First off, I don't really have any advice to ask for per se, I just feel like I kinda have to vent right now. Normally I wouldn't dump this kind of stuff on OT, but I'm in a different time-zone right now, and none of my friends are around, so I figured I should just try to get this off my mind so I can at least try to have a decent night's sleep. I'll make with the backstory first; I posted here not too long ago about some ridiculous girl-problem I had at the time (thankfully that's done with now), so one or two of the regs might remember me, but probably not. Either way, I'll try to keep this one shorter than the last. Here's basically what my life looks like; I'm 19, I work part-time (emphasis on the part, most I've worked in a month was 28 hours) and I play a sport on the professional level (although I'd call myself a semi-pro at most). I'm not currently going to school, but I'm making preparations to attend university in August or September, depending on where I go. On most fronts, I'm pretty happy with my life, and even though my social life has suffered because of the emphasis I've put on my training and traveling for my sport, I'm still a pretty popular guy, and have quite a few people in my life that I would consider friends. My issue right now is that I'm getting quite frustrated over two things, and I want to get them out of my mind 1) This isn't the biggest one, especially right now, but it always feels like it's in the back of my head; I have trouble believing in myself, on a...professional, I guess you'd say, level. Sometimes it seems like, no matter how well I do, or how many wins I get in practice/competition, I still lack self-esteem and self-belief to the point where it kills me during competition and I end up performing well below my level. This has been a long-standing issue for me, and even though I've made a lot of progress in this area as of late, it's still in the back of my mind. I have a competition coming up this weekend (the reason I'm in a different time-zone), and even though I've been very confident in the run-up to it, I'm still kind of nervous that I'll find a way to mess up. Granted, it's not as bad as usual, but what bothers me is that it's still there. 2) It seems that the main source of frustration in my life right now is relationships, or more specifically, lack thereof. As I mentioned, I have a pretty good circle of people who I consider to be friends, but the frustrating part comes from the sheer inability to find a girl, or (as I mentioned in the last thread I posted here) the inability to let her know how I feel and make something out of it before it's too late. Basically, being single is frustrating the hell out of me right now, because I've been single for quite a while now, and I guess that I'm afraid that, because it's starting to have this effect on me, it'll soon start affecting my performance on the court. To make matters worse, not long after I got over one girl (the subject of the previously mentioned thread), a friend of mine admitted that she had a thing for me. This was big because I felt the same way, but didn't want to say anything, blah blah blah. Now, the reason this isn't a good thing is because we're currently not living in the same place, which means that we basically can't do anything about it. There are times that we can hang out, but they don't exactly come often, and neither of us want to do long distance. Basically, I'm trying to deal with all of this shit just before playing an event that might help me get a scholarship to a nice school. Don't get me wrong, I know that these are both extremely trivial issues in both the long run and big picture, but they're kinda getting to me right now. Cliffs: Girls and sports piss Deckard off. A lot. EDIT: Yeah, I know, this post is also riddled with spelling and grammatical mistakes, but I'm frankly too tired to care right now.