SRS Generally bummed

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by geekierthanyou, May 7, 2009.

  1. geekierthanyou

    geekierthanyou Crews: DSLR, Brolie, Classic Car, Gun, Zombie, Pro

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    Not really looking for advice so much as I just want to type out what's on my mind... People have had worse lives than mine, no question about it, mine just seems exceptionally hard right now. I'm miserable in my marriage, haven't had sex in over 7 months, I am thinking about asking for a divorce June 1st. I got a speeding ticket today for going 50 in a 45. In the last year and a half I lost 90 lbs, going from 265 to 175. I did this with diet and the gym and lots of outside activities. In April (early) I had a bad mountain bike accident and tore my shoulder apart, had a complete AC Separation which basically means I destroyed the tendons holding my shoulder to my collar bone. Surgery is not recommended, which means for the rest of my life I will have a huge bump on my shoulder where my collar bone detached, as it will never re-attach. This means that I can't lift weights or do any really stressful activities (read: running, biking, hiking, anything where there is a remote chance I could fall on my shoulder) for about 6 months, which is where I pretty much get all my joy from nowadays.

    There are good things though, I have a strong support network of friends, and I have a great job that I'm in no danger of losing. I still have good things in my life, it's just that all these bad things have happened at the same time. I'm bummed.
     
  2. jim1234664

    jim1234664 New Member

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    this is your life, live it on your terms. If your wife doesnt make you happy and there is nothing keeping you there (kids) move on
     
  3. geekierthanyou

    geekierthanyou Crews: DSLR, Brolie, Classic Car, Gun, Zombie, Pro

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    No kids, we are 80k upside down on our house but she bought it before we were married and my name doesn't touch the title or loan. The only thing really that is community is the car, which we bought for her so I'd let her have.
     
  4. ///M

    ///M New Member

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    Any particular reason you're waiting till June 1st? :dunno:
     
  5. Jarg0n

    Jarg0n New Member

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    Sucks, but sounds like you answered your own question :\


    Oh...and 7 months? Wow.
     
  6. scent of a wookie

    scent of a wookie OT Supporter

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    you would think with your new look, she'd be more inclined to sex you up
     
  7. geekierthanyou

    geekierthanyou Crews: DSLR, Brolie, Classic Car, Gun, Zombie, Pro

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    Well, a few reasons. I said I'd give it 6 months from january and I'm sticking to that, also I don't have anywhere to go right now but in June my friends roommate moves out, so it actually works perfectly.
     
  8. geekierthanyou

    geekierthanyou Crews: DSLR, Brolie, Classic Car, Gun, Zombie, Pro

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    I thought so, but it turns out that isn't how it works... it helps for us (guys) but if the girl isn't into it you could look like brad pitt in flgith club and it wouldn't matter.
     
  9. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    Have you asked her why she has no interest in sex? Has she seen a doctor?

    I dunno man, if she hasn't given it up in 7 months makes you wonder if she's fucking somebody else. Probably not what you want to hear, but it could be the reason. :hs:
     
  10. geekierthanyou

    geekierthanyou Crews: DSLR, Brolie, Classic Car, Gun, Zombie, Pro

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    I have asked, she won't see a doctor, our psychologist brings it up almost every session and she just flat out refuses. I really don't think she is with anybody else, but hey, it's possible. To be honest at this point I don't really care if she is with somebody else, I've been faithful and I can't see it NOT ending soon, so I'm at peace about that.
     
  11. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    Maybe before you call it off, tell her straight up, the lack of sex is a deal breaker for you. If she doesn't see a doctor and find out what is going on, it's over.

    That's only if you wanted to try and salvage things, of course.
     
  12. geekierthanyou

    geekierthanyou Crews: DSLR, Brolie, Classic Car, Gun, Zombie, Pro

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    Oh I've told her point blank that no sex is a deal breaker. The psychologist told her point blank no sex is a deal breaker. She says she may want to again, in like a year. I said that's unacceptable, she shrugged. It was then that I realized divorce was unavoidable.
     
  13. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    :ugh::ugh::ugh:
     
  14. johan

    johan Active Member

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    It's time to move on.

    You've been through therapy to no avail. More time and more counselling won't change the ultimate outcome.

    Best you get a move on sooner than later.

    You should delay only as long as you need to to convince yourself that you didnt overreact, not too hasty, no regrets, etc.

    So I agree with the June 1 date. You should make plans now to leave the house and serve her with papers. DO NOT stay in the house.

    Good luck to you
     

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