't get overly serious at this stage.

    You'll also get to know yourself better and what you need to be happy. Not every girl who's willing to give it up is worth the time and effort. Remember that.
     
  9. The Mighty Megatron

    The Mighty Megatron Secondborn of the best drummer known to man

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2004
    Messages:
    2,518
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Cybertron
    Still thinking about whether I'm ready not.... Been under a lot of stress the past few days (family matters), and haven't really been able to cope with it that easily. Put my fist through a door in an argument with my mother. My knuckles are all fucked up now... solid oak hurts.

    Further bullitins as events warrant....
     
  10. CBBaller

    CBBaller keira is below.

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2002
    Messages:
    2,723
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Flagstaff, AZ
    I'd take some time off of being in a relationship. After all of that, it would probably be for the best. You don't need to have a gf all of the time. If you really really like this girl (not just another girl you like) then go for it. Otherwise, I'd say just leave it alone.
     
  11. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Any relationship is like walking in a minefield, you know the map and are shouting from the safe side how your girl should walk towards you, you obviously have to do everything in your power that she won't get hurt and step one of the explosives. If you manage succesfully, she will be together with you :love:

    The thing is , your doing a good job, but you have to be more cautious with what you say, you have let your woman walk over the mines in your previous relationships causing them to get hurt.

    Carefull ,carefull , carefull.

    That should work.
     

Share This Page