Game and long LTRs

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Falconer, Aug 2, 2007.

  1. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Does there ever become a point in a relationship where you no longer have to bother playing "games" in order to keep up attraction? So I mean like no more push pull, no more "omg look how high value/high status I am," etc.?

    I see how it would be useful in the beginning of a relationship/attraction building, but does this model apply forever?

    It seems depressing to me to think that it would be possible to "keep" a chick based on how well you play the game, but that her love for you is based on your game abilities and not a special bond or whatever.

    I look at my parents and I'd like to think that they're at that point. They've been married for a long time.
     
  2. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    depends on how much game is making up for personality. i would think it would be an exaggerated example of letting yourself go and settling.

    many people stop doing the things they did in the first six months, and relax their habits a bit as they get more comfortable, and still stay together.
     
  3. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Falconer, the goal here is to reach a point where game is no longer something you "do", but something you are.

    I've gone through a couple transitions, literally a couple as in two. The first was accidental - I spent a summer busting my ass as a salesman which permanently improved my body language. The second was conscious - I read the male fairy tale, The Game, had my reality shattered and got set off on a path to self actualization. (As you know I have taken a detour at the moment by falling in love.)

    Despite being out of the game for a few months and having shit skills right now I am permanently in a better place. Once you leave the land of chode you don't go back
     
  4. FloppyCock

    FloppyCock New Member

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    Using those games to get a girl in bed is one thing, but using them to build a relationship is another.

    If you're using all that stuff to start a relationship, you have to keep in mind that the girl is falling for somebody that isn't really you. It isn't about some magical, unbreakable bond between to people, it is about two people being attracted to each other.

    If your girlfriend is attracted to who you are, you're set. If she's attracted to who you pretend to be, you've gotta keep pretending.
     
  5. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    it depends on if you and the girl are compatible. if you are dating some ridiculous attention whore, YES you always need to keep up the games. *if you have found a real woman, you can drop the games and be a real man*
     
  6. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    = "pick-up won't lead to good LTR's."

    For the record, this has been proven false by PUA's getting married, guys finding love with FAR more "success" with their relationships than non-community chodes, and basically any actual evidence you choose to investigate.

    To put it less analytically, this is keyboard jockey bullshit.
     
  7. FloppyCock

    FloppyCock New Member

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    Game playing won't lead to good long term relationships. If you want to take it as an insult to your sacred pick-up community, so be it.

    Don't I have to give a shit about all this PUA stuff to be a keyboard jockey? Am I to understand that anybody not into PUA is a "non-community chode"? Is it hard to be so immature in an adult world? The questions just keep piling up.
     
  8. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Do whatever works for you man, just stop posting terrible advice
     
  9. FloppyCock

    FloppyCock New Member

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    :rofl: Good answer.

    I stand by what I said: playing games won't lead to a good long-term relationship. I don't care if you like what I say, just don't be such a whiner about it.
     
  10. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    you are saying this from experience

    :bowdown:

    of course you stand by what you said. if you were wrong about something you said you'd get super defensive and chode right up. jk i'm sure you're really cool irl :rolleyes:
     
  11. Balzak

    Balzak New Member

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    Is it really from experience, Floppy?
     
  12. FloppyCock

    FloppyCock New Member

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    Yes. Playing games is a pretty easy way to screw up a relationship. I am currently two and a half years into a great relationship, and I never played games with her. Low drama, low maintenance, all fun.
     
  13. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    We're not talking about the same shit.

    Mainstream ideas of "playing games", vs. pick-up...

    How about "direct game". Doesn't fit your model, floppy.
     
  14. I'd post something useful, but I'd write a 20 some odd page article on it. It's better I just say, at some point it should end, but it doesn't.
     
  15. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    It just seems like, ok, say you're in an LTR and all is well. You're being yourself and she loves you for it. Say your attraction level to her is an 8.

    Ok, then she goes out and meets Mr. PUA who seduces her and basically shakes up her world. Whether or not she actually cheats on you doesn't matter, because she's now experienced a higher attraction for someone else, say a 9 or 9.5.

    This throws a wrench into things as she's not just changed from "omg, I love my LTR bf" to "um... I've never been so attracted to someone before..." which leads to curiosity.

    Now, if instead of "being yourself" you were using the Game, maybe you could regularly keep her attraction at a 9 or 9.5, too, which case that other guy she just met wouldn't be anything special.

    When someone in an LTR experiences more attraction toward someone else than they do to their SO, nothing good ever comes of it (for the other SO). I have been on both ends of that equation before.

    Accepting that "attraction is not a choice" has thrown my world for a loop. It has collapsed my ideals of "soul mates" and "everlasting love" that I so wanted to believe were true. Instead of being "special," everything is now able to be calculated, predicted, and analyzed.

    It sucks.

    I think accepting that is my next stage.
     
  16. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    So Game exists at the macro level as well as the micro level.

    Apparently it seems then that "true love" and "soul mates" exist only when one is naturally good at building attraction. And it's nothing special between those people, it's just that they're both building tons of attraction constantly.
     
  17. I have a better question, if you accept that attraction is not a choice, where do you go from there?
     
  18. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    You didn't read what I wrote here first? When it's something you ARE instead of something you DO then you don't really have to worry about it.
     
  19. Yes, they both constantly keep each other attracted (I'm talking young soul mates) Not people who are over 35 or so and getting married.
     
  20. FloppyCock

    FloppyCock New Member

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    What model? And what is "direct game"?
     
  21. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    The PUAs who get married and stay happily married aren't continuing to push game on their wives. They've just found women (who they may have initially attracted using game) that love them for who they REALLY ARE and not an image that they propagate.
     
  22. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    it's exactly that... how to pick-up while being direct. huge risks / huge rewards. i'm closer to direct game (when i sarge). you don't know what "pick-up" actually is because you haven't tried any of it out and you have barely seen the tip of the iceberg OF the stuff you haven't tried out so all your assumptions are whacky.
     
  23. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    they became their own game. internalization.
     
  24. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    yessir :o
     
  25. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    they haven't become their own game, because if women weren't around, they would not act that way.

    only if you can act around your girlfriend/wife in the same way as you would act around friends or by yourself can you say that you've found someone who likes you for who you are.
     

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